How to survive school, the real truth..

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spiritnja
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07 Jun 2015, 5:17 am

Why don't parents teach their kids the real essentials to making it through school? - learn how to stand up for yourself, - learn how to fight, - learn how to talk trash...for real. If all you got is these they'll get far. There would be hardly any suicides from bullying, or kids shooting up their school, I'll tell you that much..then if they just actually study then they'll be golden. There's a difference between being good at it and actually doing it in a situation where it isn't appropriate. And there is a big difference between the defensive use of force, and using violence, but I think it's better for kids get all of this aggression out at a younger age when they can't do much damage yet, than when they're older. It's called stop being sheep, and start being lions..



awsamb
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07 Jun 2015, 10:28 am

spiritnja wrote:
It's called stop being sheep, and start being lions..

Not everyone can be lions. If everyone were a lion, then there would have to be some that were weaker, which would then become the sheep.

And i think most of the things you've listed come naturally to NTs. I don't know about all people with AS, but I learn best when people say things verbally to me. I'm awful at learning things by experience, which I don't believe it true for neurotypicals.



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07 Jun 2015, 9:23 pm

Shouldn't we love others?

Hate leads to more hate. So why continue to hate? This is why modern religion is failing. We need to learn how to love even those we hate.


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MudoMan
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07 Jun 2015, 9:34 pm

I agree with the orignal poster above, but I disagree with the 2 people who replied.

First of all let's keep religion out of this. This has nothing to do with religion. Seems like atheists blame religion for every freaking thing that have a problem with even if it has nothing to do with religion. It is like their superstition. "Oh something bad happened??! It must have been the religion monster!!"

Anyway, I believe kids should be tought to be strong, toughen u, work hard, stand up for themselves, learn how to fight for self defense only, taught right from wrong. taught to stand up for the weak and morality and other things kids lack today.

For me I was bullied all the time and never had any real friends. Yet I also stood up for myself. I believe martial arts helped me in my life and I recommend studying a martial art to give you strength and self control.

This is not about beating people up and hurting them worse, it is simply to have self respect and some honor and to not let people defeat you. So many bullies and other jerks in the world try to take people like us out. While life is painful we need to be strong enough to endure it. This would save a lot of people from suicide as well as keep peoples anger and hate under control so they dont shoot up a building or murder someone.



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07 Jun 2015, 9:38 pm

I feel that all kids should be taught gentleness and how to love everybody.


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07 Jun 2015, 10:03 pm

MudoMan wrote:
I agree with the orignal poster above, but I disagree with the 2 people who replied.

First of all let's keep religion out of this. This has nothing to do with religion. Seems like atheists blame religion for every freaking thing that have a problem with even if it has nothing to do with religion. It is like their superstition. "Oh something bad happened??! It must have been the religion monster!!"

Anyway, I believe kids should be tought to be strong, toughen u, work hard, stand up for themselves, learn how to fight for self defense only, taught right from wrong. taught to stand up for the weak and morality and other things kids lack today.

For me I was bullied all the time and never had any real friends. Yet I also stood up for myself. I believe martial arts helped me in my life and I recommend studying a martial art to give you strength and self control.

This is not about beating people up and hurting them worse, it is simply to have self respect and some honor and to not let people defeat you. So many bullies and other jerks in the world try to take people like us out. While life is painful we need to be strong enough to endure it. This would save a lot of people from suicide as well as keep peoples anger and hate under control so they dont shoot up a building or murder someone.


Awsamb has a point though. Teach everyone to fight, even if you INTEND for it to be self defensive only, and the thing that will actually happen: Everyone constantly fights. All that'd actually happen is the stronger fighters would bully the weak. Pointless.

But moreso than that, some people *cant* do that even if you want them to. Those with physical disabilities. They have no choice in the matter.

Violence is not always needed with this sort of thing. I went through bullying during all of highschool. However, I do not fight. I decided almost immediately that there was no way in hell I was going to give those idiots the satisfaction of me sinking to their dumbass level. Most of the time, I just glared at them with a "You're not even worth the dirt on my shoes, why are you even existing near me?" sort of look. The funny part is, most bullies dont know what to do with a LACK of a response, which is pretty much what that was. They'd run down after about 3-4 minutes of stupidity, and sorta just waddle off, looking just a BIT stupid in front of anyone they might have been trying to impress.

There were those that this didnt entirely work on though, but... I didnt need violence for that. Just logic and reasoning. Not to TALK it out with them, no no no. I mean that I'd basically make it so that one way or another, they end up fully noticed by the faculty for whatever they were doing at the time; AKA, they get caught red-handed doing some damn stupid thing. Or I might try other ideas. The worst of the bullies, the nastiest of all of the group, well... he didnt graduate, when that came along, let's just put it that way. The final straw broke the camel's back, basically (he was a known troublemaker to the faculty). Oh, I didnt break any rules. I just manipulated things to make SURE his deeds in the end would be... noticed, so he'd cross that final line. I'll never forgive the last glare I got from him, at the end of it.


