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androbot01
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19 Sep 2015, 7:36 am

I haven't given up on furthering my education, but it's going to have to wait. Full time is taking everything I have right now.

The teacher who spoke to me about the meadow has been giving me the eye. I ruffle her feathers for some reason. So be it, her reaction to me is not in my control. And I know I'm not a threat to anybody.

Cleaning in the daycare gives me an interesting observational opportunity. And it is definitely a process of indoctrination. The sole purpose seems to be control and conformity at the expense of the child's individuality. No wonder people are such sheep. They are aggressively taught to be by the educational system. I can only wonder at what potential is being lost in exchange for group think and the needs of the teachers.



kraftiekortie
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19 Sep 2015, 8:00 am

I do hope you are able to speak to the teachers some time. That would make you less "mysterious" in their eyes, and you have a good intelligence, that they need to know about. I do understand your feelings, though, about not giving a rat's butt about them. But it would make you seem less sullen to them should you speak with them, and you would gain more acceptance, I believe.

I think you're right about the "sheep"--but for somewhat different reasons. I believe the primary reason for keeping kids "sheep" is order in the classroom. It's difficult keeping 20-30 kids focused on the same thing all the time--especially when they are quite young.

I didn't do well behaviorally at school. I was an individualist in a collectivist setting.



androbot01
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19 Sep 2015, 8:13 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I do hope you are able to speak to the teachers some time.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. I do speak to them, "hi, how are you?", "beautiful day", "yes I can take that out to the garbage bin for you." etc. I mean I don't have any in depth conversations with them, they are very busy. I think the mystery of me will never entirely disappear. But hopefully they will realize I'm harmless.



kraftiekortie
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19 Sep 2015, 8:21 am

All right, Ann. I do get what you mean. My impression was that you just did your job--which I sometimes do.

It would be great if you were able to have more in-depth discussions with somebody, though. So tey will not think of you merely as the "cleaner." You have to let it happen naturally, though. They have to be the initiators.



olympiadis
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19 Sep 2015, 11:05 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
So sad to see how far paranoia and hostility can go... and even more so that a desire to enjoy nature is seen as "odd behaviour".


+1



olympiadis
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19 Sep 2015, 11:10 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I do hope you are able to speak to the teachers some time. That would make you less "mysterious" in their eyes, and you have a good intelligence, that they need to know about.


I don't agree with this advice. I think the more they know the worse things will get, and that intelligence is a threat to people like this.



androbot01
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19 Sep 2015, 11:12 am

olympiadis wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I do hope you are able to speak to the teachers some time. That would make you less "mysterious" in their eyes, and you have a good intelligence, that they need to know about.


I don't agree with this advice. I think the more they know the worse things will get, and that intelligence is a threat to people like this.


I agree.



olympiadis
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19 Sep 2015, 11:21 am

androbot01 wrote:
People are too suspicious of odd behaviour. It's false logic. And it's discriminatory. The most successful predators are the ones who blend in. I think the teacher was just being overly vigilant. She's young and thinks she knows more than she does.
Still though, I find it disturbing that she finds me threatening. Is society really so far gone that standing in a meadow (with my back to the playground) is viewed by anyone as threatening?
Something about the desire to be alone is a threat to neurotypicals and I don't know why.


I think you're exactly right on all counts.

Imagine if you were a child and in the meadow, then it probably wouldn't disturb anyone. But, if you look like an adult, and are doing some behavior that is in some way childlike, then they have a problem, because their own perspective of the world is filtered through their adult identity, and so they assume that all other adults are the same as they are.

In many ways we engage the world in a very childlike manner, and do not filter all of our perceptions through an identity.
I think that most adults would have little interest in enjoying being in a meadow. Their identities would not let them enjoy it.



androbot01
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19 Sep 2015, 11:32 am

olympiadis wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
People are too suspicious of odd behaviour. It's false logic. And it's discriminatory. The most successful predators are the ones who blend in. I think the teacher was just being overly vigilant. She's young and thinks she knows more than she does.
Still though, I find it disturbing that she finds me threatening. Is society really so far gone that standing in a meadow (with my back to the playground) is viewed by anyone as threatening?
Something about the desire to be alone is a threat to neurotypicals and I don't know why.


I think you're exactly right on all counts.

Imagine if you were a child and in the meadow, then it probably wouldn't disturb anyone. But, if you look like an adult, and are doing some behavior that is in some way childlike, then they have a problem, because their own perspective of the world is filtered through their adult identity, and so they assume that all other adults are the same as they are.

