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0_equals_true
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18 Apr 2007, 11:24 am

I'm not leaving :lol:

Does anybody have a problem when people say "I'm leaving" when they are going somewhere but instead of leaving then take 10-30mins or more before they go. I rather people would actually tell me this then go.

I don't know why it makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe because its not true. I just feel uncomfortable till they leave. Sometimes I have to say “aren’t you going yet?” or “when are you leaving?”, etc. Especially find it hard if they then try to talk to after they said they are leaving what is all that about? People who do that can be really flustery and running all over the place it makes me nervous. Doesn't anyone just leave like me?

I think it is because I like time on my own.. If they say they leaving and then don't make any noise I'd be ok.



Sedaka
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18 Apr 2007, 11:26 am

i'd say yes.... but i'll do this too cause when i get up to go... i realize i've lost my keys or somethin and it takes me 10-30 min to find them :oops: :oops: :oops:


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0_equals_true
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18 Apr 2007, 11:28 am

Sedaka wrote:
i'd say yes.... but i'll do this too cause when i get up to go... i realize i've lost my keys or somethin and it takes me 10-30 min to find them :oops: :oops: :oops:

yep I loose my keys too. But I try not to say I'm leaving more than once or bother them.

A lot of the time it doesn’t matter if they tell me. It is like they need my permission or something.



KBABZ
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18 Apr 2007, 11:32 am

It can happen anywhere. At the airport for instance:

"Okay, bye honey! Have a nice trip back home!"
"Thanks, I love you!" *walks down the terminal*


*runs back*
"Forgot my suitcase!"
*other person feels awkward about whether to say farewell again*


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0_equals_true
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18 Apr 2007, 11:39 am

KBABZ wrote:
It can happen anywhere. At the airport for instance:

"Okay, bye honey! Have a nice trip back home!"
"Thanks, I love you!" *walks down the terminal*


*runs back*
"Forgot my suitcase!"
*other person feels awkward about whether to say farewell again*

yeh it's horrible. How many time do you think you can take before you loose it?



KBABZ
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18 Apr 2007, 11:42 am

0_equals_true wrote:
KBABZ wrote:
It can happen anywhere. At the airport for instance:

"Okay, bye honey! Have a nice trip back home!"
"Thanks, I love you!" *walks down the terminal*


*runs back*
"Forgot my suitcase!"
*other person feels awkward about whether to say farewell again*

yeh it's horrible. How many time do you think you can take before you loose it?

6-7 times. I'd get annoyed at the 4th time.


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KimJ
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18 Apr 2007, 11:46 am

I hate it and I do it. Sorry. :D

We have to really curb doing it because my son has learned to wait until you are threatening his whole videogame collection before getting ready to leave. For instance, we don't put on our shoes until we leave the house. So, he won't put them on until we are almost late.
he's literal, we get ready when we leave. If I'm running around the house for some mysterious reason, while saying I'm leaving-it causes chaos and he'll start to find something else to do.
When I was a kid, we were just put in the car and had to wait for our parents to come outside. "And don't honk the horn either!"



sf_aspie
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18 Apr 2007, 1:32 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Does anybody have a problem when people say "I'm leaving" when they are going somewhere but instead of leaving then take 10-30mins or more before they go. I rather people would actually tell me this then go.

Agreed! I have a lot of difficulty with goodbye/departure interactions. One of the most confusing things for me are timing issues. From my perspective, the relationship between when people say goodbye and when they actually part is weak. I find it very frustrating when people signal a departure (saying goodbye, getting up, moving toward the exit) and then extend the interaction for another ten or twenty minutes.

I find the lack of precision to be rude, but realize this is normal for many people.

I dislike saying goodbye...so please don't make me go through the ritual multiple times!



ZanneMarie
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18 Apr 2007, 1:37 pm

It bothers me as well Zero. There are just some people like this. Time isn't that important to them. There are also people who are chronically late and they also drive me crazy. I get obsessed over the ten minutes of my life that is messed up over them saying they will be there at a certain time and then consistently being ten minutes late.



richardbenson
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18 Apr 2007, 1:54 pm

this sounds like "being on time" im very pirticular about being ontime and get upset like you wouldnt belive if something is in the way of me being ontime


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GoatOnFire
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18 Apr 2007, 1:55 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Does anybody have a problem when people say "I'm leaving" when they are going somewhere but instead of leaving then take 10-30mins or more before they go. I rather people would actually tell me this then go.


My family is terrible about that.


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SmallFruitSong
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18 Apr 2007, 11:13 pm

I'm actually the one who says, "I'm leaving!" then keeps staying :lol:

I guess it's because I enjoy their company so much and I can't stop talking ;)


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Zhaozhou
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19 Apr 2007, 7:23 am

0_equals_true wrote:
Does anybody have a problem when people say "I'm leaving" when they are going somewhere but instead of leaving then take 10-30mins or more before they go. I rather people would actually tell me this then go.

It seems to be a tecnique. Pick-up artist Mystery mentions it in his book. The idea is that people may be frightened to know you are going to stay there for a lot of time, but if you tell them you are gonna leave they will think they can try to enjoy your presence. After they do enjoy it, you will tell them you are gonna leave again, so they will try to make you stay.



0_equals_true
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19 Apr 2007, 7:41 am

Zhaozhou wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
Does anybody have a problem when people say "I'm leaving" when they are going somewhere but instead of leaving then take 10-30mins or more before they go. I rather people would actually tell me this then go.

It seems to be a tecnique. Pick-up artist Mystery mentions it in his book. The idea is that people may be frightened to know you are going to stay there for a lot of time, but if you tell them you are gonna leave they will think they can try to enjoy your presence. After they do enjoy it, you will tell them you are gonna leave again, so they will try to make you stay.

Yeh but I don't want to be picked up it makes me uncomforable



Zhaozhou
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19 Apr 2007, 8:25 am

0_equals_true wrote:
Yeh but I don't want to be picked up it makes me uncomforable

This is a trouble since Mystery explains how to attract people, not the reversal. I don't think the tecnique is reversible, and I never heard of counters :?

By the way, I had troubles with this, too. I was talking with my flatmates, when one of them kept saying it was time for him to go to bed; I left the room :oops: I asked him about it and indeed he says things like that on purpose.



Tequila
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19 Apr 2007, 8:30 am

It's the same anywhere, particularly in the pub. It takes them about three pints from when they first say they leave to when they actually go. In fact, sometimes it gets on my nerves. If you're ready to go just tell me you're leaving and then do so. Not hard, is it?