Do you ever feel jealous of other people's normal Lives?

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y-pod
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19 Dec 2014, 9:23 am

I wish I have more friends sometimes, but I can't really click with many people. When I imagine being friends with them, I see drinking, eating, gossiping, shopping, texting each other about everything. Not things I'm really interested in. It's better to have fewer friends who are more your type.


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Toy_Soldier
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19 Dec 2014, 9:35 am

There are aspects of 'normal life' I wish I had, and maybe that is envy, but in the whole, no. I would not wish to lose the insight I believe my autisim gives me. Plus normal lives per se seem a bit dull to be honest.



b9
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19 Dec 2014, 10:14 am

Quote:
Do you ever feel jealous of other people's normal Lives?

no. i am thankful that they have them and not me.



Joe90
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19 Dec 2014, 10:24 am

I also get very competitive with people, which I thought would be unusual for an Aspie. I get upset about how popular I am compared to others, both online and offline. Sometimes when I see my boyfriend talking to his friends I think to myself, 'I wish I was like that in a group.' He's quite shy but still feels comfortable talking in a group of friends or work colleagues. When I'm in a group, I don't get listened to that often, and if I'm with 2 other people its usually me who gets left out, unless I'm with 2 people that are siblings. I don't know why its always like that.


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felinesaresuperior
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19 Dec 2014, 10:51 am

sometimes I feel bad and inadequate and jealous. I was with my sister and her kids yesterday for about seven hours straight in my parents' house, and I liked it at first, but very quickly it got depressing and frustrating. normal people would've enjoyed themselves.

This is also part of the reason why I dont have close relationships with two of my three nieces, because I didnt spend enough time with them when they were growing up.

And when others around me got jobs and talked about it like it was the easiest thing in the world, and some of them were losers, and yet they still could find jobs. only I struggled. cant ride a bicycle, cant lit a match, cant find a boyfriend, cant handle a baby.

yeah, it hurts. I understand where you're coming from.


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nikkiDT
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19 Dec 2014, 10:53 am

Sometimes I do. I wish at the very least, I had a guy, a degree and my own place. I wish I could see my friends a little more. But most of the time, I don't really feel jealous. You just keep busy with your special interests, obsessions and life.



LokiofSassgard
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19 Dec 2014, 12:02 pm

Sometimes, especially those who have jobs, kids and get married. :/ I don't think I'll be able to have kids because of my childbirth fears. I just can't face them, even at the age I am currently. ._.


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Andrejake
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19 Dec 2014, 3:11 pm

Toy_Soldier wrote:
Plus normal lives per se seem a bit dull to be honest.


Assuming the definition of normal as what i usually see people of my age doing around here i agree with you.
But there are times that i wonder how would it be to be like them too... I don't know if it's envy.



VioletYoshi
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19 Dec 2014, 3:15 pm

I sometimes envy people who can ask for help, without being afraid others will hurt them psychologically for it.



lostonearth35
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19 Dec 2014, 3:54 pm

My older brother is able to support himself and his family. He's probably the most highly-educated members of our whole family. He's a college graduate, he's made software for casino games in Les Vegas, he was an animator at the short-lived studio that was here in Cape Breton. When I was younger I tried hard to get my stories and cartoons published and it was always very short-term and temporary. The closest I was to being a real newspaper cartoonist was when I was 19 and made comic strips that were published twice a month for 25$ a strip in a paper in Halifax that had added a page aimed at teenagers. The page ran for maybe 10 months and that was it it was over. I love my brother but I feel like I'll never make my own dreams come true or be as successful as him. I hardly ever even get to see him any more because he lives in New Brunswick and it's like a 10-hour drive, and when he does visit I'm lucky to see him for more than an hour.

But it's not really accurate to say my brother's life is "normal". I learned only a few months ago he's had really bad anxiety problems and even suffers fainting spells. I've never seen this happen to him, he must be under a lot of stress. He was always kind of shy but he has friends and a social life so I never thought he had any really serious problems. I know everyone has problems but some have much worse than others, if you know what I mean.



auntblabby
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19 Dec 2014, 4:56 pm

I dislike always seeming to trip over my thalawacker [so to speak].



downbutnotout
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19 Dec 2014, 8:37 pm

Sometimes. However, I don't need the Internet to tell me how to do things like ask someone out, so I'm still a step ahead of many NTs in personal problem-solving. It's a ridiculously common question on some forums that's solved simply by doing something.



Skilpadde
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19 Dec 2014, 8:44 pm

No, I don't envy them because most of it are things I don't want, things I'm not interested in. Truth be told, I'd be bored out of my mind if I had to live an NT life the way I am.
I have never wanted children, and I have no interest in romantic relationships. I'd just feel smothered.
For the same reason I have no desire for real life friends. People are too needy for me.

I am very content with having all the time in the world for my interests.
I was miserable when I didn't.

The only thing I wish I had is economic security.


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auntblabby
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19 Dec 2014, 8:45 pm

the ever-present feeling of being surplus, of being unwanted/unneeded by anybody, was a psychic strain.



Edna3362
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19 Dec 2014, 9:08 pm

I used to, but not anymore.
I only see acting NT as a tool than a suitable lifestyle for myself.


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19 Dec 2014, 10:13 pm

At times I do feel very jealous in this kind of way.
One difficulty is that I honestly don't know what an NT version of me would be like.
How does one possibly untangle what comes from where?
e.g. would they be a "mainstream" mono straight vanilla or a sucessful poly bi kinkster.