Have you been BULLIED? Share your story.

Post Reply New Topic

Interesting. Music and developing an identity seemed to help me too. I cannot understand what motivates bullies to harm others. Not all of them can be psychopaths because the frequency of psychopaths is too low in the population (relative to the frequency of bullying). I guess there is a basic part of human nature among some people to fear what they do not understand. Some types of institutions may even encourage this type of thinking (i.e., fear of things or people that are different). I watched the movie about Professor Alan Turing that came out in 2014 called The Imitation Game. Turing was supposedly autistic in the film and had a terrible time being abused / treated poorly by others. One quote from the film is particularly memorable in the context of feeling good about one's uniqueness: "Sometimes it is the people who no one imagines anything of who do the things that no one can imagine."

You are correct. True born psychopaths are relatively rare.
However, there is something called the proto-psychopath.
They are either normal or have a few psychopathic traits, and can adopt a great many psychopathic traits giving the right environment. Sometimes all it takes is the introduction of a group dynamic to trigger a proto-psychopath.
I have seen it.

To get a better idea of what I'm talking about there are some good youtube videos you can check out.
Look up "Asch Conformity", "Milgram Experiment", and "Stanford Prison Experiment"

Yeah, the whole nasty "us against them" kind of attitude. It doesn't help when organizations like Autism Speak$ essentially paint us as the "targets"; the situation is already bad enough when aspie kids can't really function at all in the factory-model environment, and their "accommodations", make the game hunt much more obvious.

In the end, when there is such large-scale conformity taking place, people want to make sure they fit in, at all costs.

In my experience, most of the bullies are doing just fine..... in sales. They all have trophy wives and houses while I am forced to give up my apartment because it is getting too expensive. THAT'S what eats me up inside: nothing bad has happened to most of them. If I knew one of them had terminal cancer or suffered a horrific accident I would be much happier. Granted, one did get swarmed randomly and beaten up by 10 teenagers for no reason (they didn't even take any money) and I have to admit it is reassuring to see karma bite him in the butt and learn how it felt to be on the receiving end of a senseless attack.

What's ironic is that I am a semi-jock now and NOBODY has ever treated me with nothing but the utmost respect, even the ones in University or College. Makes me wonder if I was just born in the wrong year?

I thought the stanford prison experiment was identical to panopticon until i looked it up. Thanks for the read,
Human behaviour and everyone's potentional 'inner psychopath' is really fascinating.

Fascinating and very disturbing.
In the original Matrix movie they said that every ordinary person in the matrix is a potential agent.
All it takes is the right algorithm, or system intelligence to change them.

I just finished reading the Stanford Experiment. Harrowing stuff.

Partly helps explain why autistic people get so bullied so much.

I suggest you also read about the "uncanny valley" effect as well.
It's probably more of a factor in how we get treated differently from childhood.

Those topics both sound very interesting.

I was bullied throughout elementary school. I had a frenemy in kindergarten. I was teased due to my hair not looking nice, not wearing the right clothes, not knowing how to talk around others. There was an incident with a toilet that I tried to fix, so I think I got known as 'toilet girl' for a while (flooding toilet... class trip from hell).

Other times, I could not differentiate people trying to be kind from the bullies.

Workplace bullying happened but I am not that affected. People have tried having me fired on a few occasions. I survive.

Bullying in school by "frenemies" finally defined my behavior as an adult and thats what enrages me the most. These dumb kids have no concept of what type of damage they are doing to people due to the lack of 'big picture' thinking and the young feeling like they and their actions are meaningless because society has told them minors are are not truely apart of the world and therefore fail to effect it in any negative or positive way. It's sickening but unavoidable it seems.

Now I'm 35 and completely paralyzed by an obsessive need for approval from everyone around me. So much so I end up making everyone either not respect me or my opinions/choices...or....they completely hate me. Those that love me I have trained to hold be my hand and lead me to every decision and if I don't do what they want I'm ostracized and nagged at. All because I'm terrified by conflict and criticism. Approval is like a drug to me instantly releasing the craziest amount of endorphines and ridicule is basically like a kick in the sack.

