Aspie or not?

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Why I may be:

Find eye contact difficult
Find socialising very hard
Introvert.  Spend most of my time thinking of ways to escape situations.
Can't learn something without being shown
Anxiety over everything.
Don't feel that i need fixed routines but a break from the norm leaves me stressed out.
Speak very quietly.
No friends
Hard to know when to talk, though I am aware and wait for my turn and wait and wait...then interrupt
Eating disorder as kid.  Textures and tastes I couldn't deal with, though as an adult I am past that now, just have a small range of food preferences.
Prone to depression (keep this to myself though)
Feel emotion linked to objects.  I feel upset if someone (my daughter usually) doesn't show enough/little interest in something. That thing came with care and emotion, I feel sad like it is hurting a person if it's ignored.
AQ test 36
126 on aspie score.  74 on NT score
RAADS score 115
Get upset/angry quickly and out of proportion to the situation  (according to wife)
Don't like changing clothes. Feel of putting clothes on and off is unbearable.
Don't like being touched
Wife says I stare at people
Cannot multitask.
If interrupted when talking I cannot go back to the conversation.


Why I may not be:

Not clumsy, very coordinated. quite sporty as a kid
No stimming
No meltdowns
No real sensory issues but not keen on loud or sudden noises.
Love fiction!
Have loads of empathy.  Almost too much.  I get upset inside when others are upset.
Was a Samaritans volunteer up until last year. 
No obsessions really but I do follow current affairs closely on a daily basis.  Feel lost without knowing what is happening with the world each day. Also very into football and knowing loads about it, which males are not though?!
Married, parent, have regular job


Don't know why I wrote that. Just undiagnosed, going through a hard spell and wanted to get my view written down.

Does the above sound aspie to anyone?

Sorry to bump my own thread but I am interested to know people's thoughts. It's playing on my mind more and more to go for a private diagnosis as I am just not coping well recently and while I want no help from anyone and would probably tell no one, I think it would help me understand myself.

I'm sorry I can't be more help, but wanted for you to have a response and I am in a similar situation.
I have my assessment in just under two weeks. I am married, I'm a mum and until becoming a parent I hadn't thought seriously that I could be autistic. Being a parent changed all that and I realised, more and more, that I fit with the traits of autism.

My own test scores are relatively similar to yours.

My AQ score was 33. My RAADS-R score is 119.

Like you, I am not looking for immediate help and support. I originally had been happy with self-diagnosis, but I later realised that I'm only doing well now because of the environment that I am in - a supportive husband who picks up where I cannot, and my own business so that I'm not working for someone else. If either of those things change, my world could be turned upside down again. After a decade of relative ease, I could be thrown back into the chaos I was in during my childhood, teenage and earliest adult years. That awareness - the realisation that my success depends upon things that may be out of my control - is enough to drive me to a diagnosis that I can rely upon in future.

And, like you say, if nothing else it will help me to better understand myself and explain myself to others.

How did you get your assessment arranged? NHS or private?

Around 3 ago I had enough of struggling and wondering and went to.the docs. Chatted to her for 10 minutes and off the back of that and my medical history she referred me to a specialist. Said I was only the 2nd adult that surgery had ever referred for this. I got my forms through and then learned I would need to involve my family which I got very anxious about. In the end I never filled out the forms and never went along to the clinic.

Now I have private medical care through my employer. When I am back at work next week I may look into whether I can use that to help with an assessment.

I went through the NHS.

It was a short appointment with my GP, where I asked her if she could help me. I'd prepared a file with my reasons for believing that I had autism, my various test scores, school reports to back up my claims, all sorts, and I had also found a local specialist in adult autism and had included her details within my folder. I felt that I wanted to be sure that I was being seen by someone that I could trust to do a proper evaluation, whatever the outcome, so I did my own research and found someone taking NHS referrals with the right credentials and experience. Within 10 minutes my GP had agreed to refer me and taken the details that she needed.

I then had an appointment through, I think after around six weeks, and since then I've just been waiting for that appointment to roll around.

I will not have any family with me, who have known me from a young age. I don't wish to share my suspicions with my aunts until the diagnosis is confirmed, and I have no closer family as I'm estranged from them. However, my husband will be coming along with me and has known me for almost all of my adult life.

He certainly didn't see me at my 'most natural' (I was roughly 17 when I forced myself to change who I naturally was, and though I was a work in progress right up into my mid-20s - and I still am today, to a lesser extent - I was certainly much better at forcing myself to fit in when I met him than I had been a few years earlier), but he should provide some valuable insight into who I am as a person.

I know that the lady I will be seeing also accepts private referrals, so I suspect that both options can lead to the same results. Hopefully, though, going private would get you seen quicker!

Can you say why you would want a diagnosis? Your list makes sense, but maybe the big problems you are facing right now can tell you more if it is something related to autism.

about your 'why I may not be'-list:

You don't have to have all the autism problems
You don't have to be clumsy or be stimming. And we with autism know that we have loads of empathy!
People saying we don't are just.. wrong.
You don't need to have obsessions. A really fun hobby you are really into can already be it. Don't think rainman.

But like I said, your issue now can be most telling. Because there's definitely something wrong.

Have you been told how many sessions it is? How much time you have away from work

I guess I hope a diagnosis will make me understand me better. I have a pretty low opinion of myself, maybe understanding that it is not just me being terrible at life that is going on will make me feel a little better. I seem to go through cycles. For quite some time I will be fine (relatively speaking) but then things get on top of me, I start finding simple things hard again, I become depressed and all the things on the 'why I might be' list start ramping up.

The assessment itself will be for a half day. If I'm diagnosed, there are then five further sessions that I can use as therapy. I can also swap one of those therapy sessions for a detailed written report, which I can then use for formal purposes in future. I plan to do this in case I need future accommodations at work/medically, etc.

A diagnosis won't make you different. It's just that you officially 'know'.

But if you're having second thoughts about going on that train, I suggest reading.
Blogs, forums and books. Read a lot. If you read enough you will 'know'.
I suggest finding a few good books with people talking about their experiences. You will probably recognise a lot and that might be enough. If you then still don't think it's enough, or if you're not sure, you can still decide to go for a diagnosis.

But reading your post I think you should get more information. For me, when I'm not sure about something, it just means I don't have enough information yet.

For what it's worth - I'm very coordinated (semi professional athlete), though do have a few motor planning issues. I don't really stim. I don't have full blown meltdowns either, I just get withdrawn. I suppose I'm saying it's very much a spectrum!

I was worried that I would be seen a bit of time waster (as that's how NHS GP made me feel) when I went for diagnosis, but AS or not - I think it's better to know.

All I know is that I'm feeling pretty depressed right now due to the fact that it's hard for me to relate to other people... I feel like the outcast where ever I go, but I remain pretty confident, positive, and try to have fulfilling conversations with people (usually 10-30 years older than me, because I'm pretty mature... and quite wise beyond my years)... Although sometimes I feel like there's just no point in life... while my confidence is there...I still feel like I'd be better off -zip- (sometimes)... because I find it hard relating with people and having meaningful relationships with people my age. (I am 21 years old)

That is how I feel I will be seen ( time waster), although the NHS did refer me in the past, I just didn't turn up. I don't have the more obvious signs and I have a decent job and am married. I have basically become very good at blagging life, though once inside my house with doors closed that all gets on top of me too much.