People that joke all the time drive me insane.

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Purrbaby
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18 Sep 2015, 8:30 am

Really. I can't stand them. I hate having to interact with people that do this. 1. Because I get sick of doing a fake laugh/smile. 2. Because I feel like I am obliged to say something witty back, and I've got nothing! It's not like I have no sense of humour, I can appreciate a genuinely funny remark, but for the most part people that joke all the time aren't even funny.

Anyone else relate to this?

Two of my colleagues are like this - let's just say I'm glad I only have to work part time.



kraftiekortie
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18 Sep 2015, 8:56 am

I like to joke---but I also like to talk seriously sometimes.

If you're always serious, you're pretty grim.



Purrbaby
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18 Sep 2015, 9:10 am

I agree life would be pretty grim if we were always serious, but some people just take the joking too far iykwim and it all feels a little forced.



kraftiekortie
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18 Sep 2015, 9:21 am

I would agree with that.

I was pretty jokey yesterday--I sacrificed, somewhat, humor for substance.



Purrbaby
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18 Sep 2015, 9:24 am

Maybe I should cut them some slack. I'm sure their intentions are good :D



kraftiekortie
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18 Sep 2015, 9:27 am

I'm sure your kitty cat would enjoy your sagacity :D

Sometimes, people who joke are really sad underneath it all.



Purrbaby
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18 Sep 2015, 9:36 am

Yes!! And I think that's what's bothering me about it, why it feels so forced. I'd rather they just be real than put on some comedy act. But hey, if it helps them feel better about things, I'll try to be more tolerant.



kraftiekortie
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18 Sep 2015, 9:42 am

It seems like you work in some sort of office.

I work in two offices, actually. Both jobs involve data entry.

You're probably involved in something more substantive.



Purrbaby
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18 Sep 2015, 9:52 am

Haha nope! I mostly do data entry too



kraftiekortie
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18 Sep 2015, 9:57 am

Data entry, in many ways, is an ideal Aspie job.

I work in a criminal justice capacity. It's interesting looking at various viewpoints of people's actions.



lostonearth35
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18 Sep 2015, 10:01 am

I've been described as having great sense of humor, and I like being around people who are funny. I've said that if a guy can make me laugh, then he's accomplished one of the greatest things ever. But it really annoys me when people laugh when I actually am being serious, as if they don't care. I knew a lady who would laugh at almost everything you said. You could tell her something like, "My parents died, my house burned to the ground last night, and I have cancer" and she'd laugh. Then she'd couldn't comprehend why I was upset with her.

Of course if I said, "My parents died, my house burned to the ground last night, and I broke a nail", then that would be funny because of Arson, Murder and Jaywalking, especially if the other person cried, "You broke a NAIL? Your poor thing!" and act like that last one is the worst thing ever. :lol:



kraftiekortie
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18 Sep 2015, 10:03 am

I like "Comedy of Situations"--sort of similar to "Comedy of Manners."



jk1
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18 Sep 2015, 10:13 am

Yes, I can relate to the OP. I also often don't know how to respond. Then I tend to spread my awkwardness/tension to other people. As a result I often get treated as a "difficult person". Jokes make me even more isolated.

I also don't like "jokes" that involve putting some people down or humiliating/degrading them. I don't find such cruel "jokes" funny.



kraftiekortie
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18 Sep 2015, 10:16 am

I don't find those sorts of jokes funny, either.



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18 Sep 2015, 11:25 am

Ugh tell me about it. One of my boyfriends was like this and he wouldn't quit when I would tell him to stop and how I don't like it and how it makes me feel and how upsetting he is. He never quit and then he would get upset with me for taking him seriously.

One thing that upsets me is when I am having a serious discussion and the other person is joking around it feels like they are not taking me seriously. My ex did this a lot and I just quit talking to them when they keep doing this. My ex thought I was the rude one go figure. :roll: He didn't seem to get how upsetting and frustrating this was all for me. He thought if he kept joking around, I would get used to it and start picking up on it, but the opposite it true. I just stop taking them seriously and believing every word they say but in a relationship you can't really just ignore your partner and not ever listen to them because you think they are joking again so you never bother talking to them. What is the point in being together if you can't believe anything your partner says because you assume they can never tell the truth and can never be serious because they do it so often so about 80% of stuff they say is all a joke? It's like they never take anything seriously because everything is a joke to them. They get fired, oh ha ha ha that is so funny, and they don't even get they were actually fired go figure because they think their boss is joking let's say or you have hurt feelings and they think you're joking so they refuse to believe you actually have hurt feelings. Then they think you have no sense of humor and can't take a joke and then get pissed you took them seriously in the first place. These people I try to avoid.


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18 Sep 2015, 11:59 am

It's been my experience that NT people use verbal humor as a very social non-verbal interaction tool. By that I mean someone might use joking as a shield or wall, as a way to express mutual viewpoints for bonding and/or as a way to oppress or control others. Because humor is so incredibly context sensitive, it is one of the more misunderstood forms of communication, too. Which means NT people have also developed a whole 'nother layer of social-connection-enhancing, internal and external reactions, allowances and assumptions. Mostly for when jokes go bad - or- have some other purpose than amusement at the actual content, etc..

In other words, humor is one of those things that bonds a small group together socially &/or excludes outsiders. Currently I recognize and appreciate that I'm exceedingly lucky to work with a small IT group and all but one of us are likely or confirmed to be on the spectrum. So when we joke, the Sales and Marketing folks think we are exceedingly odd as our jokes make no social sense to them b/c ours tend to be pure content humor. And we feel a similar reaction to their jokes; often a couple of us will recognize the social purpose of one of their jokes and just roll our eyes, as that purpose is what makes the joke funny to them not the actual content. Some of their jokes aren't even objectively funny, yet they all laugh uproariously as a sign of support...I think?


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