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Twilightprincess
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30 Sep 2016, 6:54 am

When someone has a very bubbly and outgoing personality, they are said to have "lots of personality." What about those of us who are shy and introverted?

I was once told by a man (who liked me but I rejected) that I have no personality. Perhaps I don't in the common use of the word.

What are your thoughts on personality and how would you describe yours - especially those of you who are introverted?



kraftiekortie
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30 Sep 2016, 6:58 am

I've known many shy people who actually have very, very strong personalities--which they reveal once they feel like they trust you.

I have also noticed that shy people tend to be more daring in the bedroom LOL



Twilightprincess
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30 Sep 2016, 7:04 am

LOL
That's very interesting.



SaveFerris
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30 Sep 2016, 7:34 am

mysterious & intriguing

thats not me but it justs puts a positive spin on shy & introverted


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Twilightprincess
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30 Sep 2016, 7:40 am

I actually have had someone say I was mysterious before. I should stick with that.



TheSilentOne
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01 Oct 2016, 9:26 am

I've been told I have a nice personality, but that I'm really shy when showing it. I think that is probably pretty accurate.


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whatamievendoing
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01 Oct 2016, 9:35 am

I'm a pretty shy person, and very few people have ever successfully penetrated my defenses. But the ones that did succeed say I'm "awesome" or some equivalent of that. Which may or may not be an overstatement. Either way, I'm guessing that means I have some personality, because I can be very outgoing once I get to know someone.


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Kiriae
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01 Oct 2016, 12:51 pm

Personality is a confusing word because it means something else depending on context.
In case of "no personality" and "strong personalty" people speak about presence - people with "strong personality" actually have strong presence, the ability to make people notice you, being recognizable, catching attention.
There is also "personality type" - there are multiple scales how it can be measured. For example introvert/extrovert, pessimist/optimist/realist, senguine/choleric/melanholic/phlegmatic, 16 MBTI personality types etc.
There are also "personality traits" such as cheerful, outgoing, stoic, easily irritable, talkative, silent etc.
And there are "personality disorders" too, where personality traits are having bad influence on ones life.

I find it hard to describe my personality. Curious, outgoing but also silent and anxious. Selfish but liking to help others. Lazy but a hardworker. I am a mixture of opposite traits - my personality depends on mood and situation.
I am pretty sure I am INTP in MBTI though.



rowan_nichol
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01 Oct 2016, 2:05 pm

Kiriae wrote:
Personality is a confusing word because it means something else depending on context.
In case of "no personality" and "strong personalty" people speak about presence - people with "strong personality" actually have strong presence, the ability to make people notice you, being recognizable, catching attention.
There is also "personality type" - there are multiple scales how it can be measured. For example introvert/extrovert, pessimist/optimist/realist, senguine/choleric/melanholic/phlegmatic, 16 MBTI personality types etc.
There are also "personality traits" such as cheerful, outgoing, stoic, easily irritable, talkative, silent etc.
And there are "personality disorders" too, where personality traits are having bad influence on ones life.

I find it hard to describe my personality. Curious, outgoing but also silent and anxious. Selfish but liking to help others. Lazy but a hardworker. I am a mixture of opposite traits - my personality depends on mood and situation.
I am pretty sure I am INTP in MBTI though.


Thank you for that very informative post. Thank you especially for the Personality and Presence insight.



beakybird
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01 Oct 2016, 3:27 pm

Despite how I come across in written form on the internet, I'm very shy and introverted. Very much like Kortie said, once I trust you and feel comfortable, I have a very strong, unique personality if I let it out. When in this state, I can be very engaging, a good conversationalist who can flow through changes in topic fairly seemlessly, very funny and quick witted, sarcastic, observant. I say things people wont but I've honed it into a way that makes people laugh instead of being off-putting. People love random honest thought. It's about the delivery and good boundaries.

I've gotten 'mysterious' in my younger years quite a bit. I come off as a very unapproachable guy. One that you wouldn't generally just approach... I'm working hard on that one...



JakeASD
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01 Oct 2016, 4:20 pm

I would say I am shy, phlegmatic, patient and polite. However, it's difficult for others to engage me in conversation unless I find the subject matter interesting. Unfortunately this can cause offence to others as they can perceive my lack of interest in many things as impertinent and distant. I have been offered a job by the NHS, so I will need to work hard on this imperfection of mine. But it's going to be remarkably difficult for me as my condition (autism, not Asperger's) affects my ability to concentrate as I am easily distracted by sounds.


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FandomConnection
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02 Oct 2016, 3:46 am

With people I don't know well (the vast majority of the time) I am very quiet, shy, fearful, and polite. With those I know well (may be 10 people) I can be more talkative, and funny (apparently, sometimes unintentionally :D), though still polite. With all people, I show little emotion in a 'normal' body-language way - I might bounce on my toes if happy, pace if worried etc. People say I'm sweet (possibly due to social immaturity), funny, but too clever (so as I'm difficult to understand, make jokes not understood by most, and slightly imposing). I'm also extremely curious and stubborn.


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TheAP
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02 Oct 2016, 12:38 pm

Shy, quiet, sensitive, emotional, irritable, thoughtful, sometimes selfish, kind, caring, fair, honest, sometimes funny but sometimes serious.



katy_rome
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02 Oct 2016, 1:57 pm

Please watch this wonderful presentation, I loved it and have shared it with my other introvert friends!! !!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4


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racheypie666
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02 Oct 2016, 1:58 pm

As an introvert I find that some people find you mysterious, and others are content to project their own interpretation onto the blank canvas your silence offers. Usually people in the latter group think I'm stupid and/or shy, which honestly puts me at an advantage because I'm not.

My personality is very creative and observant. I look for patterns in things, I learn things and remember details with efficiency. Strangers often say I am 'interesting' without me saying anything; I suppose this is that sense of introversion, that I have a personality but I'm not sharing it with them. The main trait I can't hide is focus. In my supervision at work one of the managers said 'you don't stop do you. Why is that, what makes you like that?'. I think the answer is part AS, part parental pressure, but I just said 'I don't know, that's just how I am.'

I'm very cagey about my emotions and anything personal. At school we had to write a personal essay about one of our memories, and I got very angry and upset at the idea. Eventually I handed in an essay about the pointlessness of personal writing :?. I tell myself that I don't let people in because I don't need them, but the reality is more complex; I also don't know how to let people in.

That said I have opened up to people I connect with, usually intellectually or through humour. One of my closest friends at school/college was a boy who loved critical thinking as much as I do. We made friends doing a mock trial competition, I was 1st lawyer for the defense, he was 1st for the prosecution. Most of our conversations were arguments, and not in a flirty way, we were just very well matched at critical thinking! My absolute best friend at school was a smart and compassionate NT girl who just took the time to know me; eventually I was almost myself around her. I miss those days :( .



racheypie666
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02 Oct 2016, 2:04 pm

katy_rome wrote:
Please watch this wonderful presentation, I loved it and have shared it with my other introvert friends!! ! !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4


My mum cites this presentation every time I identify as autistic, even post diagnosis; she maintains I'm 'not autistic, just one of those introverted genius types' :| . Way to be in denial mum! It is a good talk though, I like TED Talks :)