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RaspberryFrosty
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16 Mar 2016, 2:57 am

I have a question regarding verbal expression - What does it mean for verbal expression to be poor? In myself, I express my words better in writing rather than speaking. I actually had a vocational rehab counselor tell me that that I could express myself quite well in writing although my oral expression wasn't as good. I have tendency to mumble, run my words together, not project my voice well, and people get impatient with me when I'm trying figure out what I want to say next. I was diagnosed with a nonverbal learning disability a few years ago and one of the characteristics of the disability is excellent verbal expression so I'm definitely confused.


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Officially diagnosed with nonverbal learning disability, social anxiety disorder, and dsythymic disorder.


Schlumpfikus
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16 Mar 2016, 4:40 am

Could it mean you generally have a rich vocabulary and are capable of constructing eloquent sentences but when speaking rather than writing you are not always able to do that actually?



Trogluddite
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16 Mar 2016, 11:17 am

For me, there are three main reasons why I find communicating so much easier in writing than verbally.

1) Time pressure.
The sheer pace of most NT communication is too fast. The pressure to get some words out when speaking, and to process what I'm hearing quickly, often leads me to spout half formed ideas or stock phrases rather than express fully formed ideas. I've been told by a couple of very trusted friends that talking to me is sometimes like listening to the stream of consciousness of someone who is still trying to work out what their opinion is.

2) The inability to edit.
Unlike in written communication, there's no going back and editing what just came out of my mouth. A certain amount of "Oh sorry, I didn't quite say that right." is tolerable for most people - everyone does it occasionally. But the feeling that nearly every sentence could come out that way makes me anxious about making so many mistakes that people conclude that I either don't really know what I think, or am more intellectually impaired than is really the case.

3) Difficulty multi-tasking.
I find it incredibly hard to juggle the tasks of; (a) listening to the other person; (b) deciding what I want to say; and (c) actually saying it. Ideally, I need to do each of those things one at a time. If not, different thoughts from each part get mixed up with each other, and send my though processes off on irrelevant tangents. I'm also much more likely to mix up the other person's words with the ones that I want to say - so end up sticking words that don't make sense into the middle of sentences etc.

Unfortunately, one of the keys to having a conversation that both people find satisfying is the ability to speak while sounding confident in what one is saying. All of the pressures above reduce that confidence. When my confidence in what I am saying drops, that is when I am most likely to start mumbling, leave uncomfortable pauses, and generally have a flat, monotonous tone of voice. Modulating my voice to sound more expressive is yet another load on my brain that is already overloaded from trying to do all of the other things.

In writing, there's no problem. There's all the time needed to put my thoughts in order, and I can edit as much as required to be confident that I am saying what I really mean to say - and, of course, affect, body language, tone of voice etc. don't have to be considered at all.


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zkydz
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16 Mar 2016, 11:47 am

Trogluddite wrote:
For me, there are three main reasons why I find communicating so much easier in writing than verbally.

1) Time pressure.
The sheer pace of most NT communication is too fast. The pressure to get some words out when speaking, and to process what I'm hearing quickly, often leads me to spout half formed ideas or stock phrases rather than express fully formed ideas. I've been told by a couple of very trusted friends that talking to me is sometimes like listening to the stream of consciousness of someone who is still trying to work out what their opinion is.

2) The inability to edit.
Unlike in written communication, there's no going back and editing what just came out of my mouth. A certain amount of "Oh sorry, I didn't quite say that right." is tolerable for most people - everyone does it occasionally. But the feeling that nearly every sentence could come out that way makes me anxious about making so many mistakes that people conclude that I either don't really know what I think, or am more intellectually impaired than is really the case.

3) Difficulty multi-tasking.
I find it incredibly hard to juggle the tasks of; (a) listening to the other person; (b) deciding what I want to say; and (c) actually saying it. Ideally, I need to do each of those things one at a time. If not, different thoughts from each part get mixed up with each other, and send my though processes off on irrelevant tangents. I'm also much more likely to mix up the other person's words with the ones that I want to say - so end up sticking words that don't make sense into the middle of sentences etc.

Unfortunately, one of the keys to having a conversation that both people find satisfying is the ability to speak while sounding confident in what one is saying. All of the pressures above reduce that confidence. When my confidence in what I am saying drops, that is when I am most likely to start mumbling, leave uncomfortable pauses, and generally have a flat, monotonous tone of voice. Modulating my voice to sound more expressive is yet another load on my brain that is already overloaded from trying to do all of the other things.

In writing, there's no problem. There's all the time needed to put my thoughts in order, and I can edit as much as required to be confident that I am saying what I really mean to say - and, of course, affect, body language, tone of voice etc. don't have to be considered at all.

^^^^I have to go with this. The biggest difference is that I don't get into mumbling, just an ever increasingly embarrassing series of attempts to correct myself, start losing words and just sound stupid and unfocused. I don't get invited to office functions anymore.


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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8