Have you ever been abroad and thought you belonged there?

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Tigurinn
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04 Jan 2015, 1:56 pm

I went to London for the first, and as of yet still the only, time over a decade ago and I remember when I had just gotten my first sight of London after travelling from the airport (when I had just exited the tube station) that I got a very warm feeling and a thought that I was now "back home" - and I don't live in England and not even in an English speaking country.

....very hard to explain and a pretty weird feeling when you think about it.

But I wonder if this sensation or feeling has gripped anyone else in their travels (and sorry if this is in the wrong section; please feel free to move it)



Joe90
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04 Jan 2015, 2:57 pm

Back in 2011 I went to the Isle of Wight with my family, and I felt like I belonged there. The people just seemed more relaxed and friendly, and it was only a small island, and the atmosphere made me feel like I was in a different country, even though the Isle of Wight is still part of Britain. I was so relaxed on that wonderful holiday, that I felt very down when I came home. I just felt strange when I came home. I looked around at the local people and I just felt disconnected. I really wanted to be back in the Isle of Wight.


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MonochromeMatryoshka
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04 Jan 2015, 3:43 pm

One of my parents is Canadian, so since I was a baby, we've been going for long trips yearly. I feel like it's more of a home to me than Ireland is...



Campin_Cat
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04 Jan 2015, 4:55 pm

Oh, yeah----I lived in Wales for a couple of years, and I STILL miss it, and that was THIRTY years, ago!!



DarkAscent
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05 Jan 2015, 5:05 am

My mum's family is from Hong Kong, so we used to visit Hong Kong yearly since I was a few months old. Hong Kong feels more like a home than Britain.

There's something about many of the people in Hong Kong that makes Hong Kong feel more like home. Maybe it's because they tend to be so blunt and straightforward. They don't use a lot of face expressions either which means less confusion. And Cantonese food is my favourite food too. A lot of the Hong Kong Chinese people are friendly towards tourists as well from my experiences.



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05 Jan 2015, 5:17 am

It's too easy to flirt with the thoughts of alternative 'what if' scenarios that completely omit all the bad, there's just as much evil and sadness that awaits you on one side of the globe than the other. I don't believe in those fantasies at all.



TheSperg
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05 Jan 2015, 6:58 am

People forgive foreigners for faux pas and quirks simply because they are foreign.

After a few years in your new home people that know you would drop this courtesy and you'd be back to square one.

Strangers might continue to cut you slack due to your appearance or accent though.



iammaz
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05 Jan 2015, 9:56 am

I find that people give a lot of slack to a foreigner who is trying to fit in. it'll take ages for them to work out that you're always socially awkward and not just having trouble with the language.
Sounds like fun.



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05 Jan 2015, 11:44 am

Have lived abroad 6 years, I think both views expressed above are correct. One can feel more at home if the culture/interests/attitudes are closer to your natural state. For example, I felt more in tune with European culture then with my native USA. However over time you see there are layers of acceptance and fitting in. Getting past the first layers may not be difficult but the deeper ones may be a lot tougher then you realize at first. Fitting in to the point of enjoying the experience is certainly possible but getting the feeling of truly belonging could be very elusive and I have seen some give up and return to their native country in frustration over that.



jk1
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05 Jan 2015, 12:09 pm

Although I have never been to other foreign countries, I'm starting to think that all countries/people are basically the same. I will be an outcast wherever I go.



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05 Jan 2015, 12:33 pm

jk1 wrote:
Although I have never been to other foreign countries, I'm starting to think that all countries/people are basically the same. I will be an outcast wherever I go.


As far as all being the same, yes and no. All are Homo Sapiens Sapiens and exhibit human behavior, and with increased communication and contact some similiarities grow. But many people in different parts of the world still have very different values, attitudes and traditions.

One can't escape one's self of course. A person with one arm will be that no matter where they go. Same with ASD. But traveling is usually a fairly solitary activity, except for the people you go with that you know. Meeting people traveling is difficult for anyone, NT or ASD. So if the goal is to travel and see things, do not let ASD stop you. In most cases they will never know. There is no really hard and fast characterization I could make, but sometimes the ASD might not be an increased obstacle. I normally did much better meeting people and foreign friends then NT co-workers. A certain amount of reserve/respect and being observant was a plus I usually found.



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05 Jan 2015, 12:53 pm

I get the opposite. I hate leaving South England. When I was in Cyprus (dad lives there as he was born there), I was longing for home, which is London. And Cyprus is the island I have visited every year for my whole life. Same when I went to Poland (I'm half Greek Cypriot and half Polish), I hated it and I remember listening to a London radio station online there because I was so homesick.


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Toy_Soldier
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05 Jan 2015, 1:08 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
I get the opposite. I hate leaving South England. When I was in Cyprus (dad lives there as he was born there), I was longing for home, which is London. And Cyprus is the island I have visited every year for my whole life. Same when I went to Poland (I'm half Greek Cypriot and half Polish), I hated it and I remember listening to a London radio station online there because I was so homesick.


Well, I know its not for everyone. But a person should a least try it, to see for themselves what it is like. For me, if it's to the right place it's almost magical and I feel more alive with the new stimulus and the images and events remain with me as good memories. It also increases my understanding of life and people, which is kind of related to my interests. When I write, I often use those experiences.

P.S. Mixed Cypriot/Polish is not something you come across every day! But yet you are English in practicality.



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05 Jan 2015, 2:23 pm

I went to Wales four years in a row and I always felt like I was home. Technically as Wales is in the United Kingdom, I suppose it isn't abroad per-se but oh well! As for strange mixtures I am half Northern English, a quarter Southern English and a quarter Hungarian with Irish descendants!


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Tigurinn
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05 Jan 2015, 2:39 pm

Jellybean wrote:
I went to Wales four years in a row and I always felt like I was home. Technically as Wales is in the United Kingdom, I suppose it isn't abroad per-se but oh well!


Hahahaha I, of course, should have put "somewhere" instead of "abroad" :lol:

My bad.

Because my idea, or what I'm fishing for, is if people have ever gotten that inner feeling of "being home", even though you've never been there before! Whether it's a different city in your home country or - as in my case - a city in a different country.

(I find it difficult to explain that feeling - you would have to had experienced it; much like it's difficult explaining being in love to someone who hasn't been in love)



LupaLuna
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05 Jan 2015, 2:46 pm

There is an old saying "The grass isn't always greener on the other side.". Back in 1997, I came in to some money after my mother died and I decided to go travel the world, In search of "My place in this world." hypothetically speaking. Although it was a lot of fun to travel the world. I found myself longing to go back home. Of course, I never knew that I had AS at that time.