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B19
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08 Dec 2014, 10:44 pm

I wonder if rapidly changing hormone levels and the mood swings that they can bring are making her harder to live with. The late 40s can really be a difficult time for some women, speaking from memory rather than theory.

Do you go out at all? Are there places to go where you meet people you know? Are you involved in anything in your community? Do you have any friends locally?



Kitty4670
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08 Dec 2014, 11:14 pm

She is 48.


No I don't go out, but I will go out.



B19
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09 Dec 2014, 12:19 am

Maybe start with some low key quiet and peaceful places, like visiting the library or public gardens..



Kitty4670
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09 Dec 2014, 7:52 pm

I will go out walking then I have to go out more, I been putting off going to the doctors & getting my eyes check.



B19
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09 Dec 2014, 8:40 pm

One thing at a time... maybe a daily walk for now, unless you have some urgent medical problems which I hope you don't. I have just started walking too.



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09 Dec 2014, 10:17 pm

I been walking more in my house & I have stairs too (my sister live upstairs & I live downstairs) I been slowly climbing the stairs. I can't do alot of walking outside right now, I have feet problems & my legs are not strong enough. I been staying home mostly for over a year. I had a very hard time, I had very bad anxiety last year. I just started coming back to life months ago, I been taking baby steps to get my life back. Last year was the worse, I wanted to die, I was so close with my mother, we had a great relationship & we hung out, we went shopping, to the movies, to the music store & more stuff, it is painful to write this.

I wish my grandmother understood me, she want me to rush my grief for my mom & my sister been patient with me, but she still don't understand me. I been talking alot to my dad, I feel my mom is helping him be patient with me, listen to me & believe me.


Can you be mentally depressed?



B19
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09 Dec 2014, 11:07 pm

Yes, generally people feel the heaviness of depression in both their body and mind, and things feel very slowed down. However don't be too hard on yourself, you have had a lot to deal with, and it's early days for you. If you can, try to do a tiny bit more every day - as you say, baby steps; baby steps start to add up to bigger change. I am glad your Dad is more understanding.

At 48, if your sister doesn't understand you now, then it's very very unlikely that she ever will. I regret to say that you are probably going to have to give up on the hope that she will change. She probably won't. So focus on what changes you want to make for you. Maybe ring a helpline anonymously just to talk about how you feel. They are there for that, you don't have to be in an extreme state to contact them.

Maybe tomorrow?



Kitty4670
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10 Dec 2014, 3:30 am

My sister & me were close as kids, but when we got to be teenagers, she were busy with boys, friends & doing her own thing. I felt left out, I became jealous of her, I had no one to be friends with. I just played with my toys. We were never close after we were kids, we got along, not all the time.

My parents spended more time with me than her cuz of my disability & I got psoriasis when I was 6 years old, I was in & out of hospitals & saw tooooo many doctors, I almost died cuz of my medicine. In adult life, she told me she was jealous of me cuz our parents pay more attention to me. After we were kids, she never acted like a sister to me, she was never there for me, maybe a few times.

My dad going talk to her about me, I don't know if he going to make her understand me.



B19
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10 Dec 2014, 3:59 am

You sound a bit better, and I am glad to hear that your Dad will talk to your sister about the situation. We all need someone who understands and cares about us. It seems like you don't feel much of that at home at the moment, although your Dad seems more understanding of your needs. Do you ever go out together, to the movies, or a walk in the park?



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10 Dec 2014, 9:17 pm

I was never close with my father, his work was #1 with him. We went to the beach together with my sister & my mom when I was a kid. I spend time with him on vacations & me, my dad & my mom always go to the mountains. Everytime I spended with him, my mom always there. It was a complicated relationship like I had with my sister. I lived with my mom when my parents separated.

Thanks for caring! Not too many ppl care about me. Can I ask if you are a man or a woman?



B19
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10 Dec 2014, 9:26 pm

I am a woman :)



B19
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10 Dec 2014, 11:05 pm

It sounds like the loss of your mother left this great emptiness in your life, and nothing has happened to ease that for you yet. I wonder whether you like animals, and if you do, maybe getting a kitten or some other needy little animal could be a start of something new in your life. Another thing that seems to be causing you a lot of pain and distress is the lack of social connection in your life, and I know how hard it is to make new connections. However baby steps for now, and think about what forms "something new in your life" could possibly take.

One way or another, see if you can bring something new and meaningful into your life over the next few weeks, whatever it is - a kitten, or something you like and enjoy. I sincerely hope that 2015 is going to be very different for you, after this very unhappy time you have come through. And you are not going mentally crazy, though I can now understand why it felt like it when you started this thread.

Glad that you are on Wrong Planet.



Kitty4670
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11 Dec 2014, 7:03 pm

Do you want to email privately on here?



B19
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11 Dec 2014, 8:47 pm

You are welcome to send me a private message, I will be glad to hear how you are getting on.