35 years old just know finding out I have aspergers

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My son has aspergers. I figured his mom was just trying to find something wrong with him.
But as this has played out and things became more clear .... I went to get tested and they say I have it too.
My whole life has been so strange to me and the most f'd up meltdowns that I never could explain where they came from.
I always thought I was right .... I was a super villain for justice.... Now I am just trying to come to terms with all of this and sometimes I feel even more alone and an outcast than I have ever felt befor.
I feel so lost when I try to make sense out of all this

You are definitely not alone. I was diagnosed (after my daughter was) in February at the age of 44. It was quite a relief at first but I'm still reconciling a lot of things. I found a therapist and that is helping. I also read as many books as I could on late diagnosis. One of the best ones for me was Michael John Carley's Asperger's From the Inside Out (I think it is downloadable as an ebook). He talks about a lot of the things you might experience or go through.

You'll also find many people on this site (WP) who will be glad to help or listen. I've found a lot of peace through reading the forums and engaging in the discussions. It really helped me.

It certainly can be confusing and frightining to find out at lot assumptions you have made about yourself were wrong. It is common for adults to find out they are on the Autism spectrum as a result of thier child's diagnosis. For a lot of us the Aspergers explanation instead of the charactor flaw explanation for the way things happened the way they did in our lives can be a relief. But it can take some time to get to that place. Best let your autistic brain (I realize that reading "your autistic brain" is quite jarring at first) process this information how it needs to when it needs to.

I didn't find out until I was 41. And that was because I ran into a psychiatrist at a coffee shop. At first. I never believed it, until I got home and look it up on the internet, and boy, I was in for a shock. At first. I was excited to finally get an answer for something that had eluded me all my life. But the really hard part was learning that there was no cure for it and that was the part that really hit me hard. So I know how you feel. We all been there.

Take time to processing your diagnosis. There are many good articles to read. Review your life through a new lens and come to terms with who you are. I've spent years trying to let go of the pain and anger.

Welcome, it is an eye opener.

I was diagnosed in my mid-40's. Took me a long time to get my head around it but it sure did answer the questions of "why I did that" for events all through my life back as far as I can remember.

When all was said and done, being diagnosed was a big positive for me.

You will eventually come to a place of acceptance of not just your child, but yourself, and from there, things get better.

I was diagnosed about 3 years ago at age 46. I found it was a relief to finally have a reason for things in my life that I couldn't explain to people. I had long ago accepted what I was like, but had no idea there was actually a reason behind it.

Anyway, if your a reader, I would wholeheartedly recommend any book written by Olga Bogdashina. She is one of the very few writers out there who understands the subject. Most books that I've read by various world authorities are wrong wrong wrong.