Adults: do people ever treat you like a child?

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Fireblossom
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19 Jan 2017, 6:26 am

It happens a lot, and as annoying as it is I'm more or less used to it. The worst part of it is the fact that I'm often treated like a child in situations that I don't need help in, yet people often don't belive me when I do need help. Why is it so hard for others to belive it when I say that I can or can't do something? I mean with the later it could be that my parents compare me to my sister; we're only a year and half apart in age and were raised in somewhat same way, so I suppose it's natural for them to think that I should be able to do the same things she can... except we had one major difference while growing up: I have had this one kind of brain damage since birth, which kept me bedridden for months as a child and I still need surgeries and other treatmeants from time to time in order to live, but thanks to it I could never live a normal life even if I didn't have asperger's syndrome (it was diagnosed when I was nine or so, so my parents know.) That damage has left me with some physical... disabilities might be the right word here, so if I can't do something for the lack of strenght, stamina or the like, my parents understand. But everything related with the asperger's syndrome... well, they know that in theory some things that are simple for others are hard for me, but most of the time it doesn't show in the way they treat me. As frustating as it is, I don't really blame them. Since I have trouble understanding how neurotypical people think, despite most of the people around me being such, how could I demand for my parents to understand how I think when they only know a few people with aperger's syndrome? As long as they keep trying I'm cool with it... even if it sometimes feels like they aren't even trying.



MjrMajorMajor
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19 Jan 2017, 8:46 am

Spiderpig wrote:
All the time. They’re quick to come to the conclusion that I’m ret*d.


this, despite the fact I am quite intelligent. I just don't have the grease to ease the social wheels. :(



IstominFan
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19 Jan 2017, 10:08 am

Most people treat me as an adult and many even realize I'm knowledgeable on certain topics. I always worry that my newness in social settings and my ineptitude will be exposed. However, a lot of people tell me I'm too hard on myself.



This_Amoeba
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19 Jan 2017, 12:26 pm

I've had people talk to me like I'm a 5 year old and ask me "do you need me to spell that for you?" It's really degrading. I think they assume I'm stupid because I'm quiet and my voice sounds like a little girl at times, usually when I'm forcing myself to talk. My body language and the way I stare is probably unusual too, which makes people think I'm crazy. I try not to get offended but in my head I imagine punching them.



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19 Jan 2017, 1:17 pm

Yes. All the time at my job.


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idonthaveanickname
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19 Jan 2017, 2:28 pm

Oh yes, I've been treated like a child plenty of times. In particular, by my stepmom, but she just doesn't understand Asperger's. I remember one time when I was living with her and my dad with my daughter, she put a note on my bedroom door telling me to clean my room. I confronted her about it, asking her why she's treating me like a child. She said it's because I act like one. Then I told her that that doesn't give her the right to treat me like one. And another time, when I moved in with my sister, she gave me this booklet of rules to follow. Rules? Really? I was 29 years old at the time and I felt like I was back in one of those homeless shelters or something. So there's a couple of examples of me being treated like a child. Yes, I may act like a child sometimes, but I have Asperger's for crying out loud!



Odysseus84
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19 Jan 2017, 3:43 pm

I usually don't "come out" as on the spectrum for this exact reason. Practically every person to whom I have come out has started treating me like a child. Case example would be a financial office of student aid worker at my university starting to have that "talking to a child voice" when I told her I was on the spectrum. All I wanted was to not be bothered for my lack of eye contact. That was all. I hate it so much too.


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The Unleasher
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19 Jan 2017, 3:46 pm

I'm not an adult, luckily and unluckily. I do feel as some people treat me too sensitive sometimes. I also feel as others are just, distant towards me. My mother, who does not have a neurological disorder, says people treated her like that as well. She used to be shy, so everyone thought she was snotty. Anyway, one of my teachers wanted to yell at some people who disliked me (not for disliking me, for other issues) He let them go. He said, "I won't do anything, being stupid is their punishment." A little harsh, but he does have a point.

As for adults, I met adults who aren't on the spectrum and act childish. In return, they're treated like children. Everyone in the real world is treated how they act.. I've also met people who I assume are on the spectrum and they're treated like how they act, so either childish or quite mature. I have met many mature autistic people, I think the antisocialness adds to it. Well, this is just my uneducated take on it.


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DestinedToBeAPotato
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19 Jan 2017, 7:03 pm

Yes all the time. I feel that it stems from the high pitched voice I have when I am uncomfortable. It probably sounds infantile to a lot of people, so they automatically speak to me in a *baby talk voice* "hello darling, are you alright?!" kind of way.


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adoylelb90815
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19 Jan 2017, 7:14 pm

It's happened in the past where I had been treated like a child, but I cut off all contact with the worst offenders in that area. I found that at 41, I'm more likely to be treated like an adult these days, possibly because I'm starting to look my age, with a few gray hairs that are noticeable.



CockneyRebel
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19 Jan 2017, 11:30 pm

I work as a greeter at a bank and there's the odd person who walks right into my personal space and asks me, "Do you work here?" while giving me intense eye-contact. I tell them that I do and I get payed to do so. I've had one customer ask me two years ago, "Is today a special day?" I told them that it wasn't and the customer asked, "Why are you working here, then?" I told her that I'm a payed employee.


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Trekkie83
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20 Jan 2017, 6:55 am

The case that immediately springs to mind happened when I was 18 (having just started college) and my parents dragged me to see this Autism/Asperger's expert. Her attitude just seemed so patronizing and I felt like she was treating me as if I were half my age (at most). I was so insulted/annoyed by her attitude that I refused to go back and it probably contributed to my spending the next 15 years in denial (about being Autistic).



Fraser_1990
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20 Jan 2017, 7:06 am

I feel like i'm being patronized a lot. But then.... is it just me misreading the situation? Am I really being patronized? I'm not so sure.


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20 Jan 2017, 11:59 am

I find that I get treated like I'm way younger than I am, even by people who are my age. That's when it bothers me the most. I also can't stand it when health care professionals act like I'm still a little child even though they know my actual age. I try to act mature and like my age, so I'm not sure what the problem is.


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slw1990
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21 Jan 2017, 1:36 am

Fraser_1990 wrote:
I feel like i'm being patronized a lot. But then.... is it just me misreading the situation? Am I really being patronized? I'm not so sure.


Maybe you could see how they treat other people and compare it to how they treat you?