In what ways do you or have you felt fragile?

Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

15 Oct 2016, 9:02 am

Every time my interests clash with someone else's, because the exchange follows this pattern:

• Optionally they try to BS me into accepting I don't really want what I want. I used to be misled every single time by what looked to me like they were willing to debate rationally, so I took care to refute their BS. This, of course, pissed them off. I've since slowly learned that people essentially never want to reason with me, and, when they appear to, it's code for "Yield now that I've graciously given you a chance to do it without looking too humiliated to neurotypicals (even though you can't tell this is the case, as swallowing my BS already makes you feel like crap), or you'll have to yield the hard way, which will be much more obvious and unpleasant to everyone, but especially to you, in addition to more humiliating".

• They remind me they can take whatever they want from me by force, physically hurt me as much as necessary to get what they want from me, or get a third party to do it. The last possibility is typical when the person whose interest clashes with mine is female, disabled in any readily apparent or widely acknowledged way, significantly older or younger than me or otherwise morally exempt from beating the s**t out of me themself. I can't remember ever being physically stronger or better prepared for combat than anyone without it being dishonorable of me to take advantage of it, while it always seemed honorable for others to put me in my place by force. That's where my "fragility" resides. Everything would be much easier if people just respected one another with no need to impose that respect by force, but I think it's as unrealistic as expecting a lion not to devour a lamb.


_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


Shahunshah
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,225
Location: NZ

16 Oct 2016, 4:52 am

Pravda wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
I am fragile when faced with a social situation where I am unfamiliar/uncomfortable with those there. However in that scenario I can snap out of it when the topic of conversation gets interesting.

Yeah, I'm like this as well, except less "fragile" and more "awkward." I feel nervous and like a loser who has nothing interesting to offer, but it's very different from the anxiety-driven feeling I get when trying to navigate new places or left alone for a long time. Then if the topic gets interesting, I finally feel like I might have some minor thing to offer and get very "into" the conversation.

Exception: debates with people I don't know well, where I definitely feel fragile. I get mega-anxious and have a tendency to internally flip out for fear that I might be making my side look bad whether my points have more merit or not. Which makes me sputter nervously, seethe grumpily, and awkwardly misphrase things, which in turn actually makes me look bad regardless of my points' merit. It's a pretty vicious cycle, and even extends to ones online, though I've learned to hold the sputtering/seething in and not let it show. I also feel obligated to respond so that it doesn't look like my "side" lost due to lack of merit rather than my personal stress, raising it and often giving me headaches which continue until it's over and I grab a glass of lemonade. It's all a shame, because I actually on some level also really enjoy point-by-point arguments, sharing ideas and all. If I do know someone well, I feel at ease and thrive in them.
I find that interesting. I often feel sort of compelled to argue when I their is a certain issue being discussed or one I feel strongly about. In that instance I may be very unsteady at first but that can change as I get immersed into arguments. However altogether regardless of how good I am at them I enjoy them frequently and choose to do them as it is a way to get myself out of my little solitary bubble. I think that once you get beyond the anxiety that may come with arguing they are a good way to get to know people and converse with them.

From the way you describe yourself as willing to stick up for your own views and argue them out despite how you may feel I get the impression you are quite passionate for your beliefs. Am I right?



Pravda
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 212

16 Oct 2016, 3:32 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
From the way you describe yourself as willing to stick up for your own views and argue them out despite how you may feel I get the impression you are quite passionate for your beliefs. Am I right?

I am about certain things. Foreign policy/nuclear nonproliferation, ND rights, feminism (more certain issues in that fold than others), labor rights, sustainability/"bright green" issues. Those all get me going, because I care deeply about them.

But sometimes I just feel compelled to argue something because I feel a statement was factually incorrect, mostly dispassionately. This still usually goes on for ages. And it still makes me nervous, agitated, and all-around stressed.


_________________
Don't believe the gender tag. I was born intersex and identify as queer, girl-leaning. So while I can sometimes present as an effeminate guy, that's less than half the time and if anything I'd prefer it say "female" of the two choices offered. I can't change it though, it's bugged.


beakybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,789
Location: nj

16 Oct 2016, 3:48 pm

My depending on other people for my contentment makes me fragile.

The intensity of my attachments and loyalties.

My difficulties in adjusting on the fly from a expected path or course of action.

My devastatingly low self esteem.

My difficulty in making important decisions, or any decisions really.

My tendencies toward complusions and addictions.

These all make me fragile.



Pieplup
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2015
Age: 20
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,658
Location: Maine

16 Oct 2016, 3:54 pm

Physically It's easy for me to hurt myself. My Bones aren't very strong. It comes with being a Penguin. :cry: So Litterally.


_________________
ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup or by email at [email protected]


GodzillaWoman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2014
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 742
Location: MD, USA

17 Oct 2016, 11:32 pm

Going out in public, being surrounded by strangers, noises, lights, smells, making me feel like my tension level is just going up and up. I don't know who or what is safe, and everything feels dangerous. I don't feel like there is anyone who will help or protect me (partly because I was kidnapped when I was six, and the police did nothing).

I also live in a somewhat run-down neighborhood, so everybody is loud and trying to make themselves look like you shouldn't mess with them, being rude, swaggering, playing loud music, shouting at each other.


_________________
Diagnosed Bipolar II in 2012, Autism spectrum disorder (moderate) & ADHD in 2015.


SH90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jul 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,558
Location: Florida

18 Oct 2016, 12:06 am

I feel fragile during police encounters… This would happen fairly frequent when I lived in my vehicle. Multiple officers questioning and violating my rights (searches); yelling and shinning lights in eyes. In general, I feel this way when I am having to deal with multiple angry people. More so when I know they have no merit for their anger.