Does anyone else with Asperger's have issues with their age?

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Meistersinger
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28 Sep 2016, 9:31 pm

As I said before, I'm 59 going on 99. I was born old.



auntblabby
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28 Sep 2016, 9:37 pm

people tell me I look and act young, but I tell them I have a painting in the closet that gets older by the picosecond.



katiegococo
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28 Sep 2016, 9:43 pm

I know that quite a lot of people with Asperger's tend to look younger than their age. Something to do with not moving our facial muscles as much, or so someone once told me. I do know someone that's 38 who could pass for 25, and if I'm as lucky as her I might not be too bad off. But part of me feels like I should learn to accept ageing rather than cling on to it, because in ten years I am going to be a full generation detached from my teens and clinging to it would be unhealthy (and probably creepy as well).



auntblabby
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28 Sep 2016, 9:44 pm

^^^one eventually learns to no longer give a fig if anybody else thinks of us as creepy. what our own opinion of us matters far more. I know I try to be a decent human. that's all that matters to me.



katiegococo
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28 Sep 2016, 9:47 pm

auntblabby wrote:
^^^one eventually learns to no longer give a fig if anybody else thinks of us as creepy. what our own opinion of us matters far more. I know I try to be a decent human. that's all that matters to me.


Well, I mean, I've struggled to make friends over the past year or so (I still only have a couple, and only one I regularly see). The people I get along with best tend to be 17 or so, which is already a few years younger than me. It's going to be hard for me to befriend people on my wave length for too much longer. I guess that's what I mean by creepy... You can feel like a big child or whatever, but ultimately if your head has that maturity, it's hard to be friends with "adults". Case in point, most really mature and intellectual people have always found me pretty annoying.

The only things that help me give off any air of maturity are my intelligence and my ability to write pretty formally.



Last edited by katiegococo on 28 Sep 2016, 9:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TheCurse
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28 Sep 2016, 9:47 pm

It's all about being old for me. Old means wise, seen it all, done it all, know it all and really ready to die but content with sticking around as long as nature will allow just out of nosiness and feeling as if the world needs a few old wise folks to keep it going.



auntblabby
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28 Sep 2016, 9:50 pm

I've always gotten along better with people older than me, as a kid even.



katiegococo
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28 Sep 2016, 9:55 pm

auntblabby wrote:
I've always gotten along better with people older than me, as a kid even.


I think that actually at some point in my teens I probably did. There was a time I was just in my shell and only had a personality when either alcohol (which I've now stopped completely) or purely typing online was involved. At that time, because I was intelligent for my age, I used to say I was 19 or 20 online and people that age believed me. Looking back I was pretty immature, but I had no friends my age, only older.

Nowadays, while I'm obviously a bit detached from actual 14-15 year olds, I don't get along with people in their twenties well at all compared to people who are 17-19. And the last time I chatted to a 14-year-old face to face (it was someone's younger sister), we got along really well. It's sort of weird how that's happened, but I think the more confident I am, the younger I seem. Few things make me happier than someone saying, "I thought you were younger than that".



auntblabby
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28 Sep 2016, 10:28 pm

katiegococo wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I've always gotten along better with people older than me, as a kid even.


I think that actually at some point in my teens I probably did. There was a time I was just in my shell and only had a personality when either alcohol (which I've now stopped completely) or purely typing online was involved. At that time, because I was intelligent for my age, I used to say I was 19 or 20 online and people that age believed me. Looking back I was pretty immature, but I had no friends my age, only older.

Nowadays, while I'm obviously a bit detached from actual 14-15 year olds, I don't get along with people in their twenties well at all compared to people who are 17-19. And the last time I chatted to a 14-year-old face to face (it was someone's younger sister), we got along really well. It's sort of weird how that's happened, but I think the more confident I am, the younger I seem. Few things make me happier than someone saying, "I thought you were younger than that".

today, it is the rare teen indeed that feels comfortable talking with me.



EzraS
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29 Sep 2016, 2:05 am

I'm more comfortable with adults. Have always felt older. Kids around my age have always seemed unstable to me. I have a couple of regular online friends in their early 20's. But have always avoided such with a teen. Of course both of them feel more comfortable with someone younger, so it's win win. I'd like to be 40 years old with a grey beard and have the whole growth and development thing way behind me.



EzraS
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29 Sep 2016, 2:11 am

auntblabby wrote:
today, it is the rare teen indeed that feels comfortable talking with me.


I feel very comfortable chatting with you in threads.



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29 Sep 2016, 2:48 am

Katie, I suggest you chat to Sly79. Maybe send him a PM and link to your thread. I think you two may have some things in common and can form a good bond.

You've explained how you feel pretty well. It's the sense of missing out on your teenage years and never physically being able to get them back. You feel it very strongly and it hurts you to see other teens happy. Well, I would suggest re-thinking it. Consider watching a movie with teens in it but instead of feeling severe jealousy, try picturing yourself as them. Picture yourself going through all of the emotions they are, as if you've living the character's lives. You can never be a teen again but this may be one thing you can do to express those emotions.

The age that you feel inside, do you want to remain the same age forever or do you just feel a few years younger than where you are now, allowing for growth with each year? If it's the latter, that's good, it means you'll probably feel more like an adult in a year or two and can manage better as an adult.

If you make friends well, you can try finding likeminded, youngish groups that do go out and do fun things. Maybe join some sort of cosplay group, as a way to get over your jealousy of teenage characters and also have fun at the same time.



Uncle
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29 Sep 2016, 2:51 am

katiegococo wrote:
I just spent time writing such a long, in-depth reply to this thread only to get yet another Cloudflare message and lose it all. I'm just so angry about that right now that I don't think I'll be back. So much for a place to be able to discuss how I feel.

Edit: After calming down I've posted my reply on the next page :)



Yes this frustrates me at times aswell! However your message will still be there if you use your back button and it will take you back to where your written message was, i have also learnt to copy said message before posting just incase ;) and hi :)



auntblabby
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29 Sep 2016, 3:42 am

EzraS wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
today, it is the rare teen indeed that feels comfortable talking with me.


I feel very comfortable chatting with you in threads.


thank you :)



kraftiekortie
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29 Sep 2016, 7:13 am

I'm 55, and I still don't have a gray beard.



auntblabby
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29 Sep 2016, 7:22 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm 55, and I still don't have a gray beard.

lucky you :wtg: