Is the UK a more mean place?

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I'm probably wrong about this, but I've been wondering if the UK is more mean to people who are different or disabled. I watched a British documentary about violence against disabled people. I've never heard of that stuff happening in Canada. I'm probably just being naive.

I've also noticed that WP members from the UK seem to talk more about being bullied.

I was bullied when I was a kid, but now that I'm older no one really bullies me. I notice that people ignore me more, but I don't get outright bullied. Maybe it's because I'm pretty much NT.

I think like everywhere it varies depending upon where you live. Some areas are rough

Disability hate crime is on the increase in the UK the last 5 yrs or so.

It suits the right wing political narrative to scapegoat those who rely on state benefits.

This is comparative. Do you mean in comparison with Canada? I don't know how 'meanness' can be quantified, statistically or otherwise.

The UK is generally known as/held to be a 'society of eccentrics' - if anything it's likely you'd be more accepted in the UK than elsewhere. Of course, there are regional variations - 'UK' is too broad - this is equivalent to asking 'what is it like living in Africa' - life in the Namib Desert is going to be very different from life in the centre of Cairo.


I could travel to Canada, find the poorest neighbourhoods, and film exclusively these neighbourhoods. I could then go back to the UK and sell my documentary to a TV company which shows how bad Canada is.

Of course, these neighbourhoods did/do exist - the problem is selecting the convenient - and only the convenient - truths. Which isn't a lie per se, just not the totality of what constitutes the broader picture.

If you had a new car - let's say a Mini - you'd be more aware of Minis on the road. Are you sure WP members from the UK talk more about being bullied, or are you seeing what you want to see? Is your perception confirmation bias?


Any number of reasons, including kids in general being 'evil', having not fully learned the unwritten rules of societal functioning.

-or your physical appearance could be intimidating
-or adults realise that 'bullying' comes with possible criminal charges

etc etc

I actually think so, in a general sense. Not necessarily toward the disabled but in general, in my personal view.

I happen to hold the opinion that many Brits seem to be very pent up, bitter and angry under a surface of not being, yes, and when it comes busting out it's vicious. This can be within people you know but also seen among strangers if a situation becomes tense. There's a uniquely British ability for a very acute type of nastiness, I've noticed. I think there is a LOT of bitterness in the UK.

There's also way more default negativity ("Never gonna happen" "Never going to get better" "Nothing I can do" "Nothing we can do so..." "Typical...." "Always ends up that way doesn't it".......Particularly compared to people in another country I lived in and know about as well as the UK.

Just my observations across an experience of two cultures.

Something I have noticed is the "stiff upper lip" - people in the UK are not as open about things and as such may view those who are as "drama queens". They may experience quite severe daily struggles, be it from physical or mental pain, but will not go to the GP unless unavoidable for fear of inconveniencing them and wasting their time. Very few old people have mobility scooters but when in the US I definitely noticed a lot of people using them. They view it as shameful and will rather struggle to walk. Same for mental health things like depression I think. So talking about your problems, physical or mental, may get you viewed pretty negatively because they're pulling through without help if that makes sense. Again it varies by region and area and these are based in my local area.

British people overall, are not that friendly to strangers and just as [iliketrees] said, don't want anyone to think they have any weakness. But the people vary depending where you live - Scotland is more friendly, especially if you drink... Irish people are friendly and easier to get on with, but are short-tempered if you make them angry... Oxford people only like being friends with their cliques... London people are interesting and usually more tolerating of people from other countries... and so on.

I have been reading a book about London where someone thought that the people who have the best time in London are autistic people. If you get to live in a decent estate then London is probably the place where people like us would have the best chance.

Tho, I wouldn't want to live in America, and I don't know enough about Canada. School culture in America is the worst in the world for aspies, but then again, there's more diversity there than in Britain. A lot of people here are quite racist and prejudist. A lot of people said to me, Australia is good - people are more understanding of people's conditions there. But even if you live in Britain and have a good uni degree, it's still difficult to get a visa in Australia.

I don't know if we are more accepting. I think you would be considered "eccentric" only if you were wealthy. Maybe you could get away with it if you were exceptionally attractive. The less advantaged are just seen as "weirdos" and are targets for abuse.

There still seems to me to be quite a strong class system here. You are likely to be looked down on by the upper classes if you don't have all the right things: right background, right school, right job, car etc. These people are likely to "just" make sneering remarks though. They hold all the power so they don't really have to do anything else.

Certain people in the working class will turn on you if don't like the same things they do (e.g. football) or if you speak "posh" (my family are working class but I have a slightly odd Aspie way of speaking which has often been derided as posh) or if they perceive you as being, well, a bit of a "weirdo". These people are more likely to respond in a more violent or intimidating way.

I myself am an odd mix. I live in one of the richest parts of the country (Surrey) but my family are working class and don't have money or property. I was the first person in my family to go to university and there I was mixing with people from exclusive public schools like Eton. Maybe it's because I am an Aspie I grew up loving books and learning more than the things other of my "class" liked (sport, especially football). I've therefore been called posh and common in about equal measure.

