Does anyone else have meltdowns like mine?

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Ok so I have the current diagnoses of autism, PDA, ADHD, OCD and heightened levels of anxiety. But I feel like there is more than what meets the eye with me..

In a meltdown I will head bang, hit myself, hit out at others, cut my self and put myself in direct danger. I study at a autistic school.

One thing that i struggle with is coping when I see someone else having a meltdown. I don't no if it is because it scares me, makes me angry. Or whether it is the fear of the unknown.

This past week I have never been so low. I have just moved over to the college (still at the same school). I know it's a change and that's hard but I feel like there is more there. My mood changes hourly and I go from being ok to suddenly being really low about nothing. It could be depression but my meltdowns are getting worse and more aggressive (towards myself). Some days I just want to die.

Please help and share your stories too!

Are you in the US?

You've done pretty well by being admitted to the "college."

Yep....there are people here who can share stories about their meltdowns.

Ask Autism Speaks---they seem to know a lot about our meltdowns, especially how to trigger them to win lawsuits, and to keep making us look like the worst calamity that could befall our parents and society.

During my meltdowns, I cry, scream, hit myself on the head, and bang my elbow against the table. I always feel really ashamed after it's over, but I can't stop the meltdowns from coming out.

I think if you're struggling with depression, that you should see a psychiatrist and get counseling and/or medicine. Remember, you are worthy of a good life, and things CAN get better. Best of luck.

Yes, I've been known to injure myself in my past, when I didn't find better ways to deal with my meltdowns. It was usually a deliberate act to overwhelm myself with pain so I had just one feeling to focus on, vs a hundred different sensations and thoughts.

When I was a teen and had meltdowns I wall fall into such a deep depression and just start balling my eyes out and have no idea what was even so upsetting.

Now a days I'll just pace a lot when the going get's tough. I probably look crazy but I feel like I gotta keep moving when I'm overwhelmed like that.

I don't even know why I have meltdowns most of the time. It's hard for me because I'd like to just be able to process my emotions and my thoughts instead of being crippled by them, and completely confused as to what is actually going on inside that head of mine.