Feeling so stupid and different from other people!

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JonathanCampbell99
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09 May 2016, 6:58 pm

I have been writing up notes for whenever I get my autism diagnostic appointment and I'm just thinking about how stupid I could come across to new people, I feel so dumb, when I cannot do stuff that normal people can do like: Kicking a ball and playing basketball due to poor coordination issues, even driving is out of the question due to poor eyesight, I wish I could be a normal person and not feel like an idiot most of the time, I feel like a child in an adult's body, I hate it so much and I have applied and got an offer for a Foundation Science Degree in International Travel and Tourism Management but I'm scared because I won't be able to make friends, I have hardly had any friends and I feel so lonely, I don't even want to imagine what it would be like studying at another F.E. college. Even trying to talk to a person gives me severe anxiety and it's not social anxiety as a mental health care nurse ruled that out. I want to get my Autism Diagnostic appointment as soon as I can and (hopefully) if I do have Asperger's, it'll help me explain the way I am and what I can do to change this sh*tty negative view of myself. :cry:


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 58 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
RAADS-R score = 162
Friendship Quotient (FQ) score = 90.0
Systemising Quotient (SQ) score = 104.0
Empathy Quotient (EQ) score = 29.0
Reading the Mind in Film score = 8.0 out of 22 in 3.6 seconds
Sensory Perception Quotient (SPQ) = 49.0


Clarky
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09 May 2016, 7:11 pm

Don't feel scared my friend, it will work out eventually for you I'm certain of it!

I was feeling like you at one point. I had very few friends after school growing up then one day met two guys through a music event over six years ago who became two of the best friends I've ever had!

I then went on to meet numerous more good friends I still hold to this day and most importantly I met my beautiful partner!

You can feel at your lowest point then all of a sudden it just clicks and you meet the right people and your life just becomes everything you could ever want it to be!

Just hang in there and always be yourself and I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel!



kraftiekortie
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09 May 2016, 7:38 pm

If you got that sort of an offer, you must not be that much of an idiot! :P

I've never gotten that sort of offer, and I've never thought I was an idiot. An imbecile maybe LOL....but never an idiot.

Take the offer. I know you want to make friends. But it's more important to get that degree. It'll help you make more friends later.

As people get older, people care less about peoples' quirks (especially if they're satisfied with their lives).



JonathanCampbell99
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09 May 2016, 7:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you got that sort of an offer, you must not be that much of an idiot! :P

I've never gotten that sort of offer, and I've never thought I was an idiot. An imbecile maybe LOL....but never an idiot.

Take the offer. I know you want to make friends. But it's more important to get that degree. It'll help you make more friends later.

As people get older, people care less about peoples' quirks (especially if they're satisfied with their lives).


I think of myself as an idiot when I cannot do something that normal people can do, and if I want to get into the Foundation Degree, I have to finish and hand in 20 assignments by the 31st of May, it's not going to happen tbh, because my learning support worker is not with me much now and I need her to sit with me and make sure I do the assignments, I do this when she's there, but if she is not sitting beside me I lose interest very easily. She has to go another class and help a student who has special needs as well but she gets more help than I do which isn't fair to be honest. I haven't said this to the student support officer as I don't want to make a big problem out of it.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 58 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
RAADS-R score = 162
Friendship Quotient (FQ) score = 90.0
Systemising Quotient (SQ) score = 104.0
Empathy Quotient (EQ) score = 29.0
Reading the Mind in Film score = 8.0 out of 22 in 3.6 seconds
Sensory Perception Quotient (SPQ) = 49.0


kraftiekortie
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09 May 2016, 8:02 pm

I can't do many things that "normal" people can do---but I don't think of myself as an idiot.

Many "normal" people can't do what I do, either. Turn it around for yourself.

You have 22 days until the 31st. What "assignments" do you have to do?



JonathanCampbell99
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09 May 2016, 8:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I can't do many things that "normal" people can do---but I don't think of myself as an idiot.

Many "normal" people can't do what I do, either. Turn it around for yourself.

You have 22 days until the 31st. What "assignments" do you have to do?


I have 2-3 assignments in each unit still to complete:

Marketing Travel and Tourism Products and Services
Preparing for Employment in Travel and Tourism
Responsible Tourism
Entertainment for Holidaymakers
Residential Study Visit
Long Haul Travel Destinations
UK Visitor Attractions
Retail Travel Operations
European Destinations

Why can I not just do the work, instead of doing other things and not make life harder for myself! :cry: :cry:


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 58 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
RAADS-R score = 162
Friendship Quotient (FQ) score = 90.0
Systemising Quotient (SQ) score = 104.0
Empathy Quotient (EQ) score = 29.0
Reading the Mind in Film score = 8.0 out of 22 in 3.6 seconds
Sensory Perception Quotient (SPQ) = 49.0


kraftiekortie
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09 May 2016, 8:13 pm

What is it that keeps you from doing the work? Do you find it boring?

