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magnum233
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03 Aug 2016, 5:43 pm

VYcma wrote:
I have been wasting my life since I was 13 years old and hope to fix this soon.


hehe, tell me about it im 36. I have my ups and downs today, unable to find employment etc, the one thing i do focus on is improving my body and overall health. For example when i was in my teens i was always quite overweight, never known what being fit and having a 6 pack is like. Cant say i do yet but im on my way to this. My life still sucks but a little less due to being fitter.

I will also add, i make examples of people in the area i live in. Many people feel the need to take their car down to the local dairy to buy some milk not even able to walk there, i carry home my groceries weekly as i dont drive. I do hop on a train but still have to walk a fair distance. At one point i was using my backpack which since almost had its straps rip off due to the weight, it did almost kill my back lol and i dont really encourage it unless you gain the strength 'its the shoulders you need for that'.

But it did save cost in transport fare partly why i done it. Apart from my oral health which im addressing, i would say im one of the most fittest 30 something guys around the area i live. You see body builders and such, how fit you think they really are lol. There's a reason people that goto gyms daily die at young ages from seemingly bizarre causes, fitness is not everything to health.

If you enjoy fitness or interested in learning more about such things, head over to http://forum.bodybuilding.com/ there is a wealth of info there along with the post i made here about my own research http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=326008

If you enjoy reading i do have a blog i run here https://sertco.co.nz/ its related to my starcitizen clan.


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RabidFox
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03 Aug 2016, 6:02 pm

I think that if you take a different road now, you will see what you've been doing reflected in the new things that you try. I spent my entire life reading and studying. It doesn't have to be a waste of time, as long as you eventually stop. Take what you learned from those books and, almost like magic, new activities and experiences will take the shape of the things that you care about.



AnaHitori
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03 Aug 2016, 6:04 pm

I'm afraid I may be wasting my teenage years. My mom says high school is supposed to be the most fun/exciting/happy part of your life, but so far it appears to be the worst.


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magnum233
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03 Aug 2016, 6:45 pm

I left college at 6th form, i always regretted not staying on till 7th form since i got into drinking/drugs which i did give up some years later 'just occasionally drink now thats it'.

Last year of college is supposed to be the best since your a senior but i dunno i dont think its all that great. I prob would of enjoyed it, atleast you have the choice.

College is highschool in NZ. Different education system here.


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SocOfAutism
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04 Aug 2016, 8:10 am

AnaHitori wrote:
I'm afraid I may be wasting my teenage years. My mom says high school is supposed to be the most fun/exciting/happy part of your life, but so far it appears to be the worst.


I think your mom has been watching too many movies. I think the teen years are the worst for everybody, even those who seem to be having a good time.



golda
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04 Aug 2016, 11:39 am

I relate to this very much... Especially about the teenage years aspect of it.
I think it is the 'non-sharing' of interests with people of my age group that creates this impression. Being reminded everywhere that you should be doing this or that, like this stuff, etc. enhances the idea that we don't live correctly and are wasting our years.
It sometimes becomes striking "wow, I'll never get to be XX years old again - I should be having sex and partying". But nah. Here's me being obsessed with a particular topic nobody gives a s**t about. Ah, well...

G



KanyeWestFan
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04 Aug 2016, 12:20 pm

I wasted 18 years of my life because I never realize my reality

I am about to be 19 and realizing everything like never kissing a girl or never having a real friendship really mess me up mentally but since I am still young I am determined not to waste my adult life from 20 years old all the way to 50 years old. I am going to try my best to make it count



VisInsita
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04 Aug 2016, 1:12 pm

Not a wasted life here, but ruined. I don't even want to go out.

But I guess closure is just for the perpetrators and bullies, not for the victims.

Despite the reasons being different, my life feels like a wasteland nowadays, because I can't enjoy it. I suffer more, if I try to go out.



AnaHitori
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04 Aug 2016, 1:25 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
AnaHitori wrote:
I'm afraid I may be wasting my teenage years. My mom says high school is supposed to be the most fun/exciting/happy part of your life, but so far it appears to be the worst.


I think your mom has been watching too many movies. I think the teen years are the worst for everybody, even those who seem to be having a good time.


Yeah, I was wondering if that may be true.


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Alphawolf
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04 Aug 2016, 1:28 pm

I spent the first 41 years of my life trying like hell to make sense of this confusing and confused Neurotypical world. I felt during my time being lost and confused in an NT world I hated to be time lost. I felt my life was wasted for my first 41 years because; I had no job. I had only a section 8 apartment and SSI \ SSDI disability income. I volunteered at local hospitals and stuff but mostly I just hated my life. I wanted so much to be like everyone else (NT's) I felt my autism was a prison and my life was a total utter waste.

It just took me much longer to make sense of the NT world than most other people. I was clueless. It was not that I did not try to find jobs I did. I even got a few jobs but they never lasted long because; while I could do any job related tasks I was assigned. I could not deal with NT coworkers and the complex social games they played. I was logical and literal which made me an outcast at work. I came to work to work not socialize. I did not realize how much you had to socialize to survive at work so I'd get so frustrated I would meltdown and leave a job.

