your experiences with selective mutism.

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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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03 Jan 2016, 4:53 pm

When I first started going to school, I was anything but mute. Quite the opposite, in fact. I appeared to lack both volume control and an off switch. I am sure you can imagine the difficulty that ensued. As the years passed and I got into more and more trouble for being a loud mouth, which reached the zenith in the sixth grade where I was labeled "Loudmouth" in a publication the teachers wrote about their sixth grade classes each year as a roast of sorts, though some of us seemed to experience more cooking than others. It was after this I think the selective mutism first appeared. I recall being annoyed and kind of bothered by that publication but perhaps I didn't realize how much so? I was contemplating my selective mutism last night, trying to pin point where it began because it definitely isn't something I always had but I have had it now since before secondary school began. So, I wondered what triggered it. Then I remembered that stupid paper one teacher published to get even with students every year and how irritated I was but I didn't think I was irritated enough to stop talking in certain situations. Past that point, I think I might have said a total of six words to teachers the rest of the time, up through high school. I did become exceptionally mute and uncommunicative around them. I never wanted to talk with them. Now there are times I am mute. Still do not like speaking with authority figures. Sometimes I experience symptoms of a panic attack while doing so. This pattern doesn't mesh with what I have read about the typical manifestation of selective mutism even though it does with the definition of not speaking in certain situations even though one might be an above average communicator. Anyone have any experiences with this?



Noca
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03 Jan 2016, 8:34 pm

Man I don't know what kind of school you went to. Your teacher had some sort of public roasts and published criqitues of students for everyone else to read? That is pretty rough. I guess your teacher's critique must have traumatized you in some way that causes you to feel anxiety around authority figures to this day.

I was I guess you could call selectively mute before age 18. I had no social skills whatsoever, and the only topics that I could talk about were either Lego or video games, if it wasn't one of those, I just didn't speak. People would constantly say to each other right in front of me "why doesn't he speak?" "why won't he say anything?". I eventually watched countless hours of sitcoms and assimiliated enough speech from them that I don't have selective mutism anymore and I can socialize somewhat normally(although still struggle with certain aspie related issues).



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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04 Jan 2016, 1:52 am

Noca wrote:
Man I don't know what kind of school you went to. Your teacher had some sort of public roasts and published criqitues of students for everyone else to read? That is pretty rough. I guess your teacher's critique must have traumatized you in some way that causes you to feel anxiety around authority figures to this day.

I was I guess you could call selectively mute before age 18. I had no social skills whatsoever, and the only topics that I could talk about were either Lego or video games, if it wasn't one of those, I just didn't speak. People would constantly say to each other right in front of me "why doesn't he speak?" "why won't he say anything?". I eventually watched countless hours of sitcoms and assimiliated enough speech from them that I don't have selective mutism anymore and I can socialize somewhat normally(although still struggle with certain aspie related issues).



EzraS
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04 Jan 2016, 2:57 am

Well I started out nonverbal autistic and didn't start saying any words until age 8. These days through after a lot of speech therapy I'm capable of string out rehearsed sentences like, "I'm fine, how are you?" but a lot of the time I can not get any words to come out and am selectively mute.



Jimothy1669
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04 Jan 2016, 12:28 pm

That certainly sounds like your mutism could be at least partially related to what your teachers said about you. I was selectively mute until I was about 7, which was put down to anxiety at the time. My family and psych now think, however, that it had a lot to do with my parents telling me not to talk to strangers, and me interpreting that excessively literally (I spoke fine around my parents, but nobody else), which I think is in some ways similar to what you experienced. I started speaking the day we got a dog, however, and am a lot better than I used to be.



LtlPinkCoupe
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04 Jan 2016, 7:37 pm

During my next-to-last semester of college, I barely spoke at all....at least, it felt that way. My dad was beginning to experience moderate health issues, my stepmom kind of took everything over and assumed that I wasn't as affected or worried over it (I WAS worried, all the d@mn time, not that she cared), and my roommate was always gone and never really acknowledged me when I did speak, anyway (not even when I just said "good morning" or "how was your day?"). She didn't even seem to notice when I got her a card for Easter (with sloths drawn on the envelope, since I knew she liked sloths). I would think about calling someone like my favorite aunt on the phone, and then decide, "nah....what the he** could I say that would be worthwhile anyway?" I just felt like if my saying anything would just be an annoyance or just simply ignored, then why talk at all.


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GodzillaWoman
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05 Jan 2016, 7:44 pm

Good God, what a horrible school. I think it sounds a bit like being singled out in such an awful way might lead to you to be afraid to speak. Maybe you need to learn to love the talkative part of yourself again.

What have you read about the manifestation of selective mutism? I'm curious.

My first manifestation was after a car wreck when I was four. I was hit in the head, and didn't speak for two days. The weird thing was, it seemed as though I had forgotten how to speak, or even that there was such a thing as speaking. I was unaware that people were speaking, although I could hear sounds like our friends' crying because they were scared by the wreck.

I didn't have another mutism episode until I was about 8 years old. We moved to a new state, and all the kids made fun of my accent and a slight stammer. Ever since then, the more upset I get, the harder it is to get the words out. I can think of the images of what I want to say but not the words. If I am upset enough, I can't think of any words at all, and can only gesture. I generally think in pictures and translate it to spoken words. If I am upset, the translator mechanism stops working.


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Starfoxx
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06 Jan 2016, 2:50 am

I had it until I was about 6. I just remember I was very shy and didn't want to talk much . In school I thought I was supposed to quiet because the class teacher always said for everyone to be quiet and work. I thought since I only spoke when I was spoken to or to ask a question I was a good kid. The idea that I shouldn't talk unnecessarily I still think is correct sometimes but my family have said it's not and I misunderstood. I was supposed to talk in class to other students sometimes. Thing is though if at primary school I learn one thing I will think it's true for life unless tgey say otherwise because school is supposed to be training for life.