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Yigeren
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20 Apr 2016, 4:40 pm

That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.



auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 4:44 pm

Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 4:54 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.
I have to wait a few meetings because there are different goals based on different group's focuses. Some are directed, 'this is what we are working on today.' Some are 'what's troubling you' or 'any good things happening' and so on....I have to get a feel first.


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Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
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auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 4:58 pm

zkydz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.
I have to wait a few meetings because there are different goals based on different group's focuses. Some are directed, 'this is what we are working on today.' Some are 'what's troubling you' or 'any good things happening' and so on....I have to get a feel first.

the way we do it is [spoken by group moderator] "this is a mutual support group, your privacy is respected, what goes on here stays here. each one of you have five minutes or so, so introduce yourselves by name, talk about your highs and lows of the past two weeks since the last meetup. you will not be interrupted or questioned during this time. turn off your filters if you can, and let your heart out, this is your chance to express yourself unfettered."



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 5:12 pm

auntblabby wrote:
zkydz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.
I have to wait a few meetings because there are different goals based on different group's focuses. Some are directed, 'this is what we are working on today.' Some are 'what's troubling you' or 'any good things happening' and so on....I have to get a feel first.

the way we do it is [spoken by group moderator] "this is a mutual support group, your privacy is respected, what goes on here stays here. each one of you have five minutes or so, so introduce yourselves by name, talk about your highs and lows of the past two weeks since the last meetup. you will not be interrupted or questioned during this time. turn off your filters if you can, and let your heart out, this is your chance to express yourself unfettered."

I'm just curious how you control an info dump.


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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
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RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


Yigeren
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20 Apr 2016, 5:43 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.


I will try to do that. I suppose that each group is organized differently, so I guess I will have to work around that. First I actually have to find one and inquire about meetings. I may look tonight.

Too bad that kind of thing doesn't work in most social situations. I often feel like I need a personal assistant for my brain. The "little voice in my head" that is supposed to be reminding me of things, making sure that I do what I should and don't do what I shouldn't, is doing a terrible job.



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 5:53 pm

Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.


I will try to do that. I suppose that each group is organized differently, so I guess I will have to work around that. First I actually have to find one and inquire about meetings. I may look tonight.

Too bad that kind of thing doesn't work in most social situations. I often feel like I need a personal assistant for my brain. The "little voice in my head" that is supposed to be reminding me of things, making sure that I do what I should and don't do what I shouldn't, is doing a terrible job.
How about writing yourself a note that says you will be around people who understand and not to worry?

The act of writing makes things more real to me.


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ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


ASS-P
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20 Apr 2016, 6:09 pm

...I've thought of going to a group , but...........


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Yigeren
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20 Apr 2016, 6:13 pm

zkydz wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.


I will try to do that. I suppose that each group is organized differently, so I guess I will have to work around that. First I actually have to find one and inquire about meetings. I may look tonight.

Too bad that kind of thing doesn't work in most social situations. I often feel like I need a personal assistant for my brain. The "little voice in my head" that is supposed to be reminding me of things, making sure that I do what I should and don't do what I shouldn't, is doing a terrible job.
How about writing yourself a note that says you will be around people who understand and not to worry?

The act of writing makes things more real to me.


I could do that, too. I'm probably going to worry regardless. New situations seem to always make me anxious. But I feel encouraged now that you've gone to one and had a positive experience. I think it's worth trying.



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 6:17 pm

Yigeren wrote:
zkydz wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.


I will try to do that. I suppose that each group is organized differently, so I guess I will have to work around that. First I actually have to find one and inquire about meetings. I may look tonight.

Too bad that kind of thing doesn't work in most social situations. I often feel like I need a personal assistant for my brain. The "little voice in my head" that is supposed to be reminding me of things, making sure that I do what I should and don't do what I shouldn't, is doing a terrible job.
How about writing yourself a note that says you will be around people who understand and not to worry?

The act of writing makes things more real to me.


