Why do people feel entitled to out people as autistic?

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It seems like a lot of people just tell people someone else is autistic without thinking. They never bother to get permission or even think about the impact. They also don't think about how people will thoughtlessly spread it around. Why do they do that?

They think we are to stupid to figure out we have been outed, or to notice the negative effects.

It's a form of, or display of, privilege. They either don't even consider that it might make the person feel bad because it makes them feel so good to notify everyone, or they do it to other the person or distance themselves from the person socially so as not to be "weird" by association. And then there are those who do it because they honestly think they are "helping". It's still a sign of privilege, but in my mind a less antagonistic one - until they are told to stop.

Now that I think of it, any time I remember having anything to hide, anyone knowing it seemingly couldn't wait to give me away, especially if they knew I didn't want them to. It didn't matter how frowned upon snitching was otherwise, and they certainly were met with general approval, rather than being shunned. I guess I simply don't command enough respect, or perhaps I should say fear.

I'm sorry. If they knew you didn't want it "given away", then they are to blame, not you. It's not just impolite, it's mean and controlling.

People gossip. that's the way humans are.
I have overheard people I didn't even know say I was autistic and I don't talk about it or tell anyone except on WP.
But it's not something bad so I don't care.

i dont say to mockery....

...

They may not realise that it's something you want to keep a secret, so they don't see it as "outing" someone, just mentioning an aspect of the person.

You may need to explicitly tell people that this information is a secret (preferably you tell them, rather than after). If that's not enough then be more careful who you tell. That's really the only control you have over any sensitive information: who you give it to. The only way to be sure no-one shares it is to share it with no-one.

It's less of an "Entitlement" and more of an "Obligation" from most peoples point of view.

If your building a relationship with someone, and you don't tell them about your Autism, then your essentially building that relationship on a foundation of lies and deceit.

There are people who are extremely bad at keeping secrets to themselves.
They need to tell someone else. It "creates trust" between them and the person they tell.

I don't tell people about it. People find out through my parents or my medical files.


I don't really believe I'm truly autistic. That's the main reason I want to keep my diagnosis a secret.

Really, I don't have this problem. The people who I'm around in everyday life don't really care too much anyway. I don't really talk about it that much, and nor would it really effect or change anything.

But I can see that some people like to blab about other people's ailments or special situations in life. So yeah, if this is a problem for you, then simply don't talk about it, or just go about your life as normal. If other people want to make a big deal about it even after you tell them to stop, then they are not worth your time to worry about.

A true friend will respect your privacy and not single you out like that. I have friends online not on this message board. One of them confided in me that they had autism. But I do not go around blabbing this to people online in circles who know this person. I don't even share it privately with other people on this board. I just feel that's the best way to respect this friend I have. It's not my business to share. It would feel like a betrayal of trust to blab this around.

This sounds like something you should be telling your friends...

If they really are your friends, then they'll accept you no matter what, and if they reject you, well, did you really want to be friends with such shallow people? Also, friends in the know make for excellent sources of honest criticism, which may lead to constructive criticism.

We tend to find out more about ourselves from those around us. I can see where your coming from, you want to create a big fuss over something that might not even be true. That's understandable, however you don't know for sure that your really Autism free. You would never have joined this place if you really believed there wasn't the slightest chance that you had Autism.

What's simpler? Telling your friends that you were diagnosed with autism and don't really believe that diagnosis is correct or simply never saying anything? I don't want to be treated like I'm autistic. Even if I actually am autistic, it doesn't mean I want to be treated like I am.

It doesn't have to do much with acceptance, it has more to do with the way people treat me. Someone may "accept" me, but I'll still be the "autistic girl".

I joined when I was fourteen. I wasn't questioning my diagnosis. I

Sometimes, it's not about doing the easy thing. It's about doing what's right thing.


Hmm... I should write fortune cookies. Universal wisdom this insightful (and compact) needs to be shared.



Most people with Autism get treated like everybody else, especially if their Autism is mostly superficial.



...am now?

You kind of fell away there after the last "I".