scripting and social failure

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I have observed in real life and here that autistic people have a tendency to plan excessively. Also, I have observed this in myself. I will think about an upcoming event that I am nervous about and try to plan it out in my head. Of course, the reality is never what I had thought it would be.
It seems to me that a lot of my social disappointment comes from anxiety occurring when reality meets my plans. So that the unexpected becomes doubly so.

Scripting is a useful tool to learn socialization. But do we sometimes take it too far ... to where it becomes a burden?

It could be. Scripting is very restrictive. It does not lend itself to flexibility.

It leads to anxiety and disappointment too. And inflexibility for sure.

I don't do scripting, it is too stressful to plan what I am going to say and do, I would rather look like idiot in public.

It depends on the diagnosis.. for me I can be flexible but only if I tell myself something like OK these next few moments prepare for anything and if its outside my daily routine after I wake up..SO I script my self to be flexible. In the next coming months I'm going to attend a get together and am already preparing myself that I wont be doing my daily routine for that set amount of time, perhaps more if something happens.

But yeah for me I plan for EVERYTHING!!..I try to step out of scripting but I simply cant, because of I did I feel the world may explode.. last time I did I was little and was completely bouncing off the walls with ADHD and couldn't focus on a thing. So I script myself as a way to focus. It sucks because I plan on everything but I cant help it. It became my nature.

I script pretty much automatically and habitually, but its usually a useless preparation, because reality never follows my scripts, even when I've practiced more than one. Sometimes it helps a little, in that I may have a response or two prepared so I don't sit there processing in the moment, looking like an idiot, but there's always the unexpected you could never have planned for and truth be told, 90% of the time, the reality isn't as critical as I feared or as negative as I expected. Still, I plan for the worst, just in case. I hate being blindsided.

You explained it better than I can for my situaiton lol...I'm pretty much what you said, except i'm a little more on the critical/autistic side..not sure what the right word for it is but yeah..

I have many scripts, but i only use them in casual cases, like when grocery shopping or curtesy to the conductor in the train.
When i'm in an actual social situation, i try to keep script usage to a minimum (although i have some smaller sub-scripts if need be, including excuses for leaving the situation if/when i get overwhelmed)

I didn't know that what I was doing could be called scripting, many people discuss the same topics over and over, but the content varies, mine does not, so it is not useful for ongoing relationships. Conversations with random people whom I won't meet again are recycled and re used for the next similar situation, with minor alterations.

For real social situations I don't plan a script, but I think about conversation themes, eg work, kids, family, what details I know about these people, recent/upcoming vacations/events/topical conversation etc. and remember brief key points about these topics to say and ask questions about, most people like to talk about themselves, and I prefer to listen.

Same here. Prior to a social meeting I think up a bunch of possible topics that are appropriate to the person.

I do it involuntarily sometimes, but I try to do not.
Planning things ahead can be useful, but most of the times I do not have enough control over the situation to make it happen exactly as I imagined. And considering how bad I am with situations that doesn't go off as I expect it is actually better if I do not make this kind of plans at all (not always, of course).

Scripting causes me anxiety because it forces me to dwell on the upcoming stuff. I rather not dwell on it & save that anxiety for when I'm in the situation sense scripting never goes as planned for me anyways.

There's no sense in having a script when you're not even on the same page. Or chapter. Or volume. Or genre.
In fact, I behave pretty much the same way in social situations as I behave in the library. Everyone's crowded around the New Fiction section and I'm in the back corner by myself with the 1986 edition of the Earth Garden Building Book.

That's funny, I use scripting because I find it too stressful to try and figure out in the moment what I'm going to say. It's much more reassuring to know that I have a few pre-determined lines or phrases to use when I need them. I really just need to work on delivery so they sound more natural. I know that my scripted greeting, "Hello I'm StarTrekker it's very nice to meet you" doesn't always sound as normal as it should because I'm so anxious that I rush it and it comes out "HelloI'mStarTrekkerit'sverynicetomeetyou." The fact that I can't look at people as I say it also lends a peculiar quality to the whole affair. Strange as it comes across to others though, I definitely find scripting useful, even if it is somewhat socially limiting. It's less limiting than my never going out due to fear of not knowing what to say.

I plan a lot for things like going to appointments, but I don't script conversations. My working memory is barely sufficient to remember my own scripts, and once the social anxiety gets added to that, there's no more room in my mind for anything I may have scripted.

The only social situations for which I script are telephone calls, and I only bother to plan the first sentence or two I'll say immediately after the other party answers the phone. I know that I can't predict what will happen after that.

I often find myself envisioning scenarios of upcoming events about which I am anxious. Possible ways the situation can go. Events never go as I think they will though. I try to stop myself from doing this because it makes me anxious.