Are you taking classes in these at this very moment?



JonathanCampbell99
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09 May 2016, 8:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
What is it that keeps you from doing the work? Do you find it boring?

Are you taking classes in these at this very moment?


Yes I am, it's a two year course, thankfully this is my second year and last month, some of the units I hate so I don't bother doing the work for them, I get distracted very easily and at home I use the internet quite a lot, I don't do any work at home. This needs to change quickly though.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 58 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
RAADS-R score = 162
Friendship Quotient (FQ) score = 90.0
Systemising Quotient (SQ) score = 104.0
Empathy Quotient (EQ) score = 29.0
Reading the Mind in Film score = 8.0 out of 22 in 3.6 seconds
Sensory Perception Quotient (SPQ) = 49.0


kraftiekortie
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09 May 2016, 8:33 pm

With this degree, what sort of job would you be able to get?

By the way: when people get in their 20's, they really don't care whether if you're a good ballplayer or not. Really. They don't.



TimmyTurnerFan1
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09 May 2016, 8:39 pm

Coming from someone who was originally diagnosed with autism and later Asperger's Syndrome, I empathise with you. A lot of times I felt like a "stupid" and an "idiot" and possibly made to feel like one. And I've been called "stupid," and sadly I took it to heart. And I have felt like I didn't belong.

But this is not about me, Autistic person to possibly autistic person, take it from me, You are not stupid and you are not and idiot, you just have trouble doing some things. I know because I have had the same problems.

I too didn't always like having autism and was scared I wouldn't be able to make it in this world or do things right, like cook, or pay bills, etc. I can cook now, and hopefully you can too if you want to. I also know how to pay my credit card bills and usually try to pay at the end of the month.

There are some things I still have trouble doing though and some things I don't let myself do, and I don't drive myself. One I'm afraid to, although I did want to drive, but not only am I afraid to, I also don't want the responsibilty and all the money it costs and I earn a little more than 700 dollars a month (I'm on Social Security because of my autism or other mental disability I have, and to add insult to injury I might be starting to suffer physically too but thankfully that has nothing to do with my autism.)

But please take this to heart, you are not stupid, you are not dumb, you are not an idiot. If any one says you are those things or anything insulting, do not take any of that to heart (although I admit I've been guilty of that.) I mean be humble and acknowledge your mistakes (I have to work on this myself) but do not sell yourself too short. And we're all different, whether we have autism or not. I know what it's like to feel different, well, very different, I don't know how different you feel but I know the feeling and it's okay to feel different. But you're not that different, you're still the same as everyone else, we're all human.

Plus I'm sure you succeed in many things, you might even be able to do things I cannot do or do some things better than me!

I misspelled "empathize" and responsabilty, and I just misspelled it again, I'm going to write the word and right click it to correct. Responsibility. Okay I must have spelled it right this time (but I cannot prove that). Okay now I see why I misspelled the first time, I left out the "i" between "l" and "t." But this shows I can still mess up and I'm almost 31 years old.

But you are not alone in your feelings. And you need to try to have a more positive view of yourself, just like I need to for myself. It's a challenge but you can do it, I know you can! :wink: I hope this helped. I admit I'm not the best at helping and giving advice. :? :oops:



JonathanCampbell99
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09 May 2016, 8:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
With this degree, what sort of job would you be able to get?

By the way: when people get in their 20's, they really don't care whether if you're a good ballplayer or not. Really. They don't.


With this degree I can get jobs in airports, airlines, hotels, travel agencies, events organisation, the best thing for me to do is to get the Foundation Degree, then I can do a bridging module which takes to the last year of a Honour's Degree and then I will (hopefully) graduate with an BSc in International Travel and Tourism Management, I just have to get this work finished first though, if I get into the Foundation Degree, emphasis on 'if', I would like to do a 6 month work placement in Spain, Italy or France as part of my second year.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 58 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
RAADS-R score = 162
Friendship Quotient (FQ) score = 90.0
Systemising Quotient (SQ) score = 104.0
Empathy Quotient (EQ) score = 29.0
Reading the Mind in Film score = 8.0 out of 22 in 3.6 seconds
Sensory Perception Quotient (SPQ) = 49.0


kraftiekortie
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09 May 2016, 8:45 pm

I think you gave great advice, Sir.



