Trying to get to the point, 360 style

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Photon
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29 Mar 2007, 11:45 am

Whenever I explain to somebody a previous situation or ask a question regarding something that is considered complex or non self explanatory I can never get to the point without including every little detail and how it relates to the subject.
I don't know if its just me but I never seem to understand the process of forms or verbal instructions without asking questions and being able to understand accuratly the task.
Filling in forms is another problem area, most of the time I pck up on things that have similar meanings or I'd find a question that although may be understandable doesn't include a particular box that doesn't best describe my situation. When I point this obvious mistake, sometimes they understand my point and sometimes they find an answer even when I don't.

My most common problem is the inability to explain things without detail and the need to re-alliterate words/events with similar meaning to avoid confusion or offense. If you have watched 'the BBC league of gentleman' and recognise the episode in which a man is talking to a blind man and re-interprets his words to avoid offense, while all the while making it worse, then you will understand my point.
I just can't seem to describe a story/event without describing it from the very start and right through to the end, I don't know whether it is a personal habit or an aspie trait.

As mentioned previously before, some people visualise what they say, when I describe my 'long' brief story I visualise the story and read it out while blissfully unaware of the person listening and length of lobe tape.
I'd be talking away with my eyes fixed to the wallpaper pattern giving away personal information without knowing just becuase I tell my unedited story from my eyes perspective. Just don't ask me about my bank problems, :lol:

I think some of my posts explain my point well, I'm not a talker or a socialiser but when I expain or tell my story then describing it is what I do!

How about you?



Aspie_for_the_Lord
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29 Mar 2007, 11:51 am

i can relate to this....it can be a pain at times...


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Arbie
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29 Mar 2007, 12:36 pm

Yes, I can have some of those problems. I have learned to sometimes shorten things to get down to the point but usualy after I have said or wrote something and have thought about it for a while, and judging what others seem to have understood my point to be, versus what it was intended to be.

I also like very precise instructions. I think this is an issue that is just made worse by being an Aspie, and isn't an Aspie issue by its self. Some people are just very bad at instructing others.



Sedaka
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29 Mar 2007, 12:49 pm

think that's why ppl will never understand what i'm thinking... caues they don't even want the whole perspective.

i come out of my yammering stupors to see the person looking exhasted and i kinda just wrap it up at that point caues i can tell they either arent interested or don't see how it relates to my point.


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crazedchef
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29 Mar 2007, 3:57 pm

Sedaka wrote:
think that's why ppl will never understand what i'm thinking... caues they don't even want the whole perspective.

i come out of my yammering stupors to see the person looking exhasted and i kinda just wrap it up at that point caues i can tell they either arent interested or don't see how it relates to my point.



Hello,

So True!

All of my jobs they have always wanted me to teach others. Never could because I could not explain the actual amount of thought that i have always put into my jobs, no matter what I was doing, sometimes thinking about better ways to do the task at hand in the middle of the night. It is impossible to exlplain that YOUR mind races a mile a minute and you see in pictures; like a VCR running in your head all of the time, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?

crazedchef



SteveK
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29 Mar 2007, 5:58 pm

Photon wrote:
Whenever I explain to somebody a previous situation or ask a question regarding something that is considered complex or non self explanatory I can never get to the point without including every little detail and how it relates to the subject.
I don't know if its just me but I never seem to understand the process of forms or verbal instructions without asking questions and being able to understand accuratly the task.
Filling in forms is another problem area, most of the time I pck up on things that have similar meanings or I'd find a question that although may be understandable doesn't include a particular box that doesn't best describe my situation. When I point this obvious mistake, sometimes they understand my point and sometimes they find an answer even when I don't.

My most common problem is the inability to explain things without detail and the need to re-alliterate words/events with similar meaning to avoid confusion or offense. If you have watched 'the BBC league of gentleman' and recognise the episode in which a man is talking to a blind man and re-interprets his words to avoid offense, while all the while making it worse, then you will understand my point.
I just can't seem to describe a story/event without describing it from the very start and right through to the end, I don't know whether it is a personal habit or an aspie trait.

As mentioned previously before, some people visualise what they say, when I describe my 'long' brief story I visualise the story and read it out while blissfully unaware of the person listening and length of lobe tape.
I'd be talking away with my eyes fixed to the wallpaper pattern giving away personal information without knowing just becuase I tell my unedited story from my eyes perspective. Just don't ask me about my bank problems, :lol:

I think some of my posts explain my point well, I'm not a talker or a socialiser but when I expain or tell my story then describing it is what I do!

How about you?


I used to do this all the time, and I still do to a degree.

Steve



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29 Mar 2007, 9:36 pm

i know what you mean dog. i have to go tomorrow to fill out a bunch of paperwork to get my utilities turned on, in my house so i can move in on the first. paperwork sucks



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30 Mar 2007, 11:27 pm

For a while I had a "sort of" friend who was a nilper and always trying to use NLP on me. He would ask some question of great import (All questions are oglf great import in NLP - lol) and wait for an answer.

But shortly I would hit some bit of data that I thought would have to be explained or amplified. So I step into a sidebar to accomplish that.

He would stop the answer. Then he would accuse me of being a "distracter" - someone who confuses the issue so to keep him from doing his powerful work. I suppose he never heard of Asperger's!


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EarthCalling
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31 Mar 2007, 12:05 am

Quote:
I just can't seem to describe a story/event without describing it from the very start and right through to the end, I don't know whether it is a personal habit or an aspie trait.


Definately an "aspie" traitl. I do this, my son does too. It is very frustrating!



calandale
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31 Mar 2007, 1:35 am

I wonder off on side tracks as well. And then, after some 10 min diversion, come right back to where I was.



Beammeup
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31 Mar 2007, 1:52 am

Yes... I understand. "Big picture" thinking can be a pain, and I dislike filling out forms too. Perhaps it is the fact Aspies are very literal when it comes to forms and writing, other stuff. I get hung-up on questions and check-boxes that don't relate to the situation. I'm detailed, and like things exact. When it comes to explaining someting, well, what's that ol' cliche' ? "A picture is worth a thousand words". I like my picture thinking, just wish other's could understand it better. I spent many years feeling down about myself because I didn't understand this thing call Asperger's. Literally depressed at times. Trust me when I say it will get easier with age. Regards....


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calandale
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31 Mar 2007, 3:20 am

Better maybe, but never very good. I have to be really careful about this when teaching. My students are convinced that I'm crazy, the way I go about explaining things.



Beammeup
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01 Apr 2007, 3:52 am

calandale wrote:
Better maybe, but never very good. I have to be really careful about this when teaching. My students are convinced that I'm crazy, the way I go about explaining things.


Yes, you're so right. Perhaps relative for me, understanding and vocabulary are better, but that does not prevent the need to be careful. My kids sometimes think I'm crazy.


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