Is everything that's wrong with you attributed to Aspergers

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I had a few thoughts recently after a conversation with my mom. She told me that if I didn't have this disease (yes I'm calling it a disease and f**k you for thinking it isn't), I'd;

- Be less afraid of failure
- Be more willing to get out there and work
- Connect with more people in society

The last few months have been hell for me with constant chest pains, breathing problems, etc. Add the constant sub zero temperatures for the whole month and you have yourself hell.

I'm already living a mediocre life by not doing much at all. Just sitting by my PC and browsing the internet.

What do you think about what my mom said? Is she right?

What do I have to gain by working a normal job other than money?

I'm sorry you have to have a mother like that. I prefer to think that a lot of things that are right with me are because of Asperger's, such as:

-Pays close attention to detail which shows in her crafts and artwork.
-Likes or doesn't mind being alone for longs periods (and where I live that's a real necessity)
-Knows what she does and doesn't like and is not afraid to say it.
-Isn't concerned about having to own the latest fashions or being into the latest trends.
-Does not get easily pressured into doing things i.e. peer pressure.
-Believes in telling the truth and honesty.
-Strong sense of justice.
-Is not into "gender roles" - enjoys certain activities that are usually thought to be only for males such as video games.

I struggle with each of these. They're indirectly attributable to my ASD, but directly attributable to my complex PTSD. I wouldn't have PTSD if I weren't autistic, but I also wouldn't have PTSD if neurotypicality wasn't predicated upon the brutalization of others, resulting in the institutionalization and torture of people who fail to meet neurotypical standards.

I agree with you about the causative agent being a disease. But the disease isn't autism, or the normal physiological response to severe and prolonged trauma. The disease is humanity.

Some of the things are just my personality and bad choices where at most Aspergers was one factor. Some things are really not wrong but I think they are because I internalized society's prejudices.

In your case I would not rule out Seasonal Affective Disorder
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/CON-20021047

I put up with a lot of that.

If it's not attributed to Asperger's, then it's attributed to depression and anxiety.

I don't know what to tell you.

Right now, what I tell myself is that I can't change it, so I have to accept it.

I do have all of those conditions, so they are probably right.

I do have all of those conditions, so what I feel, what I think, what I believe, what I think I need, and what I want is, basically, invalid.

Well first off...let people have their opinion, some people prefer not to use the term disease...but nothing wrong with you using that term most of the other terms do fall under that term anyways, at least they'd be mentioned as alternatives in a thesaurus to mean essentially the same thing. I just don't use the term becaue my brain always associates it with gross bacteria/parasitic virisus and stuff like that....so if I call it a condition or disability I don't get that visual.

As for the chest pains do you think there is a physical cause? like physical health problem...or could it be something like anxiety I sometimes get chest pains and trouble breathing especially the more anxious I am, but not sure its the same for you...if its just random it may be a good idea to try and see a doctor about it. It is quite possible to have other problems aside from aspergers...I think it is somewhat true you would connect better with people, since autism impairs social interaction but no idea about the other two since there are plenty of other things that can cause those feelings. depression, anxiety, getting burnt out too many times, being in a bad overly stressful situation, PTSD, and plenty of other things though aspergers can cause executive functioning difficulty which effects motivation.

But seriously think about if you just don't want to work or if you can't if you really are unable you don't have to solely depend on your family...apply for SSI, it comes with medicaid to help any healthcare costs and if you budget right you can even have a little money left over for whatever it is you enjoy. I know for a while I convinced myself I just didn't care and would find some other way aside from getting a job to get by but eventually I had to really evaluate, I mean I couldn't remain a college bum forever they would have found me out eventually. If you are able to work in a normal job I suppose gains aside from income would be something to keep you occupied for some of the time if you're prone to bordom(unless the job is boring than it probably does not help), more accepted in society(that's a stupid one but its true regardless of how much I hate it) and potential for social connections....but mostly its money people work for, they got bills to pay and stuff to buy, thus is consumerism.

