Difference Between Aspergers and Selective Mutism
I was diagnosed with selective mutism when I was very young (i'm almost 19 now), but recently I've come to think I might have been misdiagnosed and actually have Aspergers. I think this because, from what I can tell, things like repetitive movements, limited and intense interests, difficulty with knowing what to do in social situations, and difficulty having two way conversations, as well as things like verbosity, sensitivity to sound, and clumsiness, all of which I have, are not a part of selective mutism. However, upon bringing this up to my psychologist (who did not even diagnose me with SM and has never heard a thing about me directly from me, as my mum speaks to her instead) she wouldn't even hear of it, and kept talking about how Aspergers isn't an anxiety disorder, but a developmental one, despite the fact that I kept writing to her that I KNOW that. She also insisted that people aren't often diagnosed when they are older, and when I pointed out that many people indeed are, and that many DFAB people like myself are certainly missed as children, she shut up about that. She also couldn't give me an actual reason as to why she didn't believe I have Aspergers, despite her initial response being a very resounding "nope!". It was honestly a very distressing encounter, and despite having talked it through online with a few people I am still very upset by it. I am wondering if anyone can provide some insight on whether I do or do not have the differences between AS and Selective Mutism, as most online resources I can find are meant for parents who think their child has SM and not Aspergers. Thank you.
You're right that those other things are not a part of selective mutism, but of Asperger's. To my understanding, selective mutism is just not being able to speak in certain situations. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people have misconceptions about Asperger's, and your psychologist seems like one of those people.
BirdInFlight
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She seems to not be willing to entertain the possibility. Can you consult someone else, get a second opinion that may lead to a recommendation for a proper assessment?
Selective mutism can sometimes be part of some people's experience of Asperger's at some stage -- I was late-diagnosed, was missed as a child because it was the 1960s and 70s, and during my school years I had undiagnosed selective mutism that operated only in school. I was fine at a home.
Often when a child is "missed" for an autism/Asperger's diagnosis, they do get diagnoses with other things that in fact can be traits of the spectrum but also diagnosed by in isolation. The traits can be recognized and diagnosed as something else yet the diagnostician who isn't looking for autism spectrum doesn't put two-and-two together.
Greenleaf
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It seems to me like an excellent decision to trust yourself about not getting any assessment from that person. Someone who has already reacted so fast without really thinking, about something so important, might have some issues... they might have difficulty admitting they were wrong, and leave you with even more invalidation.
I don't know that much about the health system in your country for autism issues specifically. However here, very few clinicians know much at all about assessing *adults* for autism. They have an image in their head that it's all young males. (Yet it's mostly genetic, and mostly not new mutations... the logic is crazy.)
People with autism who have never been diagnosed can have learned a lot of coping skills; suppressing "stimming" in front of people, how to make eye contact in some situations, briefly; lots of things that are taught in the ABA type work can be, and have been, figured out through painful trial and error probably by millions of autistic people. Many autistic women do this, per recent research, and also many men I strongly suspect. The clinician needs to be able to see past the masking strategies, which might be automatic by now. Luckily there are starting to be relevant tests! But it's still in early stages, in my experience. (I was just diagnosed at age 52, I worked very hard at "passing" and feel like it will take a long time to untangle my survival-based acting from the "real me", whatever that is.)
So, going to a clinician who has as much experience diagnosing adults as you can find, might be much better. Best wishes!! !
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