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Shahunshah
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28 Nov 2016, 2:37 am

Just asking but would many people here on this forum count as being confrontational?

I personally am, whenever I see an instance of bullying I always turn to this. This can has included questioning why the bully is doing their actions, at times putting them down and being unafraid to get physical around them.

However I am also confrontational in another aspect. When I see an argument going on or someone presenting a view I can regard as blatantly false I make an effort to pitch in. Sometimes this has annoyed people but more often than not has led to an interesting discussion.



League_Girl
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28 Nov 2016, 3:15 am

I hate confrontations. The thought of doing it gives me anxiety. I also feel it makes me passive and two faced because of my anxiety. I am always afraid people will get mad at me and there will be a fight between us and I am afraid I will be upset so I am a avoider and I have pissed people off in the past online for confronting them like pointing out stuff to them that bothered me. I guess they fixed me. I am always happy when others are confrontational. But I am always mad at myself because I feel weak. I used to confront my ex too by pointing stuff out to her (he then) that were a double standard and she always made excuses for why it was okay for her but not for me and the gas lighting and then I would feel crazy. I did confront my mother on Thanksgiving and she also gas lighted me (I made a thread about it in The Haven)and it was turning into a fight so my dad butted in and cut us off before I could tell her how my brother brought it up because she was saying I was the one who did. But I felt proud for standing up fir myself because I got mad. I was close to saying out loud to her, "don't gaslight me." I hate it when she does this and I am getting so sick of it. I think I have to be mad enough to be confrontational because then that fear feeling goes away and I feel armor on me and a shield around my heart. It's like I am ready for a fight.


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Shahunshah
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28 Nov 2016, 3:34 am

League_Girl wrote:
I hate confrontations. The thought of doing it gives me anxiety. I also feel it makes me passive and two faced because of my anxiety. I am always afraid people will get mad at me and there will be a fight between us and I am afraid I will be upset so I am a avoider and I have pissed people off in the past online for confronting them like pointing out stuff to them that bothered me. I guess they fixed me. I am always happy when others are confrontational. But I am always mad at myself because I feel weak. I used to confront my ex too by pointing stuff out to her (he then) that were a double standard and she always made excuses for why it was okay for her but not for me and the gas lighting and then I would feel crazy. I did confront my mother on Thanksgiving and she also gas lighted me (I made a thread about it in The Haven)and it was turning into a fight so my dad butted in and cut us off before I could tell her how my brother brought it up because she was saying I was the one who did. But I felt proud for standing up fir myself because I got mad. I was close to saying out loud to her, "don't gaslight me." I hate it when she does this and I am getting so sick of it. I think I have to be mad enough to be confrontational because then that fear feeling goes away and I feel armor on me and a shield around my heart. It's like I am ready for a fight.
Well what have you got to lose from being confrontational. The worst case scenario is that you will slightly anger someone for a period of time. If on the other hand you don't do it then the said person may be free to continue their bad behavior and not change it since their is no one urging that person to do so. Which do you prefer?



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28 Nov 2016, 5:47 am

I am most definitely not wanting to cause confrontations. I find it difficult to enter into any conversation, let alone oppose and contradict somebody immediately. Unfortunately, an inability to temper what I say can cause people to think that I am being argumentative when I'm merely making a statement.


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Joe90
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28 Nov 2016, 6:54 am

Being confrontational is something I cannot do even if my life depended on it. I know in my head how to do it, but actually bringing myself to do it is so hard.


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28 Nov 2016, 8:44 am

I've often learned it's better to just smile and nod unless someone is doing something dangerous.



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28 Nov 2016, 9:19 am

I have times where I am confrontational and other times when I am not. I seem to go back and forth on this one. I do not like getting that way with people because it makes me tense and stressed out, but I also know that if something is bothering me, then I need to address it or I will explode later and that never ends well. Then there are times when I simply do not register that something is bothering me. If I am not even aware that my heart rate has changed, then there is not upset to act on... if that makes sense. I can also be very unaware of my surroundings. It tends to be an all or nothing kind of thing for me and I have no idea why that is. I seem to lack a middle ground.

Sometimes I end up accidentally aggressive/confrontational. I used to be a person who sometimes needed to be restrained because I would get violent. On more than one occasion I have gone full force at someone, situated myself in the middle of a fist fight and chased people out of neighbor's yards. That kinda stuff used to happen to me on automatic. I would not think to myself, gee you ought to go and break up that fight... my feet would just move me there and I would be screaming at the top of my lungs and ripping grown men apart. One time I got punched in the face doing that, but mostly (luckily for me) no real harm has come to me from reacting and not thinking.


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28 Nov 2016, 9:29 am

Those who see confrontation in normal conversation as a "go-to" thing to make a point end up on my "shun list." It is that simple. Get argumentative or insulting with me, and watch me avoid you from then on. I use the WrongPlanet.net "friends and foes