24 Sep 2015, 12:28 pm
NowhereWoman
Velociraptor
Joined: 1 Jul 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 499
Location: Los Angeles, CA
24 Sep 2015, 12:47 pm
Honestly, during the times in my life (mainly during periods of depression) that I haven't felt like keeping up my hygiene, I did anyway, not for myself but for the sake of others. We tend not to "smell ourselves," it's actually a phenomenon, I believe (much as someone who has a dozen cats eventually doesn't smell the litter box in his/her own home). I don't say that to make you paranoid, just giving my own input and experience.
I can't imagine that your hygiene is technically anyone else's business and nobody can tell you when to shower. 
Ultimately it is your body.
But as for me, I worry (perhaps too much) about offending others, so even if I don't think I can "smell myself," I keep up with the hygiene.
Everyone is different.
24 Sep 2015, 12:53 pm
I can't imagine that your hygiene is technically anyone else's business and nobody can tell you when to shower.
Ultimately it is your body. But as for me, I worry (perhaps too much) about offending others, so even if I don't think I can "smell myself," I keep up with the hygiene.
Everyone is different.
Like I said, I use baby wipes on my pits when they smell. I actually posted on other places about my lack of hygiene and was surprised how gross others said it is and I was rather mad them for calling me nasty. But now, i figure it's time to stop caring about what others think of me. Yes, it is my body and no one can tell me when to shower : ) thanks.
24 Sep 2015, 1:19 pm
I don't rly care either. 
24 Sep 2015, 1:23 pm
24 Sep 2015, 1:27 pm
That is your choice but don't forget there are consequences. My ex always liked wearing his trench coat and he didn't seem to care why he should have to take it off. it would be 90 degrees out and he would sweat and he would start smelling and people would move away. He hated that so he always complained how "judgmental" people are because of his coat. it's not that they were being judgmental, he stunk so they moved to another spot to get away from it. They didn't want to smell it and my ex complained as if he wanted them to smell his offensive odor and he was upset they didn't want to smell it. 
He also claimed he didn't care what others thought but yet it did seem like he did care. He just didn't care how he made them feel, he only cared how he was treated so in a way he did care but only for his selfish reason. But yeah that is one of the reasons why I broke up with him because I got tired of his BS. Complaining and doing nothing about it for one. He was too into being true to himself he expected others to bend over backwards.
I had a neighbor who always smelled because he also didn't shower or wear clean clothes and he got his smell into our furniture so my mom decided to ban him from our home unless he took a shower and he couldn't use body deodorant or cologne because that is not being clean. He even got one of my coats smelly too so I had to air it out by having it outside since it couldn't be machine washed. Fortunately he did start to shower but he only did that when he wanted to come over because it was something he wanted so to get it he had to do our commands. I went along with my mother's rule so I reinforced it too. But that didn't matter because at least he didn't smell and he could smell in our rental home all he wanted or anywhere else just as long as we didn't have to smell it and it didn't get into our furniture and our clothes and making our house smell like him.
But since you don't care for friends and relationships, don't be upset if people move away from you or don't want to stand near you or if they fan their faces or hold their noses or if you don't get hired for a job or if you get laid off or get excluded from groups or not allowed in peoples homes. Just because you don't smell doesn't mean you don't smell, we tend to not really smell our own body odor just like how smokers can't smell second hand smoke on their clothes or in their own home.
Last edited by League_Girl on 24 Sep 2015, 3:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
24 Sep 2015, 1:40 pm
He also claimed he didn't care what others thought but yet it did seem like he did care. He just didn't care how he made them feel, he only cared how he was treated so in a way he did care but only for his selfish reason. But yeah that is one of the reasons why I broke up with him because I got tired of his BS. Complaining and doing nothing about it for one. He was too into being true to himself he expected others to bend over backwards. I had a neighbor who always smelled because he also didn't shower or wear clean clothes and he got his smell into our furniture so my mom decided to ban him from our home unless he took a sower and he couldn't use body deodorant or cologne because that is not being clean. He even got one of my coats smelly too so I had to air it out by having it outside since it couldn't be machine washed. Fortunately he did start to shower but he only did that when he wanted to come over because it was something he wanted so to get it he had to do our commands. I went along with my mother's rule so I reinforced it too. But that didn't matter because at least he didn't smell and he could smell in our rental home all he wanted or anywhere else just as long as we didn't have to smell it and it didn't get into our furniture and our clothes and making our house smell like him.
