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AspieAlphys28
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10 Dec 2015, 3:32 pm

Hi im ray and ive pretty much known for a really long time that im an aspie.. .I talked to my mom about it and we agreed that i fit like 99% of all the criteria of aspergers/asd... but she says that im really good recognizing peoples reactions to things i say and subtle social cues and i guess shes right? she has this "im your mom i know things about your better than you do" mentality which i hate. i want to know that even if i dont struggle with those things as much as i do sensory things, fitting in to (or even being near) crowds, and other things, im still right on my diagnosis :?

tl;dr- my mom says i can understand some social and people skills really well, so she thinks that i cant be on the autistic spectrum. is this true? :heart: thank you!


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~Pika Pikachu!

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 154 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

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TheAP
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10 Dec 2015, 4:39 pm

I think you can still have Asperger's. You don't have to have every single trait.



Soomander
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10 Dec 2015, 4:44 pm

The characteristics a person encounters in their ASD varies from person to person. Though not understanding social cues and facial expressions is arguably the most common(possibly the quintessential) characterisitc of a person with an ASD it's not a guaranteed thing. I'd recommend you get a professional diagonisis.



marcb0t
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10 Dec 2015, 5:02 pm

AspieAlphys28 wrote:
Hi im ray and ive pretty much known for a really long time that im an aspie.. .I talked to my mom about it and we agreed that i fit like 99% of all the criteria of aspergers/asd... but she says that im really good recognizing peoples reactions to things i say and subtle social cues and i guess shes right? she has this "im your mom i know things about your better than you do" mentality which i hate. i want to know that even if i dont struggle with those things as much as i do sensory things, fitting in to (or even being near) crowds, and other things, im still right on my diagnosis :?

tl;dr- my mom says i can understand some social and people skills really well, so she thinks that i cant be on the autistic spectrum. is this true? :heart: thank you!

Obviously, we're not trained professionals where we can give you any official or conclusive answer.

However, my worthless opinion on the matter (based on my knowledge base and experience) is this; we don't have to match with every single thing listed in the DMV-V to be considered on the autism spectrum. There are 3 categories, and a person only has to have one of the symptoms from each... technically. Now this will change depending on the professional's interpretation. But yeah, there are Aspies who are fairly decent with being social, or are extroverted and friendly. There was one person on this website who was really good with facial expressions because it was a special interest of theirs. Hey, that's not a bad idea. :P

I'm not officially diagnosed, but do have some symptoms that can be really obvious at times. I can recognize some reactions and facial cues. Sometimes I miss it, and sometimes I make inappropriate eye contact without even realizing it.

I like to think of myself as half aspie, and half NT, or perhaps a word like "halfspie" would be descriptive. But my thinking is fundamentally different than NT's, and relate much better to people with Autism.

Keep in mind that picking up on social cues is something that CAN be learned later on in life for some people on the spectrum. Maybe you just learned as you grew up how to recognize certain behaviors and emotions in others. Perhaps your parents were just really good at teaching you this. But I'm just speculating. My dad taught me a lot about empathy, and caring for other people, and it became apart of who I am.

Really, autism is a different experience for everyone. That's why they call it a spectrum, because not everyone has ALL the same issues. As the adage goes, "If you've met one person with autism, you've only just met one person with autism."


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Claradoon
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10 Dec 2015, 5:15 pm

Apply the same logic to physical problems and it might become more clear. For example, my sister's inflamed appendix was in the wrong place in her body - her appendix had "travelled." Her symptoms weren't exactly as doctors expect so they couldn't diagnose. It was Mom that told them it was appendix and they should get on with it.

It's the same with many physical maladies - symptoms don't quite line up the same as in the diagnosis book. We're human; we don't become tick-off lists.

So how about if you suggest this to your mother. No human is a prize-model of anything. As for autism, there is no symptom that over-rides all others - as there is for contagious diseases. The distinctive cough of whooping cough, for example. The rash of measles, and so on.

Some people have autism-lite. I don't like the cutesy of the phrase but it might build a bridge over to your mother and perhaps in your own thinking if your have a puzzlement somewhere.

Of course your mother wants to save you and is instinctively opposed to any problems for you. It will be a battle to get her on to the road to acceptance so that she can accompany you on the road to building a good life.