How does anybody get over this? How do I find myself again without needed to be fed by compliments and good performance - even at a job where I'm the #1 salesman on the floor and worshipped by my peers as a success I get fired for failing to be professional and punctual!? It's completely the opposite of what is logical!? How do i fix that.

And how to i stop apologizing all the time.....being overly polite to avoid bad feelings when it's pointless?? Atgh I'm done gawd I'm so frustrated.....

Great stuff. Do you have anything more that i can read?

Send me a PM if you want

Except they have become successful, they usually do very well in the fields of business or engineering. Meanwhile the kid they all thought was better than them and therefore was excommunicated has a slew of mental problems now and is struggling to stay in college or remain alive period. All because people value someones ability to socialize above all else. If you can't talk then you must be a serial killer. That's why America is mostly a service based economy.

I don't even hate jocks, they were just children raised in a closed environment that was dominated by their parents beliefs.

I am a 51 year old man and only found out I have Aspergers within the last year. Society had very little toleration for people who were different and you were expected to conform. I started getting bullied in school starting in 4th grade, my teacher was the instigator a lot of the time. Daily physical and verbal harassment usually by more than one other kid. Getting slapped in the back of the head, kicked, tripped, knocking my books out of my hand, and laughed at by everyone when it happened were so routine that I mostly didn't react. Stuff like getting spit on, peed on in the shower or having someone speed by me in a car and come as close as they could to just missing hitting me, and actual fistfights were rarer. Most teachers would look the other way until I tried to defend myself then they would punish me. When I would try to fight back I would get ganged up on. It lasted all the way though high school. A couple times I complained to the school administration about different things and got blown off. Keep in mind this was around 1973-1982 and the world was a very different place. There was not really even any knowlege of AS at the time and pretty much no help available for people like me who were just odd. I was just a little boy when it started and had no clue why it was happening and sort of just figured that was the way things are. It sucked and affected a lot of my behavior in ways that I am still trying to figure out. Just reading here about all the people who had similiar experiences makes me feel less alone dealing with this. Thanks.

I've had similar things happen to me. I'm 54 years old.

Usually, the teachers blamed me.

Have you been bullied recently? If not, I would just chalk it up to childhood crap.

I was bullied for 13 years in school and got ganged up on numerous times. I had one kid try to strangle me a few times and even got tossed over a second floor railing. The same kid and his buddies kicked the life out of me twice that I know of. I wound up limping the whole school day after the second attack. Life was hell and the deep rooted mistrust of people in general has never gone away. I was abused physically, socially, and emotionally, just now I am getting over the damage it made.

I was bullied once in freshman year (12-13) at a high school in the Seattle area. There were two JV (now varsity of course) football players in my 5th period PE class and they were cruel a--hole jocks, African Americans by the way, who seemed to like to pick on me. They would cuss F-words and say s--t a lot to me when I didn't do the warm up exercises right, which made me very mad at them. They also "accidentally" knocked me to the ground during a soccer game, resulting in a nasty astro-turf burn on my leg that lasted about 4-6 days. Never hit or kicked them, but I came darn close to doing that. At the same time, my PE teacher was not really nice to the students - well, he required 9th graders to run a 5K by the end of the year. He coldly told me "just ignore them" a couple of times. Got all the way up to the assistant principal, but of course, This school absolutely CRAVES sports, so little or nothing was done to stop it. Thankfully I moved out of there to another school district 20 miles to the northeast by the start of 2013, so it was all over by then. But I still remember those idiots like it was a week ago. It's quite the school. Most of the population is jocks and preppy people, as I was in a rich city. I was living in a poor neighborhood in a rich city...did not really fit in that well to anyone. A few non-hang-out-friendly kids here and there and a couple of teachers were most if not all of the friends I had.

Have not been really bullied other than those moments in freshman year. The 2nd half of the year at the new school was the best times I had since probably 7th grade. Teachers and students were wonderful, knew I had AS/HFA, and treated me with lots of respect.