JonathanCampbell99
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09 May 2016, 8:47 pm

TimmyTurnerFan1 wrote:
Coming from someone who was originally diagnosed with autism and later Asperger's Syndrome, I empathise with you. A lot of times I felt like a "stupid" and an "idiot" and possibly made to feel like one. And I've been called "stupid," and sadly I took it to heart. And I have felt like I didn't belong.

But this is not about me, Autistic person to possibly autistic person, take it from me, You are not stupid and you are not and idiot, you just have trouble doing some things. I know because I have had the same problems.

I too didn't always like having autism and was scared I wouldn't be able to make it in this world or do things right, like cook, or pay bills, etc. I can cook now, and hopefully you can too if you want to. I also know how to pay my credit card bills and usually try to pay at the end of the month.

There are some things I still have trouble doing though and some things I don't let myself do, and I don't drive myself. One I'm afraid to, although I did want to drive, but not only am I afraid to, I also don't want the responsibilty and all the money it costs and I earn a little more than 700 dollars a month (I'm on Social Security because of my autism or other mental disability I have, and to add insult to injury I might be starting to suffer physically too but thankfully that has nothing to do with my autism.)

But please take this to heart, you are not stupid, you are not dumb, you are not an idiot. If any one says you are those things or anything insulting, do not take any of that to heart (although I admit I've been guilty of that.) I mean be humble and acknowledge your mistakes (I have to work on this myself) but do not sell yourself too short. And we're all different, whether we have autism or not. I know what it's like to feel different, well, very different, I don't know how different you feel but I know the feeling and it's okay to feel different. But you're not that different, you're still the same as everyone else, we're all human.

Plus I'm sure you succeed in many things, you might even be able to do things I cannot do or do some things better than me!

I misspelled "empathize" and responsabilty, and I just misspelled it again, I'm going to write the word and right click it to correct. Responsibility. Okay I must have spelled it right this time (but I cannot prove that). Okay now I see why I misspelled the first time, I left out the "i" between "l" and "t." But this shows I can still mess up and I'm almost 31 years old.

But you are not alone in your feelings. And you need to try to have a more positive view of yourself, just like I need to for myself. It's a challenge but you can do it, I know you can! :wink: I hope this helped. I admit I'm not the best at helping and giving advice. :? :oops:


Thank you, that's helped me a bit. :)


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 58 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
RAADS-R score = 162
Friendship Quotient (FQ) score = 90.0
Systemising Quotient (SQ) score = 104.0
Empathy Quotient (EQ) score = 29.0
Reading the Mind in Film score = 8.0 out of 22 in 3.6 seconds
Sensory Perception Quotient (SPQ) = 49.0


kraftiekortie
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09 May 2016, 8:48 pm

There's potential there for you, Jonathan. Please purge the word "if" from your existence. You WILL get that degree.

My nephew's name is Jonathan, by the way. He has elements of Asperger's, though he's not diagnosed. He'll be 24 this year. He has a job with a railroad designing their computer programs.



JonathanCampbell99
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09 May 2016, 8:55 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
There's potential there for you, Jonathan. Please purge the word "if" from your existence. You WILL get that degree.

My nephew's name is Jonathan, by the way. He has elements of Asperger's, though he's not diagnosed. He'll be 24 this year. He has a job with a railroad designing their computer programs.


It's interesting to read that your nephew has traits of Asperger's like myself and also the same name, I'm happy he's got a job, does he enjoy it? Is he currently looking for someone to get him diagnosed or is he happy enough as he is? The problem is that my mum and grandmother think I'm making this all up, how can I convince them that I'm not and that I'm struggling? :|


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 58 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
RAADS-R score = 162
Friendship Quotient (FQ) score = 90.0
Systemising Quotient (SQ) score = 104.0
Empathy Quotient (EQ) score = 29.0
Reading the Mind in Film score = 8.0 out of 22 in 3.6 seconds
Sensory Perception Quotient (SPQ) = 49.0


kraftiekortie
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09 May 2016, 9:00 pm

Nope...he's fine with not being diagnosed.

Have you ever given your mum and grandmother information about Asperger's?

You should also tell them about all the great people who are, or are speculated to have, Asperger's.

Three examples, all very different people.

1. Albert Einstein (speculated)

2. Temple Grandin (originally diagnosed with "regular" autism, then diagnosed with Asperger's recently).

3. Susan Boyle, singer extraordinaire (I think she might be diagnosed with Asperger's).


It is not rare for a person with autism to be able to use his/her talents to his/her advantage. This is a fact; it's not a political statement. I don't get into the political aspects of things.