Excessive Anger/Am I a bad person?

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My boyfriend and i broke up a while back. I decided not to post anything about that when we did as,I'm sure,noone really cares about my relationship failures.Anyway,he's been a real jerk to me since the break up. He actually went far enough to tell me he hated me which I ignored assuming he was just angry with me for ending it.So we end up starting to get along again,with occasional fights,and he'd say some mean stuff and I'd drop the whole thing. Yesterday we were all hanging out(my friends and I,my ex included)and we were joking and having fun then, out of nowherehe slaps me and laughs. I yelled at him and walked off. He tried to say something and i screamed"Don't talk to me!"and left on.So, later while we(me a friend and him)were walking to lunch(my friend in between us)he comes around to me and offers me his very thick book and tells me"Hit me,i deserve it."and i ignore him.He goes on to say"Please?(then smiling)You know you want to." and i smack it out of his hand and behind him with out a pause.He cried at lunch for a while.I even took him off my myspace.I'm contemplating removing him from my AIM and deleting his number. I feel really bad but at th same time i've had it!This isn't the first time he's hit me(hard)and been mean to me verbally.Somedays i feel like i hate him.Others i love him too death.I'm so conflicted!Do yo uthink I'm being to hard on him?Am i a bad person?He also has AS if that helps you're decisions.

Don't blame you. Um not sure. Why do you think he slapped you? No you’re not a bad person. He is the one with the anger/violence issue.

I agree - you're not a bad person. He's the one in the wrong here.

It was just a random thing. No reason to it. He even said that when a guy asked him why he did it. He "just felt like it".

I think he knows he's wrong. He just wanted to do it for whatever reason. That means he obviously didn't really care about after or you imo. That is sadistic.

I would have punched him in the nose and felt good about it.

It's cowardly for a man to slap a woman. He sounds like a loser.

I think thats a bit unfair to say, as we have only heard one persons view of the story, we havent heard his, and thier could be more to the story.

Well, that just makes him sound like even more of a sadistic jerk. You don't "just feel like" hitting somebody unless you have a serious problem.

What could possibly justify a man slapping a woman? That is so weak.

But a woman slapping a man is completely fine right?
A human is a human. Whichever gender they are it shouldn't matter.

However, no you aren't a bad person. Feeling is feeling, you have a right to it.

Last edited by Wolfpup on 28 Apr 2007, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No, it is not just FINE. Adults try to avoid hitting each other and crying when someone knocks their book away. It's really pathetic.

That is agreeable.
Somehow I get the idea that this person is young though?

Things happen, I have anger management problems. I try not to and have learned to walk away, I cannot face any problem if emotions are interfering or else I will get frustrated and angry and cave, because of my severe lack of connection with my emotions when I feel something strongly whether it is anger or not it comes out very aggressively.

This might be something of the case, but really it seems like he was just being immature. Life happens, give it time to sort it out I suggest or just plain move on. Its not your problem as others have stated here.

he's 16 i'm 15

Blackcat,

You WERE a bad person! You were/are VERY mean, unjust, and unreasonable, and you should apologize,
******TO YOURSELF******! !! !! Be easy on yourself! I saw the subject line and thought YEAH RIGHT, SHE'S bad!(sarc) You seem like a nice kid that has just had too many problems, etc...

I wish YOU had an easier time. I wish HE was better so that you two could at least be consistent friends. He sounds like he has some real problems. You should be happy you are over that. I imagine you are pretty cute, you said you had a reputation for being smart(EVEN if you do some dumb things), and even your retreating and all, as you describe it, sounds kind of endearing. You probably won't have a problem if you find someone you like that can do right by you.

As for HIM? Shun him for a while, and try easing him back into your circle as a friend. NOT a boy friend, just a normal friend. If he advances, just let him know you like/want him as a FRIEND, nothing more. He'll probably be upset with HIMSELF, and might appear to be upset with you. If he gets TOO bad, shun him again, and see if HE comes back.

BTW ALL the fact that he has AS does is allow me to understand him a bit better. If I was spoiled, not encouraged to be polite, etc... didn't respect females, and had more emotional problems, I could see myself acting like him. Keep in mind I am NOTHING like him. I DON'T hit females! Heck, I have RARELY hit males, and even considered parts of them OFF LIMITS with regard to kicking, etc... I wish I was afforded the same courtesy. I am just trying to see if I can understand him. Frankly, I hear all you teenage girls talking about yourselves and problems, and I think MAN, if I was 28 years younger! Oh well, I would probably be lucky if I even saw you. I always brought my lunch, and ate near the next classroom. There was only one time I can remember anyone being there with me.

BTW with regard to the dumb things? I'm sure we ALL do them. Be happy with the fact that you do other stuff so well, etc... AND I only mentioned it because of the post you made a few months back.

Steve

Last edited by SteveK on 28 Apr 2007, 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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