Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

rugulach
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 282

13 Apr 2015, 6:30 pm

...when it comes to autistics.



Last edited by rugulach on 13 Apr 2015, 6:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Apr 2015, 6:31 pm

At times, this is true. At other times, it's not true.



DailyPoutine1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2015
Age: 24
Posts: 2,278
Location: Province of Québec, Canada

13 Apr 2015, 6:37 pm

I've known one or two who were nice to me



graduate122
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 29 Dec 2014
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 84

13 Apr 2015, 6:49 pm

It enrages me severely that a lot of social cues and such don't apply to me and other aspies. As mentioned in an earlier post, they really hold me to a much harder standard.



will@rd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 709

13 Apr 2015, 6:55 pm

rugulach wrote:
...when it comes to autistics.


Nobody has much empathy with autistics, including other autistics, because empathy means the ability to read and respond to nonverbal social cues, and we give virtually none. We have little facial expression, rarely gesticulate and do not maintain eye contact, therefore its almost impossible for others to even guess what we're thinking, much less know it intuitively.

If you mean sympathy, no, NTs have no sympathy for us because they have no idea what we're experiencing, as it has never happened to them.


_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out." - Bill Hicks


rugulach
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 282

13 Apr 2015, 7:25 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
At times, this is true. At other times, it's not true.


What are the times when it is not true?



rugulach
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 282

13 Apr 2015, 7:28 pm

will@rd wrote:
rugulach wrote:
...when it comes to autistics.


Nobody has much empathy with autistics, including other autistics, because empathy means the ability to read and respond to nonverbal social cues, and we give virtually none. We have little facial expression, rarely gesticulate and do not maintain eye contact, therefore its almost impossible for others to even guess what we're thinking, much less know it intuitively.

If you mean sympathy, no, NTs have no sympathy for us because they have no idea what we're experiencing, as it has never happened to them.


I believe you have missed the point of my post.



darkphantomx1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Feb 2015
Age: 30
Posts: 1,293

13 Apr 2015, 8:04 pm

If people don't like you, it's probably because you have some bad trait about yourself. Not necessarily being autistic.

Maybe you're an a**hole, or maybe when someone tries talking to you, you come off as unfriendly. Heres a tip, if you want people to like you, be friendly back to them. When someone says hi to you, you don't say wtf do you want?! or you pretend like you're better then they are. Iv'e known plenty of HFA guys who have this problem and no one likes them and no it's not because they're autistic, it's because they come off as cold and rude to other people.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Apr 2015, 8:11 pm

In response to Rugulach:

I have found that some NT's really respect the autistic viewpoint, and feel they could learn from that approach. I've had people try to "help" me in some respects pertaining to being social. There are times when I feel respected for my oddness, actually--my ability to "be myself." They might feel empathy/sympathy if I make a social faux pas, and I get lambasted for it. They might "take up for me."

Not all NT's are cut from the same cloth, just like not all autistic people are cut from the same cloth.



rugulach
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 282

13 Apr 2015, 8:45 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
If people don't like you, it's probably because you have some bad trait about yourself. Not necessarily being autistic.

Maybe you're an as*hole, or maybe when someone tries talking to you, you come off as unfriendly. Heres a tip, if you want people to like you, be friendly back to them. When someone says hi to you, you don't say wtf do you want?! or you pretend like you're better then they are. Iv'e known plenty of HFA guys who have this problem and no one likes them and no it's not because they're autistic, it's because they come off as cold and rude to other people.


Ha ha...If I was a NT, your post is exactly the kind that would make me think you're an a$$hole. :lol:



rugulach
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 282

13 Apr 2015, 8:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In response to Rugulach:

I have found that some NT's really respect the autistic viewpoint, and feel they could learn from that approach. I've had people try to "help" me in some respects pertaining to being social. There are times when I feel respected for my oddness, actually--my ability to "be myself." They might feel empathy/sympathy if I make a social faux pas, and I get lambasted for it. They might "take up for me."

Not all NT's are cut from the same cloth, just like not all autistic people are cut from the same cloth.


This is a case where people know you closely and know you're autistic. Even here, I'd have to wonder how much of it is sympathy/being helpful/curious rather than true empathy.



Waterfalls
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,075

13 Apr 2015, 8:50 pm

rugulach wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
At times, this is true. At other times, it's not true.


What are the times when it is not true?

I think like for most people, they have empathy when there is overlap of experiences.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Apr 2015, 8:57 pm

Absolutely, Waterfall.

Whether autistic or NT.



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

13 Apr 2015, 9:14 pm

rugulach wrote:
...when it comes to autistics.

That makes some sense. Hard to empathise with someone who experiences the world in a different way to you.



rugulach
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 282

13 Apr 2015, 9:51 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
rugulach wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
At times, this is true. At other times, it's not true.


What are the times when it is not true?

I think like for most people, they have empathy when there is overlap of experiences.


They're not autistic experiences though.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Apr 2015, 9:55 pm

Sometimes, they are.

Temple Grandin had autistic experiences when she invented a humane way of vaccinating animals.

There are people who empathize with animals who are dealt with inhumanely, and there are people who empathize with those who experience being shunned because they are autistic.

In this case, there is "double empathy."

The fact that she invented the humane way of vaccinating animals provided inspiration for them to empathize with her because of her childhood with autism. There are many misunderstandings in childhood, even among NT children.