And through all of that, I never so much as shoved a single person. There are so many other ways to deal with things, but too many people just automatically think that punching and kicking is the way to go. Why escalate things unnecessarily? And for me, being lazy, the question was also: Why put that much physical effort into it? Heck with that, I always say.

You dont need violence or fighting to get through things like that. Just outthink the damn fools. Bullies as a rule arent the brightest bunch... never seen one that was.



TheMagnanimousKitten
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07 Jun 2015, 10:04 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I feel that all kids should be taught gentleness and how to love everybody.


Yes, they definitely should :) It would make school a lot better :D
I try to teach my classmates by example :)



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07 Jun 2015, 10:50 pm

I wish I fought back in the 60's and 70's. With my poor motor coordination, being the shortest male in the class, being outnumbered I would have lost probably every time. So I figured if I fought back each successive "retaliation" beating would be more painful then previous so I did not fight back and practiced unsuccessful avoidance. What I did not understand do to my lack of social skills is that I would have gained and the bullies would have lost respect and social pressure would have forced them stop. Instead the opposite happened.

That was then in an era where cameras were not everywhere so the bullies know they could do what they wanted out of site of the teachers, often off school grounds and I could have fought back in front of classmates but out of sight of teachers. Today we have an era where the official policy is "zero tolerance" of violence in schools. All violence is supported to be punished. Retaliation violence is often emotional and more obvious then the original bullying so those retaliating get caught or punished more severely. The off school grounds is now the internet when the smarter bullies can ruin your reputation for life. So one has to both extremely smart about and cautious about gaining justice.


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07 Jun 2015, 11:03 pm

Well usually at school if someone who is getting bullied defends them-self they get in trouble much more than the bullies, perhaps if school was different simply knowing how to fight and stand up for yourself would suffice in most cases. Though not everyone is capable of learning to fight well or effectively stand up for them-self against their entire class for instance if their the outcast. The unpleasant/harmful behavior of the bullies should be addressed, rather than just putting all the responsibility on those who might experience it. Either way some people are going to need help against bullying even if standing up for ones self even to the point of fighting was encouraged...then again perhaps than those who are better at that can help those who aren't more effectively. For instance if you've seen Game of Thrones how Jon Snow deals with the initial treatment of Sam...he didn't help him by nicely telling the ones giving him a rough time, 'hey leave him alone' and expecting that to suffice of course that's not gradeschool kids but same bullying behavior you could see...of course unless you've seen the context of my example may be hard to follow how it relates.


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08 Jun 2015, 4:00 am

I think people should teach their kids obedience and morals and respect so that they wouldn't bully from the start of it, to prevent conflict between students



spiritnja
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08 Jun 2015, 4:19 am

They should be taught how to respect and love others and to live peaceful, but school isn't about that, it's more like a prison. And in that kind of environment you have to fight to survive..I don't identify as asperger's, but all of them in school here should unite and stand up, and start bloodying these prick's noses, then no-one will f**k with you so much. I know I would've been ready to get expelled from 10 different schools than having to be made to feel like s**t by those pricks for another minute..



Last edited by spiritnja on 08 Jun 2015, 4:26 am, edited 2 times in total.

spiritnja
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08 Jun 2015, 4:21 am

Bullies usually go for the weaker target, therefore even if someone stands up to them and gets their asses beat, they'd still think twice before trying to mess with them next time..this is a fact.



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08 Jun 2015, 4:27 am

they don't matter...

Find the people that you are looking for. Seek them out.

Leave the rest alone, if you have to, treat them with kindness.


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Zajie
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08 Jun 2015, 4:31 am

Sorry to hear you feel that way towards school, I hope things get better for you :heart:
I was never really bullied at school, maybe just teased sometimes when I was younger but I know it's not nice being targeted and humiliated, people should really start teaching their kids



spiritnja
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08 Jun 2015, 4:38 am

People need to start getting their power back, and this includes the use of force. The use of force isn't always appropriate, but teachers in school say that 'It doesn't matter who started it, you're both at fault'..Who started it is ALL that matters...The person who started it is the aggressor, and the victim can use whatever amount of force is necessary to put that aggressive act down. It's also why I said that kids should learn how to verbally defend themselves and talk trash. These pricks don't have any compassion for them, they can be merciless tormentors, they are hopelessly stuck in the paradigm of false duality themselves, but they should receive their just consequences..Stop being so nice to these pricks, they aren't nice to you.

Society wants people in general to be meek little subservient sheep, and that the use of force is monopolized by the police and government. Violence in this way is the last word, and they may use flowery language and ideals to disguise it, but in the end it's the cop with the gun that is going to come and take you to prison under the threat of violence. This is not for cowards, it's going to take courage to stand up and do this, because almost nobody, and especially society at large, is going to like it. This is the time to reclaim your destiny, and to be free and happy, instead of being bullied and made to feel like s**t because you're different..



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08 Jun 2015, 4:58 am

I wouldn't talk trash to them or something because how you act represents how you were raised and what you were taught and force by force doesn't give a good result
Not all societies are like that, the society where I come from you rarely see bullying, people don't like it when their kids bully others and they're taught to respect, so I have to say it's something cultural and people are raised based on their culture so parents need to change that which I think they're capable of