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EpicFailure
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Joined: 25 Nov 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Male
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25 Nov 2014, 3:20 pm

Hello guys and girls.

I have diagnosed Aspergers, adhd, ocd, sad and anxiety .. well I thought I would get that out of the way first. Im really sorry but I have a feeling I have posted in the wrong are of the forum :?

So I have been with my girlfriend for 9 months+ now and we get along like a house on fire, as she also has adhd herself so amongst our moodswings is a hell of a lot of closeness. We met when she was 16, so obviously I would have expected her mum to be a little protective about when and how long she can "go out" for etc.

The thing is, I want to ask what is the law and/or guidance of parents controlling their children for example at the age of 17 would it be "right" to tell your child of that age they can't go out, or have to be back by a certain time? She often stays over at my house, and she was going to tonight but her mum said "no you dont have to see him every day" when she asked to stay.

We live around 30 miles apart so seeing each other is obviously something I jump at the chance of doing, a plus side being that I drive. Anyway back to my point, should she be tolerating this kind of approach? She is often allowed out to see me etc yes, but I mean at 17 years old should a girl really be asking her mum permission? When I was 14/15 my parents used to tell me to be back at a certain hour text them periodically and be back for dinner etc. I was never told "no you can NOT go out!!" unless obviously I had done something wrong!

My heart is starting to break because more and more she is crying alone in her room because of the way her mum is, saying she cant see me "everyday" and all this sort of thing. I just want to be there for her but I dont know what to do? Is there an age at which a parent can't "control" you anymore? I keep telling her to just come out with me, and stay at mine for a few weeks and get away from it but she is too worried to stand up to her mum like this :/

I often pick her up from college and take her home, travelling 30 miles there to pick her up and drop her home (aprox seeing her for 20 minutes?) to drive 30 miles back home again. This is all just so I can cheer her up when her mum is being over the top, and without her mum knowing I have been around.


I really am unsure what to do, naturally I am seriously concerned as my conditions make me an extremely anxious individual and I tend to do all I can physically or otherwise to help a person in my life when they are low or in need, especially the girl I want to grow old with.

I would genuinely appreciate some guidance right about now.



Meril
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Joined: 16 Jun 2014
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25 Nov 2014, 9:55 pm

How old are you?



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Location: Queens, NYC

25 Nov 2014, 10:01 pm

I don't know about England--but, in the US, it's usual for a person to be considered an adult once the person turns 18. If the person's 17, he/she is pretty much bound to his/her parents (as the parents are bound to the kid).

The parent could tell the under 18-year-old kid who to see and who not to see.