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Basement
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04 Apr 2007, 3:43 am

Just curious how people deal with their anger and if their manner of dealing with it might relate to their AS. I remember once a counsellor offered me the opportunity to say anything I wanted 'free licence' because I had been badly let down by someone and the counselling session would have been a safe place to vent. I didn't take her up on it because I couldn't see myself as that person, shouting, swearing in front of a stranger, nuh uh. I don't think I've ever truly 'lost it' with anybody because a) I'm scared to, b) I've gotten used to hiding my anger and c) I don't what a seriously pissed of me would like look like.

Don't get me wrong, I have argued with my mother and raised my voice but outside of family any overt anger from me is rare. I think it's partly down to AS.


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Esperanza
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04 Apr 2007, 3:49 am

I find anger extremely frustrating because I don't know how to express it. Sometimes it becomes a blinding rage, and I just kind of stand there doing absolutely nothing.



calandale
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04 Apr 2007, 4:00 am

I have had (and probably still do) real issues with anger. Starting in middle school, I became tremendously violent. It's mostly been under control, but that may be due more to a solitary lifestyle than anything else. My wife was very good at not getting me angry - she and I would give one another space, when we needed it. But, it's terrible when I feel trapped in a situation.



Starr
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04 Apr 2007, 4:11 am

Yes, I do anger. Not very often, but I don't have a problem with expressing it.



maldoror
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04 Apr 2007, 4:11 am

Esperanza, I really like your avatar!

I've always had problems with anger. Get ready for a warped idea... I think it gave people a reference point to understand my personality. Maybe that's just paranoia (it very well could be, actually). I think it's harder for people to deal with a walking enigma with muted emotions spewing out all over place place than a walking enigma who will spontaneously burst out in fits of anger at their innocent little mind games. Also, I've noticed that people will sometimes see anger, or at least standoffishness, as a sign of power or confidence (which, of course, it isn't.)



Tensho
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04 Apr 2007, 4:19 am

I control my Anger now but before the age of 12 I had no control at all and would explode a lot. I think my Aspie ways saved me back then from getting into big trouble with all the fighting because I would always admit when I did anything wrong and the teachers found it hard to punish me because of it.

When I moved to Secondary School I was quite aware that there was kids much older than me over twice my size and I went there with almost no friends. I guess I became to afraid to let my anger control me.



DingoDv
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04 Apr 2007, 4:37 am

I tend to go like a pressure cooker, maybe a little steam venting but under normal pressure will never blow. NOt sure whether its actually a good idea to keep your anger inside - I just don't want to upset people by breathing fire over them (I wouldn't want it done to me so why do it to them)



Graelwyn
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04 Apr 2007, 4:55 am

I have anger issues. When I have a meltdown, I tend to rage badly....cussing uncontrollably, shouting, hitting out, hitting self, breaking things etc. If someone says something that hurts, I get angry but seldom lash out in an uncontrolled way. I always manage to get my anger across succinctly in such cases. In the past, I would always lash out verbally and it got me into great trouble.


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daisybcfc
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04 Apr 2007, 5:07 am

i anger alot of the time, it sems to be my main problem as i find it impossible to deal with. i take it out on other ppl usually, if iv been geting angry for a long time if one person does the smallest thing to push me over the edge i cant control myself. anger is good tho, its the only thing that makes me cry, if i didnt let it out i wouldnt b able to cope



girl7000
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04 Apr 2007, 5:26 am

I get angry, but only rarely angry with people as I have become accustomed to them being confusing, erratic and fallable.

I do tend to get angry with things like IT equipment and also systems and processes because these should be logical and I can't understand why sometimes they are not. Also, you can't reason with something that is inanimate or abstract - but you can at least try to reason with a person.

I get angry at myself most of all. I was always told that my difficulties were my fault - it didn't occur to anyone that I might have AS and dyslexia etc. So I often blame myself and get angry when I make mistakes or cannot do something because I've been 'trained' to believe that everything is my fault. I'm trying to overcome this, and I've made progress (finding out I have AS really helped), but it is a long process.



plague
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04 Apr 2007, 6:26 am

i have started to get an anger management problem in the past few years and my parents dont like it even though they also yell at me and get up me for no reason.



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04 Apr 2007, 6:54 am

I yell at people over the internet and ocasionally hick holes in the wall or break down doors.



Basement
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04 Apr 2007, 6:56 am

There was a time...in 2005 I think it was when I was very tempted to put my hand through a window downstairs, felt very intense.


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jfberge
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04 Apr 2007, 10:25 am

I have a problem with anger in that I find it difficult to express anger to people. It rarely seems to be a productive way of dealing with people. People in cars, for example, will honk at each other over minor things, while I only honk if doing so will alert someone to an avertable danger (i.e. never).

Perhaps it's because I react so poorly to the anger of others that I don't lash out at others. When someone I know is shouting at me, I don't hear what they're saying, I just feel like the person is demonstrating their dislike of me. Conversely, I don't feel like I'm negotiating a relationship with someone I'm angry with, I feel like I'm distancing myself from them.

I do vent anger frequently, but almost always alone, and almost never to someone present. My computer receives most of my outbursts, so perhaps it's more frustration I express than anger.



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04 Apr 2007, 10:28 am

Anger angers me.

In my life it came from other people. They would just start in on me. Annoy, annoy, annoy, and then when you get angry, they say I was just talking and he went off.

What worked for me is I am polite, which I think was the root of the problem, from the way I spoke they did not think I had a range, it was a cheap shot, like people who threaten children.

Now I am polite until I dont like something they said, then I come out a little pissed, if they keep trying I get more pissed with each exchange. I am not angry, I am pissing on them. They react by getting angry, then I turn cold, and start asking what is the matter with you? If they were going to walk up and hit me, that's what they would have done, but they are running their mouths, now louder, and people are looking at them. Some have gotten so upset I have suggested anger management therapy,

Now they really come unglued, I am being so reasonable and understanding, and trying to calm a raving nut case. It works great.

They started it, I did not do anything, and since most are bluffing, they are really stuck.

Aspies can become talented bullies.

I should start a school.



hyperion
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04 Apr 2007, 10:42 am

i once got so angry i tore steel out of concrete