As BirdInFlight says, I think a lot of Brits are rather resentful and I think the class system is behind a lot of it.

Agreed. If you seen to be different or show weakness in a working class area; you will be destroyed. To survive you must not show weakness and you must not be seen to think of yourself as more important or more highly than them, or your an enemy.

I think people tend to be more polite in the UK than in the US.

To me, it's a most more pleasant place to be than the US.

Canada is similar to the UK.

That is a bit of a broad characterization. Some British people may be more polite, but that is by no means the rule and many Americans are quite polite.

In the area of North London where I lived in the 1970s, many people used four letter words the way people in the New York area use the sound "um" and as general punctuation. Bleep! Do you bleeping understand? Can you bleeping even bleeping imagine what I'm bleeping talking about? Bleep!

And then there was the inter-regional and inter-class hostility. Yobs and muggings and putting the boot in. Wogs out, pakis out! Arsenal vs. Chelsea, Arsenal vs. United... etc. And the posh gits in posh shops who would say "I think you would be happier shopping somewhere else sir, when the trade was too rough for their taste..." Nasty islands full of hatred and brutality. Not everyone, mind you--but a bleeping lot of the bastards.

But one doesn't live there now. Perhaps things have changed?

Of course I'm generalizing.

It's just an overall impression.

I always tell people that New Yorkers transcend the stereotype all the time.

Why, thankyou

Yes, I concede and probably agree with this - but definitely that it's related to class in the sense of how much one can 'get away with it'. However - there is abuse within the 'upper' classes - it simply takes different forms.

It possibly comes with the territory of living on a small island, yet having a relatively large population. A similar class system can be found in Japan.

Not sure if I agree 100% with this - I'm going to think through this one from every side of the debate then get back to BirdInFlight's post.

Maybe it's the system of manners Brits are brought up with (again, this depends on class of course) - I think maybe a 'cloak down' reaction possibly seems so shocking due to the general day-to-day niceness of the average polite Brit. I think the contrast is so polarised that it seems very extreme.

However, I'd rather have someone who is generally nice on most occasions than someone who is brash/brutish.

Again, I feel there's a similarity with Japan with their sense of Honne/Tatemae.


It could be attributed to a number of things, i.e.

1) Facade of manners due to island nation/people living in such close proximity
2) Bitterness due to UK's former place in the world having fallen (no empire any more!)


I don't know if I agree with this. Maybe we're more accepting of reality. Again I return to Japan as an example - look up the word 'Shoganai' - maybe there's an element of that in UK culture.

For me, the opposite is dangerous i.e. telling people they can achieve what they want if they simply put their mind to it - in most instances this is unrealistic. Saying this isn't being negative - it is simply realism.

There seems to be a movement of 'you can do anything you want!' - it's very much the self-esteem movement. I think in the UK we're possibly a little more what I'd describe as 'level-headed' - if someone wished to be a pop star, we're more likely to say to them 'don't give up your day job' - which isn't a criticism of ability, but more a comment on only a small percentage actually being able to make a living from such a path - irrespective of ability.

There also seems to be a real danger today of viewing a passion as a possible career path - or being told it can be so. Which, in some cases it can - but in the majority of instances it can't.

We see this in the artistic fields, especially so music and writing. I have a few friends who are novelists - but also have full-time jobs.

Ted Hughes once said 'if you write 80 poems every 4 years it's really not that much' - and when this is broken down, it's true. It equates to 20 poems a year i.e. under 2 poems per month. In this sense, yes, it isn't a full-time job.

What you see as negative I see as realism. I'm more for the 'get a job and pursue your hobby in your spare time' approach than the 'you can be a star' approach. Of course, it isn't as dichotomous as that, but I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from.

I've been to Scotland a few times with my boyfriend, and the people there seem to be so much more friendlier than Essex. People smile or say hello, not minding if you look shy like I do. In Essex, whenever I smile to someone in the street, they either look away or glare at me. I feel much more relaxed when surrounded by friendly people. When I went into town in Scotland, I felt people weren't really judging me as much as they do in Essex. I didn't have women gawping at me as they passed. People just left you alone, and went about their business. I like that.

But in Essex, especially in places like Colchester, people are so rude. They walk into you, glare at you, never smile (only the very occasional person), and just make you feel unworthy. Yesterday I was waiting to cross a busy road, I pressed the button on the traffic light thing and stood there waiting for the traffic lights to go red. Then a woman with a little kid came along and impatiently stood next to me, also waiting for the traffic lights to go red so that we could get across. Then she suddenly jumped right in front of me (so I had to step back) and pressed the button, without figuring out that I might've already pressed it and that the lights do not turn red straight away. But you've got to keep quiet at these sorts of places because people seem to be so aggressive. Not my kind of environment really.

If only I had the money, I would take myself and my boyfriend (and close family if they wanted to) and move up to Scotland to live in a friendly village. I'm sick and tired of nasty, rude, ignorant, judgmental, aggressive people.