Do you find it easier to make Non-NT friends than NT friends

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Noca
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08 Oct 2015, 5:57 pm

Does anyone else find it easier to make friends with people who are "different", non-NT(not necessarily ASD) than NT people? Throughout my life, my closest friends have always been those who stood out, and were different/unique, I found I related to those people the best. Has anyone else had similar experiences when making friendships?


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Rudin
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08 Oct 2015, 6:27 pm

Quote:
non-NT(not necessarily ASD)


Thank you Noca. The term NT is stupid in my opinion. For instance, using the current definition of NT a person with OCD or ADHD is a NT. If the definition of NT was what it should be then people with ADHD, OCD and Tourette's should all be "non-NTs".


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08 Oct 2015, 8:19 pm

Rudin wrote:
Quote:
non-NT(not necessarily ASD)


Thank you Noca. The term NT is stupid in my opinion. For instance, using the current definition of NT a person with OCD or ADHD is a NT. If the definition of NT was what it should be then people with ADHD, OCD and Tourette's should all be "non-NTs".

I come from the land of tumblr where neurotypical seems to mean no mental, psychological, or neuro conditions at all. Oddly ive never seen people on there yell at eachother about it either (yelly, yelly place).

But yeah i always end up with the weirder kids. Most social groups i end up in are based on shared taste in music and apparently studies found that metal and punk are really good for coping w anger and anxiety and s**t, so were all messed up :P


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08 Oct 2015, 9:17 pm

I have to say yes, throughout my life I've mostly had friends with an ASD or another type of disability



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08 Oct 2015, 10:24 pm

Rudin wrote:
Quote:
non-NT(not necessarily ASD)


Thank you Noca. The term NT is stupid in my opinion. For instance, using the current definition of NT a person with OCD or ADHD is a NT. If the definition of NT was what it should be then people with ADHD, OCD and Tourette's should all be "non-NTs".

Yeah, I was under the impression that those were under the umbrella term of neurodiverse as in aspie/autie people are neurodiverse or neurodivergent I've also seen. Then, correspondingly NT are people with no psychological or neurological issues etc. BUT non-autistic people have been coined allistic. Just some terminology we don't have to marry ourselves to it. Although, I find the term NT to be very handy/helpful.

In response to the question: I've always been friends with ASD or neurodiverse people the very very few NT friendships burn and die quickly and horrifically. The more NT-ish friendships I've had have been with neurotypical "normal" people but that have perhaps physical handicaps or are part of the LGBTQIA+ community.



Joe90
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09 Oct 2015, 3:19 pm

I have friends who aren't NTs. One of my friends has Fragile-X, and has difficulties making friends. Another friend of mine has severe learning delays, but is high-functioning. A lot of people at his work respect his learning difficulties because they can see by just looking at him that he is special needs, but he can do a part time job. And another friend of mine I believe is on the Autism spectrum but denies it. She is very socially awkward, takes things literally, has emotional outbursts at home (she told me), and has a special interest with those Japanese anime things. But it is so much harder to know for sure that a girl has AS, because to me they just come across as highly anxious and eccentric, like me.
Oh and my other friend is Autistic, was diagnosed with Autism when he was 4. And I have a friend who is older than me who seems rather eccentric and odd and hyperactive, but I think she might have ADHD, but I'm not certain. She comes across as chatty, and she is, but she isn't very good at keeping friends.

My boyfriend is NT, though. But we get along great. Funny how I can't seem to keep NT friends very well, but I can keep a healthy romantic relationship with an NT.


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TheAP
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09 Oct 2015, 3:28 pm

When I was younger, most of my friends were NTs. But now, the only people who seem to want to be friends with me are people with autism. I only have 3 friends that would consider me a friend, and all of them have autism.



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09 Oct 2015, 4:36 pm

Definately yes. I find NTs indimidating. I don't understand their social rules and I don't fit in. I always feel a bit lost in a very NT environment and I start to feel really upset because everyone else seems to know what's going on and I don't. The more quirky types are more easy going and we just tend to get along.

The NT tuypes only seem to tolerate me too, like they will try and include me because they feel sorry for me. I just don't belong in NT circles. And I know that sounds terribly judgemental, but I'm not saying they are bad people, it's just we think differently and I can't seem to manage to fit in no matter how nice they are to me.

I have one NT friend and we have nothing in common, but she's really nice and friendly and we just get on well. I am amazed she keeps in touch or gets anything out of this friendship because I'm not as warm and bubbly as she is, but she seems to like me. I'm always worried I'm going to end up hurting her feelings, but so far so good. Maybe I'm learning to be more tactful or something.



Joe90
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09 Oct 2015, 11:49 pm

It often hurts that I can't seem to make friends with NTs in general. I mean, I don't lack as many social skills as some Aspies do. I can instantly recognise body language and other non-verbal things in people, can empathise, get and enjoy jokes, make eye contact, know how to use white lies to avoid being rude or offensive, have social imagination when it comes to emotions, can express my own feelings well, can engage in small talk, and never go on and on about my obsessions (don't have any anyway). Yet I still can't form close relationships with NT people. I get forgotten, left out, and just feel ostracized.


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10 Oct 2015, 12:17 am

I don't find it easy to make friends with anyone

I haven't ever openly met someone else on the spectrum but I suspect some people I go to school with probably are but it actually isn't easier at all it seems maybe even harder as they seem pretty aloof and uninterested. I often wonder what people think about me, I really have no idea how I am perceived from an outside perspective so maybe that's how I come off I dunno. Nothing is easy. I'm so anxious, I can't ever follow the conversations people are having, I just stay quiet most of the time in fear of humiliating myself but that makes me look bad too so I can't win.



redrobin62
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10 Oct 2015, 12:39 am

I don't know if the people I've hanged out with were NT or non-NT, but they all were definitely outside of the norm.



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10 Oct 2015, 12:43 am

Not exactly....its more I get along with more unconventional people on the fringes of society, which includes an assortment of neurodiverse and neurotypical individuals. But yes I find it easier to make friends with those types than the ones that are in the know of modern society and the trends and what's 'normal' according to society.


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10 Oct 2015, 7:00 am

Yes, always. In fact, now that you mention it, I don't think I really have any friends I would consider plain normal. Although I have acquaintances that I consider normal, we don't really talk much. My best friends have always been a bit different, of a different culture, sexual orientation, tough backgrounds, etc...although not necessarily AS, I think many of them are a bit different. Many of the women I do believe are either AD/HD or AS undiagnosed.



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10 Oct 2015, 7:25 am

To be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure about what NT is.


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EzraS
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12 Oct 2015, 1:19 am

Online it's easy for me to make friends with NT people and the like. In real life I am mainly around special needs kids, so not much choice.



InquisitiveCat01
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12 Oct 2015, 10:22 pm

Yes - much easier to be friends with "quirky" or "different" people for me. I relate to people on the spectrum and to people with mental illness a lot better.