It would be well worth the try, though. Take it slow with her, show her how successful an aspie can be. As a mother, I think it would be terrifying to have an *unusual* child. She wants you to be "normal" and live happily ever after. Try to sweeten the dose, a little at a time, to get rid of the huge obnoxious terrifying vision of a disease. It's just a brain adjustment and she can help you with the behavioural adjustments (social skills). I think that would be right in her mother's handbook.



AspieAlphys28
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10 Dec 2015, 6:06 pm

Quote:
Obviously, we're not trained professionals where we can give you any official or conclusive answer.

However, my worthless opinion on the matter (based on my knowledge base and experience) is this; we don't have to match with every single thing listed in the DMV-V to be considered on the autism spectrum. There are 3 categories, and a person only has to have one of the symptoms from each... technically. Now this will change depending on the professional's interpretation. But yeah, there are Aspies who are fairly decent with being social, or are extroverted and friendly. There was one person on this website who was really good with facial expressions because it was a special interest of theirs. Hey, that's not a bad idea. :P

I'm not officially diagnosed, but do have some symptoms that can be really obvious at times. I can recognize some reactions and facial cues. Sometimes I miss it, and sometimes I make inappropriate eye contact without even realizing it.

I like to think of myself as half aspie, and half NT, or perhaps a word like "halfspie" would be descriptive. But my thinking is fundamentally different than NT's, and relate much better to people with Autism.

Keep in mind that picking up on social cues is something that CAN be learned later on in life for some people on the spectrum. Maybe you just learned as you grew up how to recognize certain behaviors and emotions in others. Perhaps your parents were just really good at teaching you this. But I'm just speculating. My dad taught me a lot about empathy, and caring for other people, and it became apart of who I am.

Really, autism is a different experience for everyone. That's why they call it a spectrum, because not everyone has ALL the same issues. As the adage goes, "If you've met one person with autism, you've only just met one person with autism."


aaah this was very helpful thank you!! ! i like that term halfspie... very catchy! it made me smile to see that im not alone, i was afraid that i was different from everyone and i was kind of in this in-between-neurotypical-and-autistic purgatory that nobody would understand! i guess in a sense, analyzing people and their feelings is kind of a fixation to me! i am very hyper-empathetic as i learned, and i can pick up on acute details in what people are feeling or saying, so my noticing social cues could possibly be influenced by that? hmm. anyways though, this was a super helpful response! maybe once i get the courage i can use your comment as backup and show it to my mom! maybe one day ill be professionally diagnosed or something but for now im happy with being a cool Halfspie :D


_________________
~Pika Pikachu!

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 154 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

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AspieAlphys28
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Joined: 8 Dec 2015
Age: 21
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10 Dec 2015, 6:20 pm

Claradoon wrote:
Apply the same logic to physical problems and it might become more clear. For example, my sister's inflamed appendix was in the wrong place in her body - her appendix had "travelled." Her symptoms weren't exactly as doctors expect so they couldn't diagnose. It was Mom that told them it was appendix and they should get on with it.

It's the same with many physical maladies - symptoms don't quite line up the same as in the diagnosis book. We're human; we don't become tick-off lists.

So how about if you suggest this to your mother. No human is a prize-model of anything. As for autism, there is no symptom that over-rides all others - as there is for contagious diseases. The distinctive cough of whooping cough, for example. The rash of measles, and so on.

Some people have autism-lite. I don't like the cutesy of the phrase but it might build a bridge over to your mother and perhaps in your own thinking if your have a puzzlement somewhere.

Of course your mother wants to save you and is instinctively opposed to any problems for you. It will be a battle to get her on to the road to acceptance so that she can accompany you on the road to building a good life.

It would be well worth the try, though. Take it slow with her, show her how successful an aspie can be. As a mother, I think it would be terrifying to have an *unusual* child. She wants you to be "normal" and live happily ever after. Try to sweeten the dose, a little at a time, to get rid of the huge obnoxious terrifying vision of a disease. It's just a brain adjustment and she can help you with the behavioural adjustments (social skills). I think that would be right in her mother's handbook.


thats a very good comparison! hopefully i can convince her using something around those lines, metaphors are very helpful to me, maybe it would help her too! also, it is very clear that my mom wants me to be "normal and perfect", this isnt a new discovery, haha! i was picked on a lot when i was really young for being my weird self, and i dont think she wants that to happen again. the last time this came up, i came out as gay when i was about 12 years old, and she told me not to tell too many people because its probably not true. i know that shes trying to do the right thing and she wants me to be safe, but its very frustrating! thank you very much, i will definitely take your advice here :D


_________________
~Pika Pikachu!

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 154 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

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