What Do You (As An Aspie) Get Out Of WP?

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C2V
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16 Sep 2016, 8:02 am

Almost all interaction I have is either for information gathering or for distraction. Wrong Planet is useful for both these purposes.


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BirdInFlight
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16 Sep 2016, 8:21 am

Similar to what Grammar Geek said, posting on an internet forum is very different to actually socializing face to face with people in one's real life. Because on a forum YOU get to control how much exposure you're getting, whereas talking to people in real life isn't always entirely up to you -- as I'm having problems with in my real life places I go at the moment.

I come here because it's the only place I reveal I have an ASD, the only place I get to compare notes with other people with an ASD, and thus also the only place where people seem to have some of the same problems I have.

I don't run into many people with the same problems I have in the real "meatspace" world because I everyone I know is, as far as I'm aware, NT.

My ASD issues do dominate my life, my diagnosis is relatively recent in my life, and I need to consult with other people in the same boat. I don't get to do that in real life.

In real life, I'm surrounded by NTs who often drain my energies, even though it's not that I do not like some interaction. But the interactions in my particular situation at the moment are ALL unbidden by me, and that's not desirable to me.

Here at least, I can come and go, stop posting when I want to, respond or just read and not have the energy to respond -- but nobody will ever notice that!, or not even come here at all sometimes.

Another thing that's different about interactions here -- it's all in written form, the typed word, instead of real-time speech.

In real time speaking, in a conversation with a person face to face, part of my ASD is that my processing time is horrible. Conversations with all but the closest friend are actually hard work for me.

But when I interact on a message board, I'm typing. There is time for me to form my thoughts, form my words, and not forget something important (thought I often still do). I don't get that time allowance when having to speak directly to someone who is speaking to and at me face to face.

The exhaustion level is dramatically different.

One more thing is -- in real life encounters there is a much more ready sense of pressure in friendships or the formation of any other continuing connection in which actual meeting-up and socializing will be expected.

Here nobody expects anything of each other in anything like as heavy a manner as real life friendships. Here I can be friendly with some of the individual people I connect to more often on here. But in real life if a connection is made, suddenly there are heavier "expectations" such as wanting to see me again same time same place (when I went there to actually have some peace and quiet), being invited to things I don't want to to do, and all kinds of other growing obligations.

Here if you get along well with someone, they are probably three thousand miles away and aren't about to demand you meet up for coffee and shopping, lol.


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If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

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16 Sep 2016, 8:53 am

Coming here is simply a way to kill time, just another way to help fill anotherwise empty day. I don't even look at the majority of the other subforums here, such as the ones that deal with games, TV, love and other inconsequential stuff.


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Rocket123
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16 Sep 2016, 9:35 am

I used WP as a tool to understand how myself better. I try to see if there are patterns in others here, that are common to me.



FluttercordAspie93
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16 Sep 2016, 9:37 am

To meet people just like me, as well as taking in any information that the site provides.



TheAP
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16 Sep 2016, 10:00 am

To meet awesome people, share my experiences, and have fun.



AnneOleson
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16 Sep 2016, 5:33 pm

Clakker wrote:
Quote:
I have been over on AC and their atmosphere is totally different - more polite.

What's AC? I'm a recluse and new to forums. I'm here to understand what does it actually mean to be ASD for other people? I have never met anybody who has said they're Asperger/HFA but I'm in Germany and Germans are weird (i.e. many Aspie traits seem to be their normal behavior- tantrums because things aren't going according to plan, insisting on following the rules, prosody, egocentric worldview, knowitall-ism, forgetting to be nice :lol:)

Much of my life I blamed my behaviour on my Scandanavian blood.



Edna3362
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16 Sep 2016, 5:39 pm

Let's just say in real life, and basically ANYWHERE ELSE: I never, EVER, talked about myself.

So... Maybe it's some form of release? :mrgreen: Not to mention boredom...
Some knowledge, and hopefully explicit terms I might learn.


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16 Sep 2016, 6:12 pm

one of the ways to put it is that "my special interest is human nature" (because i want to understand myself, i guess). you can only learn about human nature through reverse engineering, and the way to do reverse engineering is by observing glitches and anomalies. you learn why the rule is the way it is by observing exceptions, and you learn how things work by observing when they fail. the forum format is great for this

it's not that other people don't have their glitches and anomalies. everybody has plenty of them. it's just that they don't talk about it with strangers like people here do. besides offering me opportunities for insights that i wouldn't be able to achieve otherwise, it also gives me the chance to talk without having to pretend i'm normal, and i like to talk. before i started posting here, i used to post in a forum for people with personality disorders


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Last edited by anagram on 16 Sep 2016, 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dianthus
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16 Sep 2016, 6:22 pm

This forum has helped me understand myself a lot more, and there is a certain comfort in knowing that other people have similar experiences and/or think a lot like I do.

