Things NTs do that appear rude

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That's understandable. I can't stand being interrupted when I'm in the middle of deep thought. Do you do the thing where when you're focused on something, and someone tries to talk to you, you ignore then until you reach a good stopping point? My youngest daughter does it too, and I had to explain to my fiance to just let her be. I told her, "She's listening, but she's focused right. Just give her a minute.".

The touching thing makes no sense to me. There is no excuse to ever touch a stranger. It's enough when my own family touches me, let alone someone I don't know . . .

Yeah, this might be moving a bit off topic but second to this comment- when I was out shopping for a new jacket a sales assistant exclaimed "Goodness me, you're so scrawny! You need to eat something!" and I smiled and laughed and said "oh well, I'll try!" because, of course. Friendly and happy is my default character when I don't know how to respond.

I walked away thinking, would they say "Goodness me, you're so big! You need to stop eating!" if they thought I was fat? Doubtful. Clear double standards. Just like that bass song by Natalie Trainor- not nice.

I hate when NT's have "in" jokes that involve gestures and slang/made up words, then when you ask what they mean they say "nothing nevermind" or they explain it but still don't tell you/spell out what the funny part is, while other NT person next to you "gets it" straight away.

To be fair, I think I am interrupted often because I speak in such a way that doesn't indicate when I'm continuing or stopping and I hate it but I can't help it. I used to record my speech to try and remedy it but no matter how hard I try I sound like a disembodied autobot or something. It's like odd micro pauses and an intonation thing. Conversely, I can't pick the right moments to "interrupt" when other people are speaking, especially in a group. And by group I mean more than one-on-one. Hence I am always the most boring person in the room and when I do get a chance to speak I'm always three topics behind since the conversation moved on so I sound like an out of sync idiot, also because I am also usually misinterpreted.

But really most of what NT's talk about is so common, vapid, opinionated and petty so who cares, let them eat cake.

Using the word "gay" in a derogatory fashion.

Last night I was making hamburgers, and my mom took it upon herself to toast buns. She burned them. I said I didn't want a burned bun and put another bun in the toaster, on the minimum setting. She insisted that the buns were fine and insisted that I use a burnt bun. I said I didn't want it as they were blackened and all hard and crunchy from being over toasted. She insisted and insisted. I said I didn't want to hear it and that she was making me nervous, but she kept insisting that I look at her as she demonstrated something about the buns and kept trying to grab my properly toasted bun and replace it with a burned bun. Finally I snapped and screamed "F*CK YOUR BURNT BULLSH*T BREAD!" and she got angry at me.

I feel like she totally caused me to freak out. This morning she's still really mad at me, and I tried to explain that you can't corner and antagonize someone with aspergers but she doesn't get it. She says I use my autism as an excuse. She pisses me off.

That seems to be a real issue with NTs regarding how they view autistic people. It seems when you're labelled with something as giant as "autism", they automatically make assumptions about you and everything gets labelled with that gigantic term. This causes MASSIVE misunderstanding. I mean, not all my issues are autism-related, because I am a human being with other functions, you know.

LOL



Well I think it is just asking for trouble to corner and antagonize anyone that way. It's completely normal to get pissed off at something like that. The only difference is, with some of us, it might be the intensity of how we react that makes people mad.

Expecting you to be understanding of their point of view while belittling your point of view.

I do that sometimes. It's because that person is new to me and maybe I can't remember their name or how to properly pronounce it.

If I saw (I'm a visual learner) how that name was spelled, then it'd be easier to call out their name.

I had a fellow student in middle school. Their surname was Pestrak or something like that. Well, we were both in Phys. Ed. together. and being guys, the teacher and other students would call each other by our surnames.

I couldn't hear properly whether that students surname was Pestrak or Testrak. So I didn't do either. Perhaps I pointed.

But if I saw his name on a list in the school someplace I would have instantly known how to pronounce his name.

Feeling entitled to pry into one's personal life and then passing judgement on it if it isn't normal enough, gossiping about it, and never letting it go. Or, making out that you're being rude by not letting them pry (because you know what happens).

I've also had the weird-lunch comments -- I'm allergic to wheat and brought food in tupperware. I think people do that as a proxy for complaining about you being weird in other ways. They don't have the guts to say "I think you're weird" directly so they pick at you in less direct ways.

This may be a non autistic thing, but not being able to keep any sense of composure while drunk. I know when I'm drunk, even very drunk, I get very friendly around people I know and am familiar with, but I still wouldn't interact with people I don't know or yell obscene things at them. I still have my internalized center that is intact, even though my outer sensory control is pretty wonk. It's an interesting thing I've noted this past year.

Yeah, it makes me uneasy when people do this. I mean, sometimes the person that they are gossiping about isn't even doing anything that's destructive or harmful so I just don't see why it would even matter. I usually don't feel comfortable telling people things about myself because of that.

It also really bothers me when people who barley even know you put a label on you based on how you look or act and then just treat you accordingly.

Staring at strangers. I'd thought NTs would know better, because nothing's more uncomfortable than having someone staring at you when you're not doing anything weird or not dressed oddly.

I can't help wondering if some people do this on purpose in order to create that precise effect....

This sounds like an 'invisible rule' type situation.
Possibly the rule is that in some cases it's ok to interrupt (or be interrupted) and in others it isn't.
With autistic people only tending to get feedback in situations where they interrupt when they shouldn't but not where they fail to interrupt when they should.
To NT's never interrupting may come over as 'aloof', 'anti-social', etc.
But, at least to me, not knowing when to interrupt can feel very frustrating.

I am yet to comprehend why it is that NTs feel the need to make derisive comments about their peers. What makes it all the more flabbergasting is that they seldom state such odious remarks in front of the target in question for the denunciation. Ostensibly it's a never-ending cycle of remorseless deceit.