Four 41 years I felt my life was a waste till I went to community college, vocational rehab and other things that helped me make sense of the NT world. I got insights I needed to build a survival strategy for the human NT workplace. Survival in the NT workplace did not come easy to me. I was lucky to have a really patient employer and a less confusing workplace than most. Today I am successful and think my life is anything but wasted but that realization was over 50 years in the making. It is not easy to get beyond feeling your life is watsed when fighting autism but just know if you stick with it you will get beyond thinking your life is a waste.



ToughDiamond
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04 Aug 2016, 1:59 pm

Alphawolf wrote:
I felt my life was wasted for my first 41 years because; I had no job.

Ironically, I got a job pretty quickly after leaving school, and I soon began to feel that my time in the workplace was largely a wasted life. I wasn't doing so badly outside work where I could get away from people I didn't like and could do things I found interesting, but at work all that was random. I lived for the evenings and weekends. Of course I was glad of the salary and freedom from hanging onto state benefits by the skin of my teeth, but it seemed a huge price to pay.
Quote:
I could not deal with NT coworkers and the complex social games they played. I was logical and literal which made me an outcast at work. I came to work to work not socialize. I did not realize how much you had to socialize to survive at work so I'd get so frustrated I would meltdown and leave a job.

I wasn't diagnosed till very late in the day, so I didn't know what was going on. But even now, I'm not sure it was entirely my autism that was the problem. I'm not saying every second of time in every job is 100% torture for everybody, but some of the managements I've had to work for showed no interest at all in the well-being of the workforce.

Glad you finally found your niche with a patient boss. In my last job, my immediate supervisor was the best boss I'd ever had, very calm and polite, but there were others above him who called a lot of the shots, and I quit the job in disgust as soon as I could afford to.



saxgeek
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04 Aug 2016, 2:19 pm

AnaHitori wrote:
I'm afraid I may be wasting my teenage years. My mom says high school is supposed to be the most fun/exciting/happy part of your life, but so far it appears to be the worst.

My dad always told me that when I was in high school, and always gave me these speeches that usually went something like "When I was your age, I had friends and we all did X. I don't understand why you don't want to do X." and "You're complaining now. Wait until you become an adult and enter the real world.". Teenage years were the time of my life where I realized just how much I couldn't connect with any of my peers, and the two childhood friends I had moved away because of Hurricane Katrina.



Danae
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04 Aug 2016, 3:53 pm

Underachiever. So yes.


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MaizeFlower
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04 Aug 2016, 4:05 pm

Yeah, you had all these options at your fingertips. But, you chose to read books. You are probably knowledgeable beyond the words you have read. The opportunity cost presents itself clearly. You read books, they provide better east than communicating with most people and are convenient. You must have enjoyed them. 10 years is a lot of time. Yeah you could have went outside or something, but you go outside reading too, just in a different way :)



SocOfAutism
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05 Aug 2016, 8:20 am

Alphawolf wrote:
I spent the first 41 years of my life trying like hell to make sense of this confusing and confused Neurotypical world. I felt during my time being lost and confused in an NT world I hated to be time lost. I felt my life was wasted for my first 41 years because; I had no job. I had only a section 8 apartment and SSI \ SSDI disability income. I volunteered at local hospitals and stuff but mostly I just hated my life. I wanted so much to be like everyone else (NT's) I felt my autism was a prison and my life was a total utter waste.

It just took me much longer to make sense of the NT world than most other people. I was clueless. It was not that I did not try to find jobs I did. I even got a few jobs but they never lasted long because; while I could do any job related tasks I was assigned. I could not deal with NT coworkers and the complex social games they played. I was logical and literal which made me an outcast at work. I came to work to work not socialize. I did not realize how much you had to socialize to survive at work so I'd get so frustrated I would meltdown and leave a job.

Four 41 years I felt my life was a waste till I went to community college, vocational rehab and other things that helped me make sense of the NT world. I got insights I needed to build a survival strategy for the human NT workplace. Survival in the NT workplace did not come easy to me. I was lucky to have a really patient employer and a less confusing workplace than most. Today I am successful and think my life is anything but wasted but that realization was over 50 years in the making. It is not easy to get beyond feeling your life is watsed when fighting autism but just know if you stick with it you will get beyond thinking your life is a waste.


I think this is a common story for people on the spectrum. I know it's hard to hear, but a lot of you younger people might benefit from carefully reading Alphawolf's post. And btw that's an awesome username.

It seems to take people different amounts of time to get to a place they're comfortable with, but it does seem to be a steady uphill climb, eventually leading to comfort with oneself and one's life. Some people seem to get there even in their 20s and others are elderly before they're there. But it happens and it's worth it.



Eclipse247
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24 Sep 2016, 8:32 am

Many Aspies study and get qualifications, some don't, either way there are many jobs where coming into contact with NT co workers happens little. Look for these jobs, or if you have the energy you might be able to fit in to the NT world for a short time. Find short term contract work. You might find you rotate around several places. I did. It worked for me. Some fields including engineering, IT and Medicine apparently attract Aspies. Look there.