Routines vs predictabilty

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Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

This is from DSM-5 in the group where you need at least 2 out of 4, so if you have others you don't need this one per se.

I understand sameness and not liking "small" changes. I feel like I sort of take the world in every time I see it. I feel like other people more project their inner image on the world onto the world. I have sometimes told people like "Oh have you seen they cut down all the trees outside the bus stop?" and they go "No they haven't" even if they have been there. It is like their world takes time to update. No wonder they don't care about changes if they don't even see them.

When they talk about routine, I assume it is about wanting to do the same things throughout the day.

Like if you get up at 7 you do, if you eat cereal for breakfast you do that. And so on throughout the day. I can't relate to that at all. It takes me a million years to establish routine, and all my routines are piggypacking on other people's routines. I do some stuff the same way, if I have found that is the optimal way to do it. I have to be reminded to do some stuff, even if it is things I have done the same for years!

Rigid thinking patterns is so vague I don't even understand what it means. I have friends on the spectrum who have a hard time sort of grouping things and generalize, either they see everything as fully separate or they generalize way too big. But rigid thinking patterns sounds more like a personality trait and less like a difficulty seeing connections. So I'm not really sure.

I sort of wonder if I can lump in predictability here, even if there is no word about it. It sort of feels like the same thing as routine, just in a different way. When something is going to happen I need to know it so I can mentally prepare for it. When people talk about being spontaneous I just shudder. I don't even understand how that is possible. I have heard about people who suddenly decided the same day they are going for a weekend trip to another country. Like seriously? They have some magic I don't have to tell them what to put in their bags but also they accept the thought within seconds.

I don't mind breaking my very weak routine IF I am informed about what will happen. The idea of surprise visitors (else than my friends) terrifies me. I even freak out a little when I get mail I don't expect! I don't even understand how people do it with inexact time references. Like if someone tells me they will show up between 1 and 3 PM that is fine because then I am ready at 1. I sort of drop everything else. But if someone says 1 and shows up at 12? People do that and are OK with it. But how do they know they don't totally mess up for the other person? I mean I might even be in the bathroom when they ring the doorbell. I don't know how people improvise in those situations.

My friends say I am flexible and I can change my plans if they do. But they don't change in a very hard way. They might plan game night with pizza and someone has a headache and suggests we just have sammiches and watch a movie. Or everyone stays home instead. It is sort of an downgrade change for me. An upgrade change is much harder. Like they say were just gonna hang out and then we meet and someone suggests we go buy a lot of food and then go to the beach to grill some food. Then I can feel a bit stressed out because I'm not mentally ready, also I might lack things I want, like a jacket for the outside and stuff like that.

I'm just babbling now, but am I the only one for whom predictability is much more important than routine?

(Sorry about the random breaking up my post but it brought me into imnorobot hell when I tried to post all text in one post....) I might be a robot?

I don't have large scale routines, but I need to have certain things be *right* and *correct* or I get very upset. I have to have *TWO* pillows on my bed. The sheets must match the quilt *PERFECTLY* at the edges. The sheets and quilt must be right side up, oriented correctly on the bed. My clothes in the closet on the floor must be *UNTOUCHED.* The controllers must be put back *THIS WAY*. The spoons go into the drawer *THIS WAY.* Etc. etc. Basically, I have a weird obsession with doing things *correctly* whenever I decide there is a correct way to do things. If other people don't do them, I get upset.

Of course, I'm undiagnosed, so maybe I'm not autistic and this is completely irrelevant, but there you go.