20 Apr 2016, 2:47 pm
auntblabby wrote:
my first mutual support meeting was in January of 2011. I had put in a wish list for meetup.com to form an aspie group near me about a year and a half before. at first it was just me and the group founder, then a month later we added two more. the group has waxed and waned in numbers but stabilized around a core of 3 or 4. we all have similar issues but some of us are better at things than others. I noticed that my fellow aspies tend towards extremes, for example two members are very big into neatness and their place looks like a museum in terms of perfection, no dust, no disorder, everything in its place always. the rest of us, our respective places look like a disaster area. I thought I was prime "hoarders" material but I saw that I was not alone, not by a long shot.
1.) This is what I meant in another thread about your obvious experiences that I learn from. This type of thing is evident in your world view in your expression of ideas. 
2.) There are a few Aspies here who speak of their places being super neat because of aspects of their conditions. And, I...well, I am the opposite extreme. So, I think you are correct by way of sampling here. Never been to another's house, and knew they were Aspie before, so we shall see.
auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 2:59 pm
zkydz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
my first mutual support meeting was in January of 2011. I had put in a wish list for meetup.com to form an aspie group near me about a year and a half before. at first it was just me and the group founder, then a month later we added two more. the group has waxed and waned in numbers but stabilized around a core of 3 or 4. we all have similar issues but some of us are better at things than others. I noticed that my fellow aspies tend towards extremes, for example two members are very big into neatness and their place looks like a museum in terms of perfection, no dust, no disorder, everything in its place always. the rest of us, our respective places look like a disaster area. I thought I was prime "hoarders" material but I saw that I was not alone, not by a long shot.
1.) This is what I meant in another thread about your obvious experiences that I learn from. This type of thing is evident in your world view in your expression of ideas. 2.) There are a few Aspies here who speak of their places being super neat because of aspects of their conditions. And, I...well, I am the opposite extreme. So, I think you are correct by way of sampling here. Never been to another's house, and knew they were Aspie before, so we shall see.
I went to a few other aspie's places in order to help them neaticize their places, one in support of their move to another place. imagine that, ME the hoarder helping some other hoarder tidy up!
sorta like a tone-deaf amusical person teaching another such person how to play an instrument or something. 
20 Apr 2016, 3:13 pm
auntblabby wrote:
zkydz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
my first mutual support meeting was in January of 2011. I had put in a wish list for meetup.com to form an aspie group near me about a year and a half before. at first it was just me and the group founder, then a month later we added two more. the group has waxed and waned in numbers but stabilized around a core of 3 or 4. we all have similar issues but some of us are better at things than others. I noticed that my fellow aspies tend towards extremes, for example two members are very big into neatness and their place looks like a museum in terms of perfection, no dust, no disorder, everything in its place always. the rest of us, our respective places look like a disaster area. I thought I was prime "hoarders" material but I saw that I was not alone, not by a long shot.
1.) This is what I meant in another thread about your obvious experiences that I learn from. This type of thing is evident in your world view in your expression of ideas. 2.) There are a few Aspies here who speak of their places being super neat because of aspects of their conditions. And, I...well, I am the opposite extreme. So, I think you are correct by way of sampling here. Never been to another's house, and knew they were Aspie before, so we shall see.
I went to a few other aspie's places in order to help them neaticize their places, one in support of their move to another place. imagine that, ME the hoarder helping some other hoarder tidy up!
sorta like a tone-deaf amusical person teaching another such person how to play an instrument or something. 
20 Apr 2016, 3:38 pm
20 Apr 2016, 3:46 pm
auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 3:49 pm
20 Apr 2016, 3:52 pm
auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 3:54 pm
zkydz wrote:
I will have to admit that we were primarily testosterone heavy.....
were you a mix of different socioeconomic classes? ours were primarily working class, the few middle-class types never stuck around for some reason.
20 Apr 2016, 3:57 pm
auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 4:00 pm
Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
you may be pleasantly surprised. my group has all genders and ages. but we're mostly working class.
I hope that is the case for any group that I try to join. I don't want to feel like the odd one when I'm in a group especially for people who are always the odd ones. Because in that case, I might as well just give up on socializing altogether and stay in my house all the time, which is basically what I do now.
I screwed up my courage and went, and never looked back. what one can do that is helpful, is concentrate on trying to find commonalities. try to hear their stories and find something in them that resonates with you. I think you are brave, you can do it.
20 Apr 2016, 4:05 pm
Thank you I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal 
I don't get people.
20 Apr 2016, 4:06 pm
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
you may be pleasantly surprised. my group has all genders and ages. but we're mostly working class.
I hope that is the case for any group that I try to join. I don't want to feel like the odd one when I'm in a group especially for people who are always the odd ones. Because in that case, I might as well just give up on socializing altogether and stay in my house all the time, which is basically what I do now.
I screwed up my courage and went, and never looked back. what one can do that is helpful, is concentrate on trying to find commonalities. try to hear their stories and find something in them that resonates with you. I think you are brave, you can do it.
I am not condemning. Took me 7 months to go to one and I went for two reasons only.
1.) I new the place and the people running it. That gave a sense of familiarity
2.) I was invited at eval results and I hoped that one of the team would be there.
My problem was just getting on the damned train and going somewhere new. Ugggghhhhh.....
I plan on going to the next one next week. We shall see LOL
That will be different....
There were all sorts of people from all levels of disability and success. It was the first I attended so, it's going to take a while to see who sticks and who doesn't.
20 Apr 2016, 4:08 pm
Yigeren wrote:
Thank you I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal I don't get people.
Yeah, but you will be with people who have the same fears and issues and just are more accepting. You will step on each other's words and all of that and nobody cares. It was nice that the people who ran the group did a little bit of corralling the tangents and such though LOL
I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal I don't get people.auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 4:09 pm
Yigeren wrote:
Thank you I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal I don't get people.
I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal I don't get people.the thing to remember, is that such a group is your prime chance to be around people that expect you to be yourself, it is your chance to just be you, as everybody else is just being themselves as well. take nothing personally [except for compliments] as it is just reflective of their [other folks] own reality and not of you specifically.
20 Apr 2016, 4:40 pm
auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 4:44 pm
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