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auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 2:38 pm

my first mutual support meeting was in January of 2011. I had put in a wish list for meetup.com to form an aspie group near me about a year and a half before. at first it was just me and the group founder, then a month later we added two more. the group has waxed and waned in numbers but stabilized around a core of 3 or 4. we all have similar issues but some of us are better at things than others. I noticed that my fellow aspies tend towards extremes, for example two members are very big into neatness and their place looks like a museum in terms of perfection, no dust, no disorder, everything in its place always. the rest of us, our respective places look like a disaster area. I thought I was prime "hoarders" material but I saw that I was not alone, not by a long shot.



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 2:47 pm

auntblabby wrote:
my first mutual support meeting was in January of 2011. I had put in a wish list for meetup.com to form an aspie group near me about a year and a half before. at first it was just me and the group founder, then a month later we added two more. the group has waxed and waned in numbers but stabilized around a core of 3 or 4. we all have similar issues but some of us are better at things than others. I noticed that my fellow aspies tend towards extremes, for example two members are very big into neatness and their place looks like a museum in terms of perfection, no dust, no disorder, everything in its place always. the rest of us, our respective places look like a disaster area. I thought I was prime "hoarders" material but I saw that I was not alone, not by a long shot.
1.) This is what I meant in another thread about your obvious experiences that I learn from. This type of thing is evident in your world view in your expression of ideas. :)

2.) There are a few Aspies here who speak of their places being super neat because of aspects of their conditions. And, I...well, I am the opposite extreme. So, I think you are correct by way of sampling here. Never been to another's house, and knew they were Aspie before, so we shall see.


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RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 2:59 pm

zkydz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
my first mutual support meeting was in January of 2011. I had put in a wish list for meetup.com to form an aspie group near me about a year and a half before. at first it was just me and the group founder, then a month later we added two more. the group has waxed and waned in numbers but stabilized around a core of 3 or 4. we all have similar issues but some of us are better at things than others. I noticed that my fellow aspies tend towards extremes, for example two members are very big into neatness and their place looks like a museum in terms of perfection, no dust, no disorder, everything in its place always. the rest of us, our respective places look like a disaster area. I thought I was prime "hoarders" material but I saw that I was not alone, not by a long shot.
1.) This is what I meant in another thread about your obvious experiences that I learn from. This type of thing is evident in your world view in your expression of ideas. :)
2.) There are a few Aspies here who speak of their places being super neat because of aspects of their conditions. And, I...well, I am the opposite extreme. So, I think you are correct by way of sampling here. Never been to another's house, and knew they were Aspie before, so we shall see.

I went to a few other aspie's places in order to help them neaticize their places, one in support of their move to another place. imagine that, ME the hoarder helping some other hoarder tidy up! :lmao: sorta like a tone-deaf amusical person teaching another such person how to play an instrument or something. :mrgreen:



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 3:13 pm

auntblabby wrote:
zkydz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
my first mutual support meeting was in January of 2011. I had put in a wish list for meetup.com to form an aspie group near me about a year and a half before. at first it was just me and the group founder, then a month later we added two more. the group has waxed and waned in numbers but stabilized around a core of 3 or 4. we all have similar issues but some of us are better at things than others. I noticed that my fellow aspies tend towards extremes, for example two members are very big into neatness and their place looks like a museum in terms of perfection, no dust, no disorder, everything in its place always. the rest of us, our respective places look like a disaster area. I thought I was prime "hoarders" material but I saw that I was not alone, not by a long shot.
1.) This is what I meant in another thread about your obvious experiences that I learn from. This type of thing is evident in your world view in your expression of ideas. :)
2.) There are a few Aspies here who speak of their places being super neat because of aspects of their conditions. And, I...well, I am the opposite extreme. So, I think you are correct by way of sampling here. Never been to another's house, and knew they were Aspie before, so we shall see.
Yeah, can't tell you how many times I've been the blind leading the other blind.....
I went to a few other aspie's places in order to help them neaticize their places, one in support of their move to another place. imagine that, ME the hoarder helping some other hoarder tidy up! :lmao: sorta like a tone-deaf amusical person teaching another such person how to play an instrument or something. :mrgreen:


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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


Yigeren
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20 Apr 2016, 3:38 pm

I really need to find a group. It sounds like it would be interesting. Now that I've seen that other people go and enjoy it, I am thinking that I might enjoy meeting people like me. I guess I will have to force myself to try to go.

But the whole idea makes me nervous. Maybe because we're stereotyped as awkward nerds. I'm imagining a scenario where the entire group is composed of skinny guys wearing glasses talking about nothing but anime and computers in monotonous voices. There's nothing wrong with that, but I would probably have little in common with them.

I would not want to be the only female in the group, and I would like to have at least some interests in common with the other people there. I actually have many interests, and am naturally curious about things, so there are a wide variety of things that I would be willing to discuss. However, there are many things which I know nothing about, and I wouldn't know anything worth adding to a conversation, especially if they are special interests of another person.

I know that I'm eccentric, but if everyone is much more eccentric than I am, it's still going to feel as though I'm on the wrong planet. Maybe I'm just worrying too much.



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 3:46 pm

Yigeren wrote:
I really need to find a group. It sounds like it would be interesting. Now that I've seen that other people go and enjoy it, I am thinking that I might enjoy meeting people like me. I guess I will have to force myself to try to go.

