I feel like I'm going mentally crazy

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I don't know what to do. I been having alot of problems with my sister, I really can't take it anymore, she makes me want to scream & I can cry, cuz I get too emotional. She don't listen to me & believe me. She don't believe me about Asperger getting more symptoms as you get older. She don't believe me about alot of stuff. I feel so alone & scared. I talked to her & she still don't believe me, I don't know what to do, I feel sooo lost, I'm fighting a losing battle. I want to move out again, but I don't have enough money.

Did you ever feel like you mentally crazy or have a completely mental breakdown?

Right now I've probably reached the paranoia levels that Tupac Shakur experienced in 1995 (I'm paranoid about an autistic genocide and whatnot, don't ask). I'm completely paranoid.

Some questions:

what's the age difference between you and your sister?
who is older?
why do you need her to validate you?
what do your parents think?
who understands you best?

Please accept my condolences about your mother. You have had a very significant loss as she was closest to you and your mother. I am really sorry and perhaps your current confusions stem from the grief and disorientation of losing her. I think it might help to talk to a counsellor about your grief, or a helpline anonymously. And your friends at Wrong Planet.

Thanks


It's still hard, but I'm trying to put my life back together.

Yes, you are trying to put the shattered pieces back together, and good for you. It takes time to mourn a loss that large. Be kind to yourself, be gentle with yourself, and get the rest you need.

I have no idea what is available in your wider area, though if possible, try to find a support group that can understand and support you. Maybe contact a Citizen's Advice Bureau, if you have one locally, as they keep lists of every kind of support group in their area. Helplines also usually know what is out there and which might suit you.

B19; I want to go to a therapist, I need to find one first, I been going to therapy since I was a teenager. I had a very hard time growing up with Cerebral Palsy, Asperger, Psoriasis & being very lonely. I never had real friends, I had a group of handicap kids that go to different schools with me, but it was hard for me to talk to them, I talk to them but not alot. Elementary School was the worse, I had no one to talk to at play time. I thought it was my fault, something was wrong with me, I felt pretty bad. Back then I didn't know I had Asperger. ALOT happened to me before age 16, I had physical therapy, speech therapy & alot of other bad things. No wonder I had a mental breakdown in public. I don't know why I'm writing this all down.

It all makes sense to me. Thank you for elaborating on your past experience. What I get from reading what you write is a sense of how isolated you really are - even though you live with family members. And I think this and other things that have happened have left wounds that you haven't yet had a chance to heal and this is now complicated by your grief.

Good on you for opening up here - I am very glad that you did. Stay in touch. Let me know how goes.

May be your sister could do with a bit of help understanding you too.

Is she your carer or do you just reside there.

Either way you could both do with some kind of support.

Minimize contact with her. I have the same problems with my parents, and by minimizing my conversation, they are more bearable.

Yeah, I agree with B19. I think you've got alot of issues that haven't been dealt with, and now the loss of your mother is exacerbating the issues you already had. I also agree with whomever said it would help your sister to get counseling, as well. Maybe after you get acclimated with a Psych, you can then go together and get things ironed-out.

I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your mother, and the troubles with your sister, but I agree with everyone else who said you should probably stop trying to MAKE her understand.

Things went from bad to worse for me & my sister. We had another argument, she called me evil & I was born evil, LOL, she must be off her medication. And she said we not sisters anymore or friends. She hadn't been a sister to me since we were kids.