A question to the non-autistic people

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agwood
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02 Dec 2014, 6:43 am

I remember when I was 5, my first day of school, I was so nervous of mixing with other kids, that I just started playing with toys all by myself.
Then I remember being invited to a party, everyone was dancing in a circle, and I was sitting in a corner watching.
Which I guess gives a whole new literal meaning to 'boy in the corner' ;)

It's kinda stayed that way ever since. However, I have no problem interpreting non-vocal signals, and have no routines or sensory issues.

Just out of curiosity, are there any other non-Aspegers folks out there who remember not really knowing how to mix with other people from a very young age?



Norny
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02 Dec 2014, 6:59 am

Yes.

The outward social expression of mild autism is actually quite common in introverted children. If you look at videos of me in Kindergarten, you would see me struggling to relate and thus sitting there in my own world (it's so visible in my videos that it isn't funny), avoiding eye contact.. basically anything that on observation would seem autistic to a person looking for it.

I still don't know how to mix with other people, and that comes with being an introvert. I feel like I have to 'fake it' in a way similar to autistics faking NT, though to a lesser degree, because I am able to distinguish between emotion and don't lack social cognition.

I think that many look for signs of autism in social deficits rather than what is normal, and that's why I get frustrated when others equate autistic social mentality and behaviour with introversion, because that's so entirely inaccurate.

When a person suspects autism, the outward social expression should not be examined, it should only be observed, and then the underlying mentality and related processes examined. Though I suppose that is the same with stimming and virtually every other characteristic too.

I forgot to mention that in Kinder, I only had one friend, and I would follow this friend continuously and keep trying to talk to him despite him ignoring me the majority of the time and playing with toys. When I wasn't doing that I was making my own lego designs in the corner.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2014, 9:03 am

The fact that you were "playing with toys" appropriately would have been a "good sign."

Many autistic children play with toys in "inappropriate" ways. They take them apart and put them back together; they perseverate over various parts of toys, such as wheels (they spin a wheel/tire continuously, say, rather than "drive" the car).