obsessions ruin friendships

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Some of my interests, such as cats and animals, are common. I have made a worldwide community of friends because of my love of cats, particularly Siamese. Other interests, such as Roger Bannister, would probably be seen as unusual for a 42 year old American woman.

Under no circumstances would I discuss Asperger's in public or with my family.

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about Drummer_girl. My particular obsessions usually revolve around particular popgroups, singers or movies and I have driven some of my friends to HATE the them. I had several friends who would turn off the radio if that group came on because they were so sick of it. I have since learned to keep my obsessions to myself, the great thing about the net is I can go on a site or forum about that subject and talk to other fans as much as I like without them thinking it's odd.

I know a few people here have said your friends are selfish, shallow etc but you have to understand how annoying it is for them. I understand now, since I have been around other people who won't stop going on and on and on about something and I want to run away screaming. It's intensely irritating to have to hear about the same thing over and over, and I can now see why my friends got sick to death of my obsessions.

I guess you have 2 choices - find new friends who can accept that you will talk about the flag constantly, or learn to stop talking about it (it's hard but you can train yourself). Maybe try letting them talk about their interests, it will be boring for you but NTs like to be listened to!

yeah she said she got sick of me talking about flags...

this is a question for the e AMERICANS amonst you... just a quick poll....
Are you bothered by somebody wearing the American flag over their shoulders and kissing it??


oh and thanks for the reassuring comments so far it has made me feel a whole lot better


she seems to think because i do wear the flag and kiss it that it is a terrable thing to do as if to say its the same as burning it. i love my flags- i love them so much. i know i shouldent but when i put one around my shoulders i feel so close to it and it makes my insides melt!
why is it so bad for me to love it? i would never hurt it.

i dont always wear my flag in public but i have on occasion worn it when i go out. usually its just my jacket that looks like the flag that i wear. but shes got a problem with that too

she was really good friend. she just hates my obsession with 'her' flag. she always refers to it as 'her' flag as if if to say its not mine. just because im not an American. i think of it as much my flag as the Union flag is my flag.
i like both countries eqully and have done ever since i was small.

friends? what are friends? The closest to a definition of friend is my chiropractor who insists that she is not a friend, she is a doctor. Sadly, her attitude is common. I annoy the HELL out of people. People can only handle me in small amounts. I am a true social outcast. ....I think I'll go eat worms.

friend (frĕnd)
[Middle English, from Old English frēond.]
noun
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
transitive verb: friend·ed, friend·ing, friends.
Archaic
To befriend.
derivatives
friend'less
adjective
friend'less·ness
noun

I'm glad you have the ability to make and keep friends for as long as you have. Looking from my point of view, I think friends are like cooked speghetti. Get a bunch of it and throw it upwards and see what sticks.

The thing about talking about your obsessions is that you have to remember that NTs are like little children. They almost always have short attention spans and little patience.

I learned long ago that you never discuss the same subject twice in a single conversation unless they bring it up and you change the subject every few minutes.

Also avoid repeating yourself. Only say the same thing twice if you are trying to emphasize a point and never three times.

If all else fails as someone else said less is more. The less you speak the more they will and they consider letting them babble incessantly as doing them a favor. Just try to look interested even if they are boring you to tears (unfortunately thats usually the case).

This friend is not willing to accept your obsessions. Sorry to hear this. Maybe there is nothing you could have done.

It is probably because they connect an obsessive love for the American flag for an obsessive love for America. If you lived in Canada, you'd have no friends. No offense. It's okay to be obsessed with something, but it's not okay for force your obsession on the unwilling. Tone it down a bit but never give up on your obsession.

Can you seek out other people to talk flag stuff to - there's probably an 'I love the US Flag' mailing list or forum out there in Internet land somewhere?

I generally just keep quiet about my obsessions, and treat them as a private thing. It can be quite awkward for the other person, coz they're trying to carry on a conversation using NT rules about taking turns and each contributing, but you're not likely to find someone else with enough knowledge (or interest) to do that. It's really annoying, coz we think our obsessions are just the most amazing, fascinating thing ever, but most people won't share that view.

I got a lesson on this the day a guy wanted to talk to me... but could only talk about those caterpillar-track things that tanks and bulldozers run on. I know NOTHING about them other the fact that they exist, so obviously I had nothing to contribute. He obviously knew all about them and it made me feel really dumb for not knowing anything. It made me even more uncomfortable than I usually am in social settings, so the conversation died real fast.

That's people for you.

Once my best friend stopped talking to me because she was annoyed that I was obsessed with cats.

Our neighbours mother told my sister and I we couldn't come over and play because she was "sick of cats".

People suck.