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I have a question to ask autistic people

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katy_rome
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10 Sep 2016, 3:25 pm

aarrgh



Last edited by katy_rome on 10 Sep 2016, 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

katy_rome
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10 Sep 2016, 3:43 pm

AnonymouslyAutistic wrote:
I am extra sensitive to everything including empathy but my empathy works differently than NT people's.

I have a problem being aware of feelings and emotions in my body. I have to pay careful attention to know even how I feel other than if I am feeling good or bad. So with that in mind - not knowing how I feel makes it hard for me to know how anyone else feels BUT I instead of consciously feeling other's emotions or even being aware of them I FEEL their emotions.

If I am in a room with an anxious or angry person my emotions match the energy of the room like a chameleon on a wall. The problem is that I may not be aware that this shift has happened and suddenly I am pissed off or agitated for "no reason".

Hope that helps. :)

I wrote more on my blog about this but I don't think I am allowed to post a link to it since I am a newbie and don't want to make anyone mad here.


Yes. I've found myself saying often to my husband that if our son seems to be acting innappropriately, so he's out of nowhere angry, frustrated, upset, nervous.. just ask yourself what the general mood is. Are we relaxed? Happy? Or stressed, tired, annoyed? Strange that, he's acting in exactly the mood we're feeling, even if we think we're hiding it quite well.
And when people are nervous, expectant, needy or manipulative communicators, he can't deal with it at all and puts in as much distance as possible. Luckily I can totally relate to that :)
He's like the Truthful Mirror, telling us we're not enjoying ourselves ,or being honest, and something should change around here pronto ..



Jute
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11 Sep 2016, 6:59 am

I have no understanding of what the word Empathy even means, I certainly don't display it. Other people are generally of little or no interest to me, unless their actions have some direct bearing on me. I am not a robot, I do have strong emotions but they seem to be triggered by entirely different things from the majority of other people. News coverage of floods, earthquakes, bombings, famines and the likes leave me totally unmoved. The deaths of close relatives have simply been expected facts of life, they've had no emotional impact on me whatsoever.


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DancingCorpse
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12 Sep 2016, 11:38 am

I already said this in another thread about empathy but might as well toss it here;

I have an unconquerable radiance of empathy shuddering through my brain every day, I have always been very empathetic, I can be quite selfish if something is making me confused that another human is doing where I think they can deal with it more efficiently so I'm not some perfect sage or something but on the whole I am very concerned with the well being and state of my fellow creatures. I read the paper and I will get extremely emotional when I read about painful experiences even if I never met folk, I don't forget about them for weeks sometimes I never forget them.

An old counselor used to say I was incredibly sensitive to the plights and emotions of other human beings in and around my life and it often means I drain myself and my ability to feel a healthy concern about my own state which makes sense.



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12 Sep 2016, 12:31 pm

I've often felt as though I am very empathetic, but it is difficult for me to express it in ways that seem sincere, and I believe many other autistic people feel the same or similar. However, I have also heard of autistic people being undersensitive to emotions or to sensory stimulation, rather than oversensitive like myself.


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katy_rome
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13 Sep 2016, 2:53 am

About feeling empathy for animals and objects, I have now often heard it said, and I agree with this, that we may just as well say that 'neurotypical' people have a deficit as they have so little empathy for any beings that don't look and talk like us :?



katy_rome
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13 Sep 2016, 2:57 am

Jute wrote:
I have no understanding of what the word Empathy even means, I certainly don't display it. Other people are generally of little or no interest to me, unless their actions have some direct bearing on me. I am not a robot, I do have strong emotions but they seem to be triggered by entirely different things from the majority of other people. News coverage of floods, earthquakes, bombings, famines and the likes leave me totally unmoved. The deaths of close relatives have simply been expected facts of life, they've had no emotional impact on me whatsoever.


what about animals or your things, do you ever feel anything like empathy towards them?



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13 Sep 2016, 6:53 am

How would I know? As I wrote in my initial post "I have no understanding of what the word Empathy even means."


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katy_rome
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19 Sep 2016, 1:04 pm

Jute wrote:
How would I know? As I wrote in my initial post "I have no understanding of what the word Empathy even means."


What about love or hate? I guess those are really different from empathy, but I ask because being in love makes you maybe identify with another to some extent, I think.. also hate is very different from indifference. Only answer me if you want to, but IF you want to, i'm interested in pretty much all that you feel as it relates very much to my original question.



katy_rome
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19 Sep 2016, 1:14 pm

DancingCorpse wrote:
I already said this in another thread about empathy but might as well toss it here;

I have an unconquerable radiance of empathy shuddering through my brain every day, I have always been very empathetic, I can be quite selfish if something is making me confused that another human is doing where I think they can deal with it more efficiently so I'm not some perfect sage or something but on the whole I am very concerned with the well being and state of my fellow creatures. I read the paper and I will get extremely emotional when I read about painful experiences even if I never met folk, I don't forget about them for weeks sometimes I never forget them.

