Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

LokiofSassgard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2014
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 719
Location: My own autistic wonderland!

29 Nov 2014, 6:18 pm

Are you honest? Have you ever told lies before? I ask because it's said that aspies and autistics don't lie. I find this to be a lie itself because we are capable of it just like others are. I still want to know what your views are in all of this.

I've lied several times, and I don't have too much of a problem with it.


_________________
Currently diagnosed with Autistic Disorder, ADHD, severe anxiety, learning delays and developmental delays.


JitakuKeibiinB
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 714

29 Nov 2014, 7:50 pm

I'm not particularly honest. I lie all the time. :shrug:



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

29 Nov 2014, 8:13 pm

I've lied many times, but probably a lot less than the average person. Every time I do, I feel uncomfortable. I definitely prefer honesty but unfortunately my society doesn't value it all that much and it's hard to get by being honest in a dishonest society.



slave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2012
Age: 111
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,420
Location: Dystopia Planetia

29 Nov 2014, 8:17 pm

I would like to see evidence that ASD persons do not lie, before I will give credence to it.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

29 Nov 2014, 8:21 pm

I know how to lie. My hair is red. I just lied because my hair isn't red.

I used to lie as a kid to stay out of trouble but it never worked most of the time.

I can lie when embarrassed about something or ashamed or don't want to hurt someone's feelings or get them angry.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Grayfolded95
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

29 Nov 2014, 8:22 pm

I can tell a good lie when the situation calls for it. It's hard to be completely honest when you constantly feel the need to hide your true self from people.



Luzhin
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 274
Location: Somewhere between Heaven and Hell

29 Nov 2014, 9:04 pm

I don't like to lie because I really hate being lied to and don't want to do the same to others.

Can I lie? Oh, yeah, I've told some real whoppers in my life. Problem with lies though, is you have to remember what you told people and I have a terrible memory. So, I get tripped up in the lie.



luan78zao
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2014
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 490
Location: Under a cat

29 Nov 2014, 10:04 pm

I can lie, but I'm certainly not very good at it nor do I enjoy it. Fortunately as an adult lying is not at all necessary. I try to live as honestly as possible, both in the 'no porky pies' sense and in the deeper sense of not seeking to gain any values through force or deception.


_________________
"We are fast approaching the stage of the ultimate inversion: the stage where the government is free to do anything it pleases, while the citizens may act only by permission – which is the stage of the darkest periods of human history, the stage of rule by brute force." – Ayn Rand


progaspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2011
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 673
Location: Australia

30 Nov 2014, 4:25 am

I don't think I ever lied up until the age of about forty. Now I'm able to lie. I think being married does that to you.



Sibyl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Age: 79
Gender: Female
Posts: 597
Location: Kansas

30 Nov 2014, 4:35 am

I can lie. However, it makes me uncomfortable, even the "whitest" of white lies ("How are you today?" "Fine".) So I get around the actual expected lie with a humorous stock answer, "Puttin' one foot in front t'other", which doesn't twitch at me. When I do feel it necessary and desirable to say what isn't true, I'm very bad at it, and generally get caught. I probably have a lot of "tells". So when it's necessary, I try to evade or say something that may be the exact truth, but it's a lie in intent.


_________________
Asperges me, Domine


Princess Adora
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 44
Location: Australia

30 Nov 2014, 4:38 am

I'm am very honest person but not to the point of being nasty,but it's very hard for me to lie i hate doing it sometimes I'm too honest for my own good



Naturalist
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 170
Location: Missouri, USA

30 Nov 2014, 10:45 am

I find myself lying about a lot of stupid things. The reason being that in the past, my honest answers to certain topics led to ridicule or abuse. I found as a child that if I said something opposite to what I really thought / felt, people might still make fun of what I said, but it fails to hurt or confuse me because they are responding to something that isn't really me anyway.

If that makes sense. So basically, lies are a self-defense mechanism.

The problem is, it doesn't build my self-esteem, because I am uncomfortable with lying and am really self-critical when I resort to it. Also, I do have a crappy short-term memory and can't recall what I said, so other people usually figure out that I have been untruthful. Working in therapy on alternative solutions, but just the other day found myself lying to a sweet elderly Mennonite woman at the farmer's market simply because I did not want to buy eggs that day. I could say, "I do not need any eggs, today" but when I make such a brief definitive statement, it often sounds abrupt and even angry to other people, so I adopted "storyteller mode" and said that I still had some eggs from the organic garden at the college. Seriously, who needs to lie about eggs??? But because people have criticized me so much for my tone of voice when making short statements, I feel like I need to draw things out a little, add some description, make myself think before I speak. But she probably knew I was lying anyway, because in addition to my voice getting softer I also stutter because I get nervous.

The other problem is, if someone presses me when I tell a lie, I get really angry, because it is so hard for me to lie and the overwhelming feeling I have when I am moved to lie in the first place is, "leave me ALONE."

Bottom line is, I have learned to lie because the truth, and how I relay the truth, has so often been deemed "unacceptable" by others. I often don't know what response they are seeking, but I can usually be assurred that it isn't the one I would honestly give.

I wrote an essay on this topic, "Confessions of a Lying Aspie," for my therapist. If I can find it on my computer drive next week I will post it.



rugulach
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 282

30 Nov 2014, 12:59 pm

I find it difficult to lie, it is almost as if I have to 'pre-plan' to lie or I can't do it. This is quite unlike many NTs I've come across who are able to lie more naturally and on the fly.



Protogenoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 817

30 Nov 2014, 8:08 pm

I can lie... I even studied how to lie, read some books on it. It's necessary for survival. Do I like lying, no.
Lying makes me feel like my heart is being torn in two. I want to tell the truth. The reason I don't always tell the truth is mainly fear. Lying and fear go hand and hand. I lie to escape from fears and I fear that my lies are exposed. Most people consider me honest, and I like that. I won't lie unless I think it is critical for my survival.


_________________
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem. I've known it from the start all these good ideas will tear your brain apart. Scared, but you can follow me. I'm too weird to live but much too rare to die. - a7x


Deb1970
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 512
Location: Iowa

30 Nov 2014, 9:31 pm

I do lie sometimes but I'm not very good at it. Most of the time others can tell that I'm not telling the truth. I have also unknowingly lied because something someone told me was a lie and then I told someone else the lie. Example: A lady at work told me that someone had been fired. I then told someone else when asked " Have you talk to or seen Gary lately? No, someone told me he was fired. Later I find out that he had not been fired and that the person who told me this was just spreading rumors. Now everyone thinks I'm untrustworthy. From now on I will be very careful who I talk to and how I answer questions at work. People can be so mean.


_________________
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."

- Edgar Allan Poe -


Transyl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 732

01 Dec 2014, 3:13 am

I've lied many times for a variety of reasons. I never like doing it though. I prefer to be honest which means I always end up making myself more vulnerable.