In many ways we engage the world in a very childlike manner, and do not filter all of our perceptions through an identity.
I think that most adults would have little interest in enjoying being in a meadow. Their identities would not let them enjoy it.


This incident has pushed me beyond my tipping point. I have been working my ass off to do a good job. And I get criticized for standing in a meadow, which apparently is a threat to society.
I have had it. I will no longer even bother with this neurotypical hell. They can have it. Clearly nts and their society are not going to accept someone like me. Fine. Screw them.



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19 Sep 2015, 12:15 pm

androbot01 wrote:
olympiadis wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
People are too suspicious of odd behaviour. It's false logic. And it's discriminatory. The most successful predators are the ones who blend in. I think the teacher was just being overly vigilant. She's young and thinks she knows more than she does.
Still though, I find it disturbing that she finds me threatening. Is society really so far gone that standing in a meadow (with my back to the playground) is viewed by anyone as threatening?
Something about the desire to be alone is a threat to neurotypicals and I don't know why.


I think you're exactly right on all counts.

Imagine if you were a child and in the meadow, then it probably wouldn't disturb anyone. But, if you look like an adult, and are doing some behavior that is in some way childlike, then they have a problem, because their own perspective of the world is filtered through their adult identity, and so they assume that all other adults are the same as they are.

In many ways we engage the world in a very childlike manner, and do not filter all of our perceptions through an identity.
I think that most adults would have little interest in enjoying being in a meadow. Their identities would not let them enjoy it.


This incident has pushed me beyond my tipping point. I have been working my ass off to do a good job. And I get criticized for standing in a meadow, which apparently is a threat to society.
I have had it. I will no longer even bother with this neurotypical hell. They can have it. Clearly nts and their society are not going to accept someone like me. Fine. Screw them.


It's not just autism. There's a growing subculture in our society that craves the conformity of everyone and is willing to enforce it using whatever means are needed. Just look at how people of atypical sex or gender presentation (including same sex couples) are treated by those subcultures. Our family sees the intersectionality fairly frequently and it's the same groups/subcultures that lash out at anyone who "refuses" to conform.

My guess is that our culture is changing to slowly embrace diversity more and this is their panicked reaction to try to stop it.


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kraftiekortie
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19 Sep 2015, 12:29 pm

I don't agree with isolation. I find it counterproductive. Not all NTs are like that.

I've gone through similar things. I still go through similar things. The thing to do is to allow your self to shine. Don't let them isolate you.

It'll get better once you get into things like medical coding.

You and others probably don't agree with me. But NTs are not cut and dry, not are autistic people.



androbot01
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19 Sep 2015, 12:31 pm

I am a failed experiment. Time to go.



kraftiekortie
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19 Sep 2015, 12:49 pm

Ann....I'm sorry this happened to you

You are not failed.



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19 Sep 2015, 1:48 pm

Perhaps talk to some other person in the kindergarten, just not the one who picked on you? They are not a hive mind, chances are that this person will have picked on someone else there.

I have a child in kindergarten, and my experience is that some people who work in those places are open minded and playful, and some of them suffer from the superior empathy delusion in a big way - body language is all, intentions nothing.



Jacoby
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19 Sep 2015, 2:13 pm

People are way too paranoid about their kids, this is a problem with them not you. I don't know what to say other than that, I guess they'd rather you just be visibly miserable and hate kids while you do the job just to be safe?



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19 Sep 2015, 3:21 pm

Yeesh, guys. Why do we all accept as true that it was the parents complaining? I just realized I had a similar experience, and adult - a kindergarten teacher no less - telling me a version of "everybody hates you". At the time, it was very hurtful, but I quickly realized that the statement really couldn't be true, because some of those people had been extraordinarily nice to me.

"Everybody here hates you" is bullying 101. Don't fall for it. "So-and so complained about" you is a version of the same statement. If this person is the manager, well, suck it up, try to find work somewhere else. If not, talk to the manager. Ask whether it is a problem that you smoke in the meadow. Play dumb. That way you are calling this person's bluff. If the parents really did complain, then get the manager to explain to you why it is a problem that you smoke in the meadow. I bet she can't . If she can, then ask "why" until you get a reasonable answer.

Either way, the teacher who is trying to bully you will get the message that she can't do it in secret.

androbot01 wrote:
I am a failed experiment. Time to go.


Please don't take this so seriously. Your words worry me. Don't assume everybody is ganging up on you. I used to think the same way. Now I force myself to separate groups into individuals, and to question a lot of the things people tell me.

This person is really not worth making life decisions over.