An old counselor used to say I was incredibly sensitive to the plights and emotions of other human beings in and around my life and it often means I drain myself and my ability to feel a healthy concern about my own state which makes sense.


The Doors, your quote - I think? My son LOVES The Clash and I reckon he'll love The Doors too, now you mention it.

About others' painful experiences - I don't think I'm feeling such sync with others as you do, but I know what you mean about it nonetheless, being an unsually sensitive person myself. I guess it is not usual to feel and identify so much? I think it SHOULD be, the world would be better if more people had deep sensitivity coupled with a very active imagination.



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19 Sep 2016, 2:52 pm

katy_rome wrote:
Jute wrote:
How would I know? As I wrote in my initial post "I have no understanding of what the word Empathy even means."


What about love or hate? I guess those are really different from empathy, but I ask because being in love makes you maybe identify with another to some extent, I think.. also hate is very different from indifference. Only answer me if you want to, but IF you want to, i'm interested in pretty much all that you feel as it relates very much to my original question.


I don't hate anything, hate requires effort and if I don't actually like something I wouldn't waste my time thinking about it. Love I suppose is like friendship but with the addition of a romantic sexual element? I have no real understanding of the term friendship and consequently the same also applies to love. Acquaintances I understand but friendship? No. I recently took an online Alexithymia test and scored very highly on it, so perhaps that explains my viewpoint.


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20 Sep 2016, 3:38 pm

EzraS wrote:
I have a feeling that the lack of empathy thing maybe applies to those who are severe to moderately autistic (level 1 and 2). Ones who not just have difficulty with socializing, but are quite withdrawn. And I think in that case it may possibly be a matter of not quite grasping what empathy is or quite how it's supposed to feel. I believe that is the case with me at least.

Uhh, I doubt that, Cause while I'm not exactly sure where I lie on the spectrum. I still have problems recognizing my feelings, but I do know it is there....


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katy_rome
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22 Sep 2016, 4:59 pm

Jute wrote:
katy_rome wrote:
Jute wrote:
How would I know? As I wrote in my initial post "I have no understanding of what the word Empathy even means."


What about love or hate? I guess those are really different from empathy, but I ask because being in love makes you maybe identify with another to some extent, I think.. also hate is very different from indifference. Only answer me if you want to, but IF you want to, i'm interested in pretty much all that you feel as it relates very much to my original question.


I don't hate anything, hate requires effort and if I don't actually like something I wouldn't waste my time thinking about it. Love I suppose is like friendship but with the addition of a romantic sexual element? I have no real understanding of the term friendship and consequently the same also applies to love. Acquaintances I understand but friendship? No. I recently took an online Alexithymia test and scored very highly on it, so perhaps that explains my viewpoint.


Are you happiest when alone, then?

I suppose, for me, loving myself and being lenient on myself is quite strongly connected to feeling these things for others, whether people or animals. But maybe this reflection of how we see ourselves in how we see others is not always necessary, i.e. just because it's like this for me doesn't mean it's like that for you too.

Again, don't answer if you prefer not to, but do you remember ever in your life having strong feelings about others, or reactions to how people felt about you? Or has it always been as you describe.



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22 Sep 2016, 5:25 pm

I have a very simply philosophical stance, which I've held all of my life. The world is divided into two sorts of people, me and not me (everyone else). I am interested in me, not me is of no consequence to me.


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AngryAngryAngry
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23 Sep 2016, 6:54 am

I'm 'just' on the spectrum - Aspergers.
I have a large amount of empathy, to my own detriment.
I'm quite concerned for others, and give helpful advice (which they don't want, truth is hated).
I'm too helpful. And offer to help, but then miss the clues when others actually want help.
Also seek to fix the world of it's ills, I'm a dreamer.



katy_rome
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23 Sep 2016, 7:35 am

AngryAngryAngry wrote:
I'm 'just' on the spectrum - Aspergers.
I have a large amount of empathy, to my own detriment.
I'm quite concerned for others, and give helpful advice (which they don't want, truth is hated).
I'm too helpful. And offer to help, but then miss the clues when others actually want help.
Also seek to fix the world of it's ills, I'm a dreamer.


Hey, AngryAngryAngry, I completely agree about fixing the world of ills. i think the more people are 'different', the better :P

I hate it when people act all superior, which is why I'm going to hate myself in a moment.. it seems to me that most of the world has its head firmly shoved up its.. I mean, um, in the sand. Has no-one looked around recently? It seems astonishing to me that people really love, so much, to be clueless.

Anyway, who knows what the future may hold. One thing's sure, it won't be an eternal 'more of the same'....