Page 1 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

user1001
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 1 Feb 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 249

04 May 2011, 7:12 pm

I am male and 17 with ASD and none seems to know me at all. I would be hanging out with someone for a while but then when some of their other friends come along they want to talk to them instead of me. I feel so left out and I have never been invited to friends house nor do I think that I have any. I would be forgotten about by the teachers and they would mark me absent because of how quiet I am. I am shy and quiet and it seems like that everyone dislikes me when I am at school. I never got to hangout with anyone at all and I never got invited into groups. When the teacher says that it is group time I would do the work by my self. I am mostly mute and quiet the whole time. I feel so lonely that I wish that I could be someone who could make more friends or something. I would like to know what was you're experience with being forgotten about?



Radiofixr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2010
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,495
Location: PA

04 May 2011, 7:24 pm

my experiences are pretty much the same-except when people needed something fixed they would call and ask me to fix things and then promptly forget me-I have been ignored right to my face and forgotten about right to my face.


_________________
No Pain.-No Pain!! !!


js3521
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 10 Dec 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 150
Location: Texas

04 May 2011, 7:27 pm

I have the same problem. I think that it's because I don't initiate contact as often as most people.



kepheru
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 218
Location: U.S.

04 May 2011, 8:33 pm

When I was in high school I would ask one of my "friends" if he was going to do something later in the week, and he would say he would tell me if he was. A few days later he would start telling me about this great time he had going out, and I would ask why he didn't invite me. He would just go "Oh yeah, I forgot. I'll tell you next time". Needless to say, "next time" didn't happen. Towards the end of my senior year I got a few invites though. I've been completely forgotten since high school though.



Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

04 May 2011, 8:52 pm

I've had this experience on and off, I'm not sure what causes it.

I read something in Women From Another Planet? in which someone talked about basically being invisible around other people. When she spoke, others reacted as if the words came right out of the air. I read something on ANI's site (in the history of ANI) where Jim Sinclair mentions this sort of thing.



takeapart
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 224
Location: In my boat on a lake, river & canal.

04 May 2011, 9:02 pm

Friendship to me is based on common interests, I remember all the toys I had as a kid and all the big toys as an adult, but not all the people. If you can add to an activity\task you will be remembered. other similar thread for reference also:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt158573.html



Skepkat
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 89

04 May 2011, 9:13 pm

Happens to me all the time. Happened in grade school and happens at work. Generally speaking, it wasn't until I was in my 20's that I really started to feel half way comfortable in voicing opinions. But if it's a large group, I always melt into the background.

It's one reason I love animals. They never overlook me or forget about me.


_________________
Later,
Kimberly


TalusJumper
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 170

04 May 2011, 9:16 pm

Yep- has been happening to me all my life. :?



kahlua
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 363

05 May 2011, 5:57 am

all the time.

I had a really bad time last year and my life fell into a heap. I disappeared from the world (other than going to work) for a few months and nobody noticed.



peterd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2006
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,347

05 May 2011, 7:05 am

Back when I was young, I got so used to being forgotten or overlooked that I began to see being invisible as a life goal. This was what I was put here to do. Yessss...

These days? It still happens, but these days I object to it. Doesn't make much difference, but for me? I have a right to be here.



izzeme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665

05 May 2011, 7:06 am

yup, sounds familiar, also when ordering some drink in recess, even when i'm first in line and at the centre, i usually get served last if i dont speak up about them, sometimes they just flat out serve the person who's litterally right behind me (so they shouldn't even be able to see him)...

although, this invisibility also comes with some advantages; i'm about 6'6" (close to 2 meters) long, but i am capable of just going trough nearly any crowd without being noticed, which is quite handy if you need a quiet getaway to prevent a meltdown or something simular



y-pod
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,644
Location: Canada

05 May 2011, 7:14 am

I used to feel quite invisible and kinda liked it. Although since I started wearing bold colorful clothes people seem to notice me more. I suspect it's because I look quite different. I don't mind being visible.

As of people forgetting me. Well I'm not sure. I generally just assume most people have poor memory and don't keep their words. I'm usually quite surprised if people actually did things they said they'd do.


_________________
AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )


starryeyedvoyager
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 942
Location: Berlin, Germany

05 May 2011, 9:37 am

No, I am sadly a quite memorable person. Don't know why that is, but even my teachers from primary school remember who I was, even recognize me on the street. People lose contact with me easily (or to be accurte: vice versa), but that is another story.



Indy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 950

05 May 2011, 10:16 am

Yeah, I sometimes feel like Mr Cellophane.

I'm very quiet as well, and sometimes I get mute. I think most people want to talk with someone who's less awkward. I'm not sure if I like it or not when people forget about me. Sometimes I want some space and I'm glad people don't notice me.



anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,196
Location: Ontario, Canada

05 May 2011, 3:18 pm

Most people with AS and other difficulties never forget me. Once they meet me, they seem to want to spend as much time with me as possible. However, at times, this gets annoying at times as things are not fully reciprocal (i.e. it's all about them and their interests) and I have a hard time forming the emotional connections that I desire from them.

A good portion of NTs seem to forget about me though, and I'm still not sure why. At times, I will simply drop off their radars, despite the fact that I shared memories and good times with them. Maybe they sense I am different and choose to deal with it by ignoring me or paying less attention to me. I also wonder if I've done something to unintentionally tick them off.


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder

My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


wavefreak58
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,419
Location: Western New York

05 May 2011, 3:20 pm

I forget about me. I suspect other people do as well.


_________________
When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.