I'm not good in advices but heres my comment/opinion on this;

Even NTs have those problems especially fear of failure, its actually the second most common fear among people after the fear of death, I feel lazy and with no motivation to do things but I try to force myself and eventually I get most things done, I don't connect well with people too but its because I don't like to, I don't have much experience in it but I think if you try you might make connections.

To be honest with you I don't see what the problem is.

If you were an aspie of my pre 1994 generation your parents would be telling you that "you have a whole long endless list of things that are wrong with you because...because...because...EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU... you're just a malingering sicko of bad character and of sick mind".

Today the parents of aspie kids will say "you have an endless list of things wrong with you because...you have ONE thing wrong with you-and everything else stems from that one thing- that fact you have aspergers" .

You would get s**t either way. But the later is more accurate, and less damaging s**t IMHO.

In my generation the more enlightened parents would send you to shrinks who try to 'cure' you of your "neurosis" through talk therapy (which of course impossible because the problem is neurology and not neurosis). The less enlightened would just verbally or physically abuse you in order to 'cure' you. Niether works ofcourse.

I was actually slightly joking when I said "I dont see the problem".

Your mom is putting a bad spin on it the way she states it. Sounds like she is a bit verbally abusive. So there IS a problem.

What she should be doing is saying "we all have to be aware that you are handicapped in certain ways in finding a job because you have aspergers. And we have to find ways to adapt to your aspergers to help you find a job". Something like that.

Anyways I think people these days should seriously relax and have a cup of a hot drink and not go ahead making a big fuss like that over something like a principle or a teacher saying something to their kids, like what is even wrong with you just go talk with the person who said something to your kid if you don't like it, they just said something to them, they didn't cut off a body part from your kid lol. How I hear those days people suing teachers for only shouting at their kids makes me laugh, people would seize that opportunity for suing which is obviously being for their own stupid benefits lol.
I also think if teachers or someone didn't tell something to kids doing useless things like that kids will turn out too spoiled and dumb like so many people those days, jeez, like let there be some rules at least so that people would learn and have some sense of responsibility. Rules are really essential.

Your f****d if you do and your f****d if you don't.

Your condition influences everything you do. Every choice you make, etc. It has to do with no motivation and pretty much everything. I just have to give in to my condition and let it control me as bad as it sounds because it IS me.

I don't know about you but everything that was wrong with me had less to do with my autism and more to do with my faulty thinking.

Nope, I've got plenty of other things too.

Learning problems in math, physics, chemistry

Concentration problems (possibly ADD or SCT)

Hypoactive

Possibly maladaptive daydreaming

asthma

allergies

difficult skin (dry among other things)

Genetically disposed to some things.

Easily stressed and overwhelmed, as well as anxious, might be due to AS.

Short.

Born with a deficiency I won't mention in detail.

1) Fear of failure is common trait found in many people and not autistic trait.
2) Not autistic trait.
3) This is most attributable to autism due to social cognition deficits in autism.

Well verbal abuse is not ok from teachers, it is fine for them to enforce the rules and doll out detentions or whatever punishments may be appropriate...but yeah I think a parent would have reason to sue if the teacher yelled at their kid and called them names or said they're just a useless person who can never amount to anything or things that could constitute verbal abuse. But of course sometimes there are over-reactions to when a teacher acts fairly as well...like parents yelling at a teacher because they think their kid should have got a higher grade just because its their child or something.

>.<I posted this in the wrong thread, I meant to post it in 'when people talk about something they know very little about'. I opened both threads at the same time but posted here instead of there accidenty
Eh I won't mind it much if a teacher shouted at me if it wasn't an insult like you just mentioned, I saw many parents overreact too like argue and shout with teachers which I think is wrong.

^ I've made that mistake before, too. I posted a serious response to some tea/coffee thread by mistake. I managed to edit it but it would've been funny if it stayed there permanently.

Any way, back to the discussion. In my case I think most things that are wrong with me seem to be the results of autism, directly or indirectly. I wouldn't say everything, but most.