But the whole idea makes me nervous. Maybe because we're stereotyped as awkward nerds. I'm imagining a scenario where the entire group is composed of skinny guys wearing glasses talking about nothing but anime and computers in monotonous voices. There's nothing wrong with that, but I would probably have little in common with them.

I would not want to be the only female in the group, and I would like to have at least some interests in common with the other people there. I actually have many interests, and am naturally curious about things, so there are a wide variety of things that I would be willing to discuss. However, there are many things which I know nothing about, and I wouldn't know anything worth adding to a conversation, especially if they are special interests of another person.

I know that I'm eccentric, but if everyone is much more eccentric than I am, it's still going to feel as though I'm on the wrong planet. Maybe I'm just worrying too much.
Support groups are not a social club. They are for helping each other reach goals. It's usually best when rendered by people who are right there with you.

And, I've been around the mathletes, drama geeks and all that stuff. They're awkward, know it and don't give a damn. They are amongst people who understand.

And, yeah, you;re over thinking it....how do I know? I did and continue to do the same thing...it's the mental variation of, "He who smelt it, dealt it."


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


Last edited by zkydz on 20 Apr 2016, 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 3:49 pm

Yigeren wrote:
I really need to find a group. It sounds like it would be interesting. Now that I've seen that other people go and enjoy it, I am thinking that I might enjoy meeting people like me. I guess I will have to force myself to try to go. But the whole idea makes me nervous. Maybe because we're stereotyped as awkward nerds. I'm imagining a scenario where the entire group is composed of skinny guys wearing glasses talking about nothing but anime and computers in monotonous voices. There's nothing wrong with that, but I would probably have little in common with them. I would not want to be the only female in the group, and I would like to have at least some interests in common with the other people there. I actually have many interests, and am naturally curious about things, so there are a wide variety of things that I would be willing to discuss. However, there are many things which I know nothing about, and I wouldn't know anything worth adding to a conversation, especially if they are special interests of another person. I know that I'm eccentric, but if everyone is much more eccentric than I am, it's still going to feel as though I'm on the wrong planet. Maybe I'm just worrying too much.

you may be pleasantly surprised. my group has all genders and ages. but we're mostly working class.



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 3:52 pm

I will have to admit that we were primarily testosterone heavy.....


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RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 3:54 pm

zkydz wrote:
I will have to admit that we were primarily testosterone heavy.....

were you a mix of different socioeconomic classes? ours were primarily working class, the few middle-class types never stuck around for some reason. :scratch:



Yigeren
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20 Apr 2016, 3:57 pm

auntblabby wrote:
you may be pleasantly surprised. my group has all genders and ages. but we're mostly working class.


I hope that is the case for any group that I try to join. I don't want to feel like the odd one when I'm in a group especially for people who are always the odd ones. Because in that case, I might as well just give up on socializing altogether and stay in my house all the time, which is basically what I do now.



auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 4:00 pm

Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
you may be pleasantly surprised. my group has all genders and ages. but we're mostly working class.


I hope that is the case for any group that I try to join. I don't want to feel like the odd one when I'm in a group especially for people who are always the odd ones. Because in that case, I might as well just give up on socializing altogether and stay in my house all the time, which is basically what I do now.

I screwed up my courage and went, and never looked back. what one can do that is helpful, is concentrate on trying to find commonalities. try to hear their stories and find something in them that resonates with you. I think you are brave, you can do it. :flower:



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20 Apr 2016, 4:05 pm

Thank you :) I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal :? I don't get people.



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20 Apr 2016, 4:06 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
you may be pleasantly surprised. my group has all genders and ages. but we're mostly working class.


I hope that is the case for any group that I try to join. I don't want to feel like the odd one when I'm in a group especially for people who are always the odd ones. Because in that case, I might as well just give up on socializing altogether and stay in my house all the time, which is basically what I do now.

I screwed up my courage and went, and never looked back. what one can do that is helpful, is concentrate on trying to find commonalities. try to hear their stories and find something in them that resonates with you. I think you are brave, you can do it. :flower:
'm gonna have to agree with that assessment because if the balance of male to female is a problem, you are facing an uphill battle.

I am not condemning. Took me 7 months to go to one and I went for two reasons only.
1.) I new the place and the people running it. That gave a sense of familiarity
2.) I was invited at eval results and I hoped that one of the team would be there.

My problem was just getting on the damned train and going somewhere new. Ugggghhhhh.....

I plan on going to the next one next week. We shall see LOL

That will be different....

There were all sorts of people from all levels of disability and success. It was the first I attended so, it's going to take a while to see who sticks and who doesn't.


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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 4:08 pm

Yigeren wrote:
Thank you :) I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal :? I don't get people.
Yeah, but you will be with people who have the same fears and issues and just are more accepting. You will step on each other's words and all of that and nobody cares. It was nice that the people who ran the group did a little bit of corralling the tangents and such though LOL


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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 4:09 pm

Yigeren wrote:
Thank you :) I will try. I'm actually a very friendly person, so if others are friendly towards me, that's usually enough. I just usually find that people think I'm too friendly or familiar. So I compensate by being formal, and then I'm considered to be too formal :? I don't get people.

the thing to remember, is that such a group is your prime chance to be around people that expect you to be yourself, it is your chance to just be you, as everybody else is just being themselves as well. take nothing personally [except for compliments] as it is just reflective of their [other folks] own reality and not of you specifically.