I could do that, too. I'm probably going to worry regardless. New situations seem to always make me anxious. But I feel encouraged now that you've gone to one and had a positive experience. I think it's worth trying.
Oh yeah...i was nerve wracked....But it was good in spite of that. I think that's why I am trying to encourage you to go to one. At least give it a shot. :batman: :batman:


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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 6:33 pm

zkydz wrote:
I'm just curious how you control an info dump.


you parcel it into your highs and lows for the last interval, and ask for more time later to discuss it with the group. :idea:



zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 6:35 pm

auntblabby wrote:
zkydz wrote:
I'm just curious how you control an info dump.


you parcel it into your highs and lows for the last interval, and ask for more time later to discuss it with the group. :idea:
I understand what you are saying...I'm just trying to figure how you know when you hit that limit...prepared script before hand?


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RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
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Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 6:38 pm

Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.


I will try to do that. I suppose that each group is organized differently, so I guess I will have to work around that. First I actually have to find one and inquire about meetings. I may look tonight. Too bad that kind of thing doesn't work in most social situations. I often feel like I need a personal assistant for my brain. The "little voice in my head" that is supposed to be reminding me of things, making sure that I do what I should and don't do what I shouldn't, is doing a terrible job.

it is a meditative task to write down systematically, what you want to talk about/find out about, at your upcoming meeting. the act of arranging bullet points in order of their priority especially focuses the mind and makes one not think of the normal stressors/worries. when you have worked on your "brains on paper" [as I call it] to the point where it is polished and shiny as you can make it, do not give it another thought until your meeting. give your brain a rest, do fun things afterwards, treat yourself a bit. then at the meeting, chances are it will follow a sort of "Roberts rules of order" in that everybody will get their chance to speak, in our setup it is "highs and lows since the last meetup" and you are given a set amount of time [you can ask for more later] to do this in.



auntblabby
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20 Apr 2016, 6:39 pm

zkydz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
zkydz wrote:
I'm just curious how you control an info dump.


you parcel it into your highs and lows for the last interval, and ask for more time later to discuss it with the group. :idea:
I understand what you are saying...I'm just trying to figure how you know when you hit that limit...prepared script before hand?

what you can do, is practice before hand, role-play as it were. you in front of a mirror, bullet point notes in hand. practice makes perfect. not all meetups will use a timer, but ours does. be aware of the timer but do NOT dwell on it, just talk per your practice talks until you have gotten out the key stuff.



Last edited by auntblabby on 20 Apr 2016, 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

zkydz
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20 Apr 2016, 6:40 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
That is good advice. I will try to remember that. Remembering things when I'm socializing is hard, but if I remind myself before I go, I should be ok.

what I sometimes do that is helpful, is to write stuff down on paper, thataways I can just look next to the bullet points I wrote and remind myself of what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it. also, write stuff down in general next to the name of the person who said it, whenever you want to ask them something about their own situation or what they said about it.


I will try to do that. I suppose that each group is organized differently, so I guess I will have to work around that. First I actually have to find one and inquire about meetings. I may look tonight. Too bad that kind of thing doesn't work in most social situations. I often feel like I need a personal assistant for my brain. The "little voice in my head" that is supposed to be reminding me of things, making sure that I do what I should and don't do what I shouldn't, is doing a terrible job.

it is a meditative task to write down systematically, what you want to talk about/find out about, at your upcoming meeting. the act of arranging bullet points in order of their priority especially focuses the mind and makes one not think of the normal stressors/worries. when you have worked on your "brains on paper" [as I call it] to the point where it is polished and shiny as you can make it, do not give it another thought until your meeting. give your brain a rest, do fun things afterwards, treat yourself a bit. then at the meeting, chances are it will follow a sort of "Roberts rules of order" in that everybody will get their chance to speak, in our setup it is "highs and lows since the last meetup" and you are given a set amount of time [you can ask for more later] to do this in.
That is informative...thank you..... :D :D :D

Oh, you snuck another one in while i was replying....LOL

That was further informative....


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


Last edited by zkydz on 20 Apr 2016, 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.