Can Anyone Explain this Phenomenon?
I suspect this must be the case. Today at work (I decorate cakes at Walmart) I was making Easter cupcake cakes, and one of the boys from the deli next door looked over and asked what I was doing (this particular boy laughs at the things I say for no clear reason with frequency). I told him, "Making a baby chick," and he found this amusing. I asked why he was laughing, and one of the girls I work with said, "You're just cute, it's the way you say it!" I suppose there must have been something in my inflection which was the cause for his amusement. I do also look quite young. I'm 23, but no one would ever know by looking at me. Everyone who's ever guessed my age has always pegged me at about 14. I'm very small and slight as well (4'11" and 85 pounds) so I must give the impression of a tiny scrap of a child, then when I come out with long expressions and advanced vocabulary, it probably takes people aback. TNG's Data once said, "Humans often fear that which they do not understand, and they often mask that fear with laughter." Perhaps I should just assume that that is the reason for their inexplicable behaviour.
Keep in mind that young males sometimes tend to act goofy around females. He might just have a bit of a crush on you.
MissAlgernon
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I know what you mean. They know that I can't bear being touched which makes people obsessed with touching me, because it's apparently so funny to make someone scream or freeze from sensory overload I'm aware that they don't intend to be mean, so they obviously don't realize what they're doing, or otherwise they'd stop doing that. If only there were explanations that could be given to people, something clear enough to make them truly understand how the other side feels and that no, sensory overload is neither cute nor funny.
This thread is making me angry at NTs! This whole laughter thing is just disgusting. Before people stopped laughing at me talking, this is the comeback I used: "You know, laughter is one letter away from a slaughter." (slightly raising my voice at the end of the sentence) That resulted in more dropped jaws than laughing. I guess people really don't want to be a slaughterer, even toward an aspie they look down their nose on. Basically, I beat them at their own NT game.
Why such harsh attitude?. I view all laughter as intentionally malicious, unless I'm certain otherwise beyond all doubt. Those of you who still get laughed at "because you just are", you can use this Russian proverb for self-defense: "Laughter without a reason is a sign of stupidity." (It's not a laughing culture over there, although far from aspie-friendly, either.)
Wow, is this my secret twin saying this?!
Just kidding, but this actually happens to me all the time, and it is very annoying.
It even makes me upset at times, because it feels like they're not taking me seriously.
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Why such harsh attitude?. I view all laughter as intentionally malicious, unless I'm certain otherwise beyond all doubt. Those of you who still get laughed at "because you just are", you can use this Russian proverb for self-defense: "Laughter without a reason is a sign of stupidity." (It's not a laughing culture over there, although far from aspie-friendly, either.)
Thank you so much for this! I will definitely say this next time it happens to me (which is very often).
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StarTrekker
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Just kidding, but this actually happens to me all the time, and it is very annoying.
It even makes me upset at times, because it feels like they're not taking me seriously.
Exactly! That's often how I feel about it too, that they're so busy laughing because what I said is dorky or endearing, that they're not actually listening to what I said, and it feels like they think all my comments are just an aside for comedic effect, like "the funny character" in movies, and have no actual value.
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nerdygirl
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Why such harsh attitude?. I view all laughter as intentionally malicious, unless I'm certain otherwise beyond all doubt. Those of you who still get laughed at "because you just are", you can use this Russian proverb for self-defense: "Laughter without a reason is a sign of stupidity." (It's not a laughing culture over there, although far from aspie-friendly, either.)
There are different kinds of laughter, however, and all laughter should NOT be interpreted as malicious. If you interpret a light-hearted chuckle as malicious, you would be in the wrong. This is one of those things like learning body language. Different things mean different things. You can't judge all laughter this way. You will create more social barriers for yourself. It would be good to try and figure out which kind of laughter is which.
nerdygirl
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Just kidding, but this actually happens to me all the time, and it is very annoying.
It even makes me upset at times, because it feels like they're not taking me seriously.
Exactly! That's often how I feel about it too, that they're so busy laughing because what I said is dorky or endearing, that they're not actually listening to what I said, and it feels like they think all my comments are just an aside for comedic effect, like "the funny character" in movies, and have no actual value.
You have a choice, then. Get upset about the laughter, or take it for what it is. A light-hearted chuckle that signifies that you are liked and accepted. Getting all in a tizzy about it, however, is going to change that mentality and get you not accepted eventually. If something is that important, say it again.
How many times do Aspies space out and not get instructions? They want others to be patient with them. Show the same patience towards those who are laughing for no "good" reason.
I quickly followed suit, and descending into the bar-room accosted the grinning landlord very pleasantly. I cherished no malice towards him, though he had been skylarking with me not a little in the matter of my bedfellow. However, a good laugh is a mighty good thing, and rather too scarce a good thing; the more's the pity. So, if any one man, in his own proper person, afford stuff for a good joke to anybody, let him not be backward, but let him cheerfully allow himself to spend and be spent in that way. And the man that has anything bountifully laughable about him, be sure there is more in that man than you perhaps think for.
http://etcweb.princeton.edu/batke/moby/moby_005.html
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StarTrekker
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Hmm, maybe you're right Darmok, maybe I should just let it go and let them laugh. If they mean it kindly, so much the better, if not, well, their opinion is not one I would put much stock in anyway.
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My guess is that men who find me attractive and others who like me think it's "cute" and that everyone else probably finds it to be odd or annoying. Actually, now that I think about it, grown women say this to me too, sometimes. I guess they must think I'm very young, but I don't know.
Anyway, I usually have no idea why what I said was cute, and the answer I get is usually "it just is." Or I get "You're so cute." I ask "Why?" and the response, "You just are."
Probably this^.
The OP probably says things in odd unique ways. Thats why folks call her "cute". That in conjuction with being a young female who is also visually cute. Maybe the things she says are insightful.
If the OP can remember specific things that she said that provoked that reaction we might be able explain why what says comes off as odd.
I don't sense that the people in the cake-icing section mean StarTrekker any harm.
I wish I were there to see what's going on there.
But StarTrekker strikes me as a nice person--and probably cute besides.
I would agree that I would want to be listened to, though, and not just thought of as being "cute."
She strikes me as a highly intelligent and often serious person, and I am guessing that she probably would like to be taken more seriously and respected for those qualities. I think sometimes small women in general do have trouble being taken seriously and thought of as mature adults, only because they often appear to be younger.
I'm a short man, and I'm not often taken seriously.
In fact, I'm the Court Jester of the office.
I never thought about it applying to men as well. I'll have to try to take notice to see if short men are not taken seriously. I know that they are often not respected as much as taller men.
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