If I looked at this as a place to socialize or make friends, it would be really disappointing...it's pretty empty of that. It's like casting out a wide net and not knowing what you will get back. There's not much sense of personal connection.

I really dislike the format of a forum....having random people read and comment, without ever getting to know me or having real consideration for me as a person...and not being able to choose who I want to interact with.

Posting on a forum feels a bit like performance art - the kind where the artist lets the audience members come up and do pretty much anything to them. What do I get out of that...maybe at one time, it was to learn about myself.

I feel like that purpose has been served though, at this point I feel like I'm mostly posting here out of habit, and looking for one final way to purge my bad feelings about this forum before I go.



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16 Sep 2016, 6:55 pm

nurseangela wrote:
... if Aspies say they hate socializing and "small talk", what are your reasons for coming on WP?


nurseangela wrote:
Unless one just comes here to try to get help for a problem, the rest just seems social to me and something that Aspies have said they really don't like. Am I getting it wrong?


nurseangela wrote:
I see forums as more "social" than actual human contact. There really isn't any human contact such as eye contact, touch or even voice - just words and sometimes pictures if someone is open enough to post one.


Well, the aspects of socializing that are desirable are available online. IRL these positives are outweighed by the difficult aspects of socializing: like you say, eye contact, physical space, length of pauses, etc.

Also, there is a strange thing that happens to me when I am physically near others ... brain freeze. It is like I become overwhelmed by their presence and can no longer think clearly. Almost like their energy wipes mine out. This doesn't happen on the internet where there is no physical contact.

So I would say that your surprise comes from a misunderstanding of what is being referred to as social interaction. Perhaps it's physical interaction, not social that is impaired?



BirdInFlight
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16 Sep 2016, 8:46 pm

Androbot01, I get that same energy drain thing by actually being physically around people I'm interacting with. Back in the days when I didn't know what that was about (still don't really), I used to think of it as being like radio static -- I felt like their energy or radio station signal messes my station up and mine becomes meaningless static instead of clear thinking (clear signal). It's draining to be actually in the presence of people, and the reasons why are probably all part of what makes people with spectrum issues people with spectrum issues.

Online the same thing doesn't seem to happen. It's probably a lot to do with having time to formulate response, too.

To dianthus:

I think connections can be made on a place like this; I certainly feel somewhat of a bond with the individuals with whom I seem often to relate to most strongly, and discover similar viewpoints, etc, and I would certainly miss you very much indeed if you do decide to leave here, as you are one of those people, to me.


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If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

~ ~ ~


CockneyRebel
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16 Sep 2016, 9:27 pm

I come here to talk to like minded people about topics of similar interest. I also enjoy reading stories of like minded people. I also come on here to unwind at the end of the day before I watch TV. I know I have a social network at times when my family isn't the best social network.


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androbot01
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17 Sep 2016, 7:44 am

BirdInFlight wrote:
Androbot01, I get that same energy drain thing by actually being physically around people I'm interacting with. Back in the days when I didn't know what that was about (still don't really), I used to think of it as being like radio static -- I felt like their energy or radio station signal messes my station up and mine becomes meaningless static instead of clear thinking (clear signal). It's draining to be actually in the presence of people, and the reasons why are probably all part of what makes people with spectrum issues people with spectrum issues.

Online the same thing doesn't seem to happen. It's probably a lot to do with having time to formulate response, too.

People are kryptonite to me. And it's nothing to do with not liking them, it's just like a mental static that stops the connections from functioning.



BirdInFlight
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17 Sep 2016, 8:04 am

Yes! Exactly that -- it's like mental static, even around people I really like. I still feel, after a bit too much of it, like now my radio station has kind of been made fuzzy and detuned (to use an old fashioned analogy from literally analogue radio days, lol).

Even after pleasant time with people I like, I come away feeling like I actually can't think as clearly as I can when I've had plenty of non-social time. It doesn't happen on the internet, and also, you can take or leave time on a forum board when you need to.


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~ ~ ~

If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

~ ~ ~


androbot01
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17 Sep 2016, 8:21 am

BirdInFlight wrote:
Even after pleasant time with people I like, I come away feeling like I actually can't think as clearly as I can when I've had plenty of non-social time.

Autism is such an odd mental phenomenon. If I didn't experience these things for myself I wouldn't understand. I'm not sure I do even though I experience it. It's an uncontrollable physical/mental reaction: I can't think clearly, I feel agitated and I lose my sense of self (and can be easily manipulated because of it.)