But since you don't care for friends and relationships, don't be upset if people move away from you or don't want to stand near you or if they fan their faces or hold their noses or if you don't get hired for a job or if you get laid off or get excluded from groups or not allowed in peoples homes. Just because you don't smell doesn't mean you don't smell, we tend to not really smell our own body odor just like how smokers can't smell second hand smoke on their clothes or in their own home.
EDIT: I still believe that I don't smell and am not dirty... i wish I wouldn't think like that,but I just can't help it.
BUT I have recently thought about trying my best to shower everyday just to fit in with the rest of society, and if perhaps you are right about smelling, this will ensure that I don't smell. I have actually been successful for the past 3 days now and am happy about that. I realized when my showers were done that it did only take 5-10 minutes, which actually doesn't really kill me to spend.
Last edited by hey_there on 24 Sep 2015, 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
24 Sep 2015, 4:19 pm
They could with me, usually by the idiosyncratic method of first letting me know how much it is in my best interest, and then making it hard, so I actually have to struggle against them to do it.
Sadly, that has never worked on me, because even if they did try to tell me why I should do it, I would argue why I feel it's not necessary. and many times when I feel something isn't necessary, my feelings are very strong and I don't do it. Shame. It would be awesome if that worked for me
24 Sep 2015, 4:35 pm
They could with me, usually by the idiosyncratic method of first letting me know how much it is in my best interest, and then making it hard, so I actually have to struggle against them to do it.
Sadly, that has never worked on me, because even if they did try to tell me why I should do it, I would argue why I feel it's not necessary. and many times when I feel something isn't necessary, my feelings are very strong and I don't do it. Shame. It would be awesome if that worked for me
What if your mom had told you if you didn't bath or shower and brush your hair, etc. people will think she didn't care about you and someone will come and take you and your siblings away because they thought she was a bad mother and didn't take care of her children.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,469
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
24 Sep 2015, 4:43 pm
They could with me, usually by the idiosyncratic method of first letting me know how much it is in my best interest, and then making it hard, so I actually have to struggle against them to do it.
Sadly, that has never worked on me, because even if they did try to tell me why I should do it, I would argue why I feel it's not necessary. and many times when I feel something isn't necessary, my feelings are very strong and I don't do it. Shame. It would be awesome if that worked for me
It is perfectly fine to do things that aren't 'necessary' like showering....not really sure how someone wears the same underwear every day without feeling gross though. Panty liners are for when your on your period not so you never have to change your underwear. Hell if I forget to change mine even if they aren't all that dirty they still get saggy and bunched up.
24 Sep 2015, 4:46 pm
They could with me, usually by the idiosyncratic method of first letting me know how much it is in my best interest, and then making it hard, so I actually have to struggle against them to do it.
Sadly, that has never worked on me, because even if they did try to tell me why I should do it, I would argue why I feel it's not necessary. and many times when I feel something isn't necessary, my feelings are very strong and I don't do it. Shame. It would be awesome if that worked for me
What if your mom had told you if you didn't bath or shower and brush your hair, etc. people will think she didn't care about you and someone will come and take you and your siblings away because they thought she was a bad mother and didn't take care of her children.
It's very hard for me to answer "what if" questions unless the scenarios actually occur. Something like this obviously never would happen.
Last edited by hey_there on 24 Sep 2015, 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
24 Sep 2015, 4:53 pm
They could with me, usually by the idiosyncratic method of first letting me know how much it is in my best interest, and then making it hard, so I actually have to struggle against them to do it.
