Autism Traits Intensifying with Diagnosis

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My five year old son got his ASD diagnosis last summer, and since a while before then I've started suspecting I am on the autism Spectrum myself. I've done lots of Autism/Aspie online tests now, and have surprised myself by the huge list of my own traits and it seems really obvious to me now that I too have Autism.
But I've also noticed that these traits are stressing me out so much more than they ever did before, (I'm 39) and I'm finding my ability to tolerate really getting worse.

My question is would this intensifying of traits after self diagnosis be normal? Or would this show that I'm loosing my marbles? And just being influenced by all the stuff I'm reading and watching. I can't stop watching and reading stuff about Autism.... It's like it's become my special interest.

This does happen often.

It may be you were unaware of your autistic behaviors beforehand and now you are hyperaware of them.
I think it is hard not to be influenced when you find out about a basic part of yourself previously unknown. Consciously or subconsciously maybe you don't want to fake being typical anymore so more of your real self comes forward. This is not always a bad thing passing as someone you are not is very mentally taxing.

I would advise not just concentrating on the negative traits but the positive ones.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 14 Mar 2015, 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am not certain if it is relevant, but I wrote this, Becoming More Aware Of Symptoms Following Diagnosis <click>, just after being diagnosed.

^ 100% agree.

Possibly an additional aspect that kicks in is the self-fulfilling prophecy - children are sensitive to both the positive and negative expectations of their parents. Did diagnosis change your attitude and expectations in any significant ways?

That's an interesting question B19. But I'm puzzled by the idea of 'self fullfilling prophecy'. That implies that we've let our son be autistic, by agreeing to a pedestrian referral etc?

I've always felt a intuitive connection with my son. At first I thought it was some kind of psychic bond, because we seemed to be able to read and predict each other. Then I started feeling hugely averse to his squashing and touching me. And that's when I realised....I then I noticed all the other areas where I'm tactile defensive, and all the other sensory things I have had throughout my life. And then I realised were sharing very similar triggers.

I've done a lot of meditation and yoga in my life, but not at all over the last two years. I really believe mediation and yoga can help a lot to integrate Sensory Processing difficulties, so maybe that's why Im feeling things more at the moment....I don't know.

Thanks for the link to your thread Rocket123. It looks like many people go through a very similar thing discovering patterns of behaviour under the new lense of ASD. I'm definitely glad I'm not the only one.

I am wondering if tolerance levels vary according to health and wellbeing? I'd hate to persue an official diagnosis to then find these traits nolonger effect me when/if I'm in better health, fitness or less sleep deprived etc.

I continually to be amazed at how much "of me" (how I process things and relate to the world, my behaviors, etc.) can be explained by ASD. Without a doubt, this is something I am much more cognizant of since first learning about Asperger's.

My bad, I misread your opening post (sorry). Please ignore the earlier comment I made. (No self-fulfilling prophecy at all - in my haste it seemed like you thought your son's traits were intensifying after diagnosis, not yours!

I hate to say it, but I'm getting a strong feeling that what you're feeling is anger----anger at not knowing, at a younger age (and maybe you could've not had such difficulties in learning, or whatever), anger at having to endure all the "punishment" (maybe from yourself and others), anger that no one told you / tested you / whatever, before..... I also think that might be why you don't like it when your son touches you, now----maybe you're sub-consciously angry at him, because before his diagnosis your life was just fine, and you never dreamed that HIS diagnosis would make YOU have to look in "the mirror"...... I'm thinking your head might just be spinning, right-about-now, and you're (in your head) saying: "Why, why, why.....?", and you're extremely unhappy about this "upset-ment", in your life, right now.....

I think its quite common to become hyperaware of your autistic traits as you learn more about the disorder - there's something surreal about realizing that things you've done every day of your life, that just seemed like personal traits and quirks before, are actually SYMPTOMS of a NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER.

I certainly knew that my constant swaying from side to side, or rocking back and forth from heel-to-toe, were not "normal" for everybody else, but I'd done them all my life, so they seemed "normal" for me. It was psychologically overwhelming the first time I read that those behaviors had a specific name "Stims" and they were the result of BRAIN DAMAGE. I've got a higher than average IQ, how could I possibly have BRAIN DAMAGE? But eventually, I came to accept that that's exactly what it is. Something that occurred in utero, caused me to develop a hyperabundance of sensory neuroreceptors. A congenital brain defect.

I remember vividly the first year or so after being diagnosed, I became so intensely aware of my social deficits that I experienced a significant dissociation every time I left the house to run errands or grocery shop, as though I were standing outside my body, watching interactions take place, rather than being an active participant. At times I experienced selective mutism (like Raj on Big Bang), when my brain literally flatlined and I could not speak because I simply momentarily lost the ability to access the language portion of my brain (and I made my living talking for 30 years). Now, I had experienced these things before, but I suppose over the years, I had developed enough coping mechanisms to work around them, or learned to ignore them, but even now, six years after diagnosis, I am acutely aware of the awkwardness in a way that I was once relatively oblivious to. The symptoms aren't any different, I just know what they are, so I notice them in a way I didn't before. If I'm honest with myself, I can recall multiple specific examples of each and every one of these handicaps from throughout my life. They're not new, they're just labeled now.

As for the intensity varying with health and well-being - absolutely. My ability to power through and essentially ignore a lot of the daily hurdles of autism diminishes greatly when I am tired, anxious or depressed. The more exhausted and stressed I get, the more impossible it becomes for me to cope and that's what will eventually lead to a complete emotional meltdown. The brain's processors can only juggle the data overload for so long before the cables start to smoke and the robot breaks down.

Will@rd - Um - There was a user named Willard who used to frequent WP. His name, occupation, age and location are remarkably similar to yours. Are you the same person and are you back? If so, welcome back. Count me as one person in this odd, wacky world who missed reading your posts. I hope you are back, for good.

I myself wonder if he that that "Willard" who had similar knowledge of view of Autism and worked in radio. Profile says age 45 but that is a software bug.

^^ This. You're just becoming more aware.

I think there's a difference between symptoms intensifying and becoming more aware of your symptoms.

In fact, I don't think we really become more aware of our symptoms, we just become more are aware that they are symptoms and not normal behaviors. If your symptoms are intensifying, you probably don't have Autism. Well, at least as it's related to your son's diagnosis, anyway.

They can intensify under extreme stress, change in environment, things like that. But if you're just sitting at your computer reading that Autistic people have special interests, then suddenly you develop a strong special interest, I'd say you're influencing yourself.

If you don't have it, I think maybe your belief that you do has comes from some desire to "stay with" (can't think of a better word there) and protect your son. Maybe you are (rightfully) concerned about him being on this journey without a fellow traveler.

There are, as you now know, many symptoms that are hallmarks of Autism, but I think the one constant is if you have had social deficits that have impacted your life profoundly. That doesn't mean you have to be living in a basement reading comic books, but I think if you have them you will know what I mean.

This webpage talks about the experience of intensifying (or perceived as intensifying) autistic symptoms.