How to say "I don't want to talk to you", politely

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I take my dog to the same park every day for his walk. You get to know dogs from the local area as it's usually the same people depending on what time of day you go. There's one dog (and her owner) who I don't mind talking to. Our dogs love each other and I know a bit about the owners, so I can cope with making chit chat with them, and we usually just watch the dogs play.

But there's this woman who I've seen a few times (I recognise people by their dogs though, not by the people themselves) who has a dog which is the same breed as mine. She keeps trying to talk to me because our dogs are the same breed. That's about all we have in common. She's about 55-65 and we've spoken about the dogs in the park before. As far as I'm concerned there's nothing left to talk about.

Just now, in the park, I walked past a group of other dog owners who were standing round chatting. She was in the group, and I heard them say my dog's name and discuss what sub-breed within the breed he was. I carried on walking because I had my headphones on, which I use to avoid people talking to me. The woman kept looking at me and I think she wanted to ask me about my dog. Then later on, I saw her walking across the park towards me. I changed course and she did as well. I ended up walking near her but didn't look at her in case she tried to talk to me. She said something to my dog, but I couldn't hear it because I had my headphones on and music playing.

How do I say to her "I don't care about your ugly dog and I don't want to talk to you." (what I'm actually thinking) in a more polite way? People not wanting to talk to you is very offensive to most people I think.

In a situation like this, unfortunately, I do not believe that there is any way to say "I don't walk to talk to you, period." The most you could do is continually make excuses as to why you can't talk to her. Unless you humor her, she is going to perceive you as being rude - all you can change is how rude she will see you as being. After a couple of times of you saying you "cannot talk to her at this now," she should take a hint.

Unfortunately, there really is nothing you can do if she is persistent. The socially acceptable thing to do would be to keep dropping hints - don't seem interested in any conversation, don't appear invested, make it seem like you have something else you have to do. I've dealt with people like this before - saying "I don't want to talk to you" only creates unnecessary bitterness and is taken as a personal offense. This is a difficult situation. I hope you and the lady escape unscathed.

I just look away and make up a totally lame excuse like need to make a text or something....
If they still dont get the hint I glare at them intensely without talking till they become uncomfortable, then walk off in silence.

No need to be polite if they are unable to guage your feelings

I have found that speaking openly and forthrightly doesnt really work with NT's




so I imitate their behaviours now....

Change the park or pretend that you don't hear anything. Eventually buy some bigger headphones to let her see that you can't hear.
Or pretend that you are talking to the phone. She will get bored.

most nt's will become offended in some degree upon being rejected, even for a trivial amount of small talk. that is to be expected. when it is important, for your own personal reasons of comfort or peace or maintaining your tolerant level of stimulation, being forthright might seem rude but might be acceptable by both parties if done in a way that is both understandable and not insulting. granted, that does not mean the person will not be a bit offended, but you may figure some way to say it that the person will think about later and realize that you meant nothing bad but were taking care of your own well-being.
i've told people, "i'm sorry, but i'm not here to socialize.", and, "please excuse me, but i come here to be alone (you can add, 'with my dog') and relax/think/unwind.", and, "i don't mean to be rude but i do not feel to talk today".
remember to use the body language of turning away while saying something. if you don't, most people will continue the conversation until you do.
it is a good for you to protect your own peace of mind.

Most people feel offended when they feel they've been rejected. That's a pretty universal human trait.

I think you are doing the right things. Wearing earphones. Not standing near to her. Etc.

I think you should not go out of your way to hurt her feelings (like being intentionally rude in what you say to her), because I think people--NT and ASD alike--should do their best to be respectful of one another. That being said, you are not obligated to have conversations with her. To minimize this, continue to do what you are doing, when she asks you a question, answer with as few words as you can, do not ask her any questions, check your watch or look at your cellphone (if you have one), and if you need to, simply tell her that your dog walking time is your alone time and you really prefer to just relax and spend time by yourself. I usually do things like wear obvious earphones or read a book in situations like this so people will know not to bug me. But some people don't really notice those signals and try to talk to you anyway. Extroverted people sometimes do not realize that not everyone wants to have conversations all the time. Because they naturally do, they assume everyone else does too, or that they are "helping" introverted people because they tend to think that deep down, we really want to be extroverted, but just don't know how to be. LOL! If only they knew how glad I am NOT to be extroverted! LOL!

I agree totally every time I tell someone outright that I don't want to talk to them they just laugh and say that I'm a funny person and then carry on talking. It's horrible! Instead I just ignore them and they give up eventually

I have found that COMPLETE honesty does work.

I have stated, in situations like this, "Listen...I have a form of autism, as such, I don't know how to interact with you on the level you are proposing. I have tried to do so, but I find that, in this situation, this makes me uncomfortable. It would be best if we didn't interact. Thank you for your time and understanding."

It works... they get offended, but it is polite, establishes boundaries, and puts the onus of responsibility on them

That does sound quite useful but I don't like telling people about Autism. I don't know why but I just don't like doing it would it work if the first bit wasn't said?

If you do not wish to speak to this person, you can tote along a book or smartphone and whip it out while meandering with the dog to make it look like you're preoccupied. Another option is to be horribly rude , make up new excuses, ignore her, or be completely honest about why you do not wish to engage in conversation with her.

There isn't a polite way to say "I don't care about your ugly dog and I don't want to talk to you." I mean its not like people are trying to cause you harm by talking to you. If you really want her to not try to talk to you might as well just say what I quoted, that would probably do the trick.

But I have to wonder what the dog did for you to call it ugly, and why you have such a rude opinion of this person simply for talking to you and not having a whole lot in common. Its possible to talk to people you don't really want to for a minute or two and then maybe change topics or say you have something to do. But its a little extreme to expect people to just never talk to you.

You could just say "I'm autistic and I don't like (and/or am not very good at) small talk....sorry" if you feel comfortable saying this. Don't say "I don't want to talk to you about your ugly dog"

Most people just say "cool story bro" when they really do not care about what someone speaking to them has to say. In your case, however, I would recommend trying to find out what causes the woman to seek conversation from you. Maybe she has some kind of underlying issue or just needs a friend. Writing her off a just another jabber-jaw may not be the appropriate course of action.

I usually just say something like, "I'm sorry, but I have to go now," or, "I have something I need to go do."

The dog didn't do anything, but it is pretty ugly. I'd be more inclined to talk to someone with a cute dog because I'm more interested in the dog.

I've talked to this woman before, many times. She's very stuck up and has made comments about "people who live over there" (there's one side of the park which is very posh and the other side, where I live, which she was referring to without knowing I live there), she just talks about crufts and how her dog comes from winners. She's just not a pleasant person to talk to. I don't expect people to not talk to me, I just like to avoid it because it makes me incredibly anxious.

Hmmm, that is a problem. I would say to an elderly woman something like, "my, you have nice big titties, can I squeeze them?". It's not an insult, but it will make her avoid you in the future, plus it's a bit of a complement.