Sadly, that has never worked on me, because even if they did try to tell me why I should do it, I would argue why I feel it's not necessary. and many times when I feel something isn't necessary, my feelings are very strong and I don't do it. Shame. It would be awesome if that worked for me
It is perfectly fine to do things that aren't 'necessary' like showering....not really sure how someone wears the same underwear every day without feeling gross though. Panty liners are for when your on your period not so you never have to change your underwear. Hell if I forget to change mine even if they aren't all that dirty they still get saggy and bunched up.
24 Sep 2015, 5:06 pm
They could with me, usually by the idiosyncratic method of first letting me know how much it is in my best interest, and then making it hard, so I actually have to struggle against them to do it.
Sadly, that has never worked on me, because even if they did try to tell me why I should do it, I would argue why I feel it's not necessary. and many times when I feel something isn't necessary, my feelings are very strong and I don't do it. Shame. It would be awesome if that worked for me
What if your mom had told you if you didn't bath or shower and brush your hair, etc. people will think she didn't care about you and someone will come and take you and your siblings away because they thought she was a bad mother and didn't take care of her children.
It's very hard for me to answer "what if" questions unless the scenarios actually occur. Something like this obviously never would happen.
That was a tactic my mom used with me and it worked because I didn't want to be taken away. I was little and little kids are gullible and will believe anything. The boy I told you about in my post my mom banned from our home, he was eventually taken away by social services. He missed so many days of school and was always left home alone because his mom couldn't afford a baby sitter. He didn't have a medical condition that would make him miss so many days of school, he would just miss the bus because his mom left for work before him.
24 Sep 2015, 5:11 pm
I shower once a day (or sometimes once every other day). But since most deodorants dont work for more than 48 hours, you will start smelling, although, you wont notice it yourself, since you are so used to it. I think it is very unpolite to not shower (like i dont wanna sit next to someone on the bus that smells bad, or be in the same room for a long while). But no one can force you to shower. The shower doesnt have to be long, you can just be in the shower for 3 mins a day and thats enough.
But its your choice
24 Sep 2015, 5:14 pm
They could with me, usually by the idiosyncratic method of first letting me know how much it is in my best interest, and then making it hard, so I actually have to struggle against them to do it.
Sadly, that has never worked on me, because even if they did try to tell me why I should do it, I would argue why I feel it's not necessary. and many times when I feel something isn't necessary, my feelings are very strong and I don't do it. Shame. It would be awesome if that worked for me
What if your mom had told you if you didn't bath or shower and brush your hair, etc. people will think she didn't care about you and someone will come and take you and your siblings away because they thought she was a bad mother and didn't take care of her children.
It's very hard for me to answer "what if" questions unless the scenarios actually occur. Something like this obviously never would happen.
That was a tactic my mom used with me and it worked because I didn't want to be taken away. I was little and little kids are gullible and will believe anything. The boy I told you about in my post my mom banned from our home, he was eventually taken away by social services. He missed so many days of school and was always left home alone because his mom couldn't afford a baby sitter. He didn't have a medical condition that would make him miss so many days of school, he would just miss the bus because his mom left for work before him.
That worked on you? lol, yeah you sure WERE gullible!
24 Sep 2015, 5:35 pm
I usually do notice my own body odor after about a day without having a shower; sometimes, if it's hot and humid enough, after only a few hours.
I feel really much better when I shower daily, though my parents' judgements still haunt me, as well as the questions from a psychiatrist who knew very well who was paying her and didn't miss an opportunity to frame me as the exact kind of insane moron my parents wanted to hear I was. When I told her I had trouble with them for wanting to have a shower every day, she immediately asked me whether I ever had more than one a day. It was pretty clear that, if I ever yield to the temptation to have a second shower, I'll have utterly and definitely proven to be batshit crazy and in need for others to take control of my life entirely, because obviously noöne in their right mind would ever do it, under any circumstances 
Oh, and I wish I could have a shower in three minutes. No matter how much I hurry up, I seem to be physically unable to be done with it in less than a quarter of an hour, sometimes half an hour. If someone turned off the hot water after ten minutes, I'd be screwed. ... Er, well, I'd be just like I was at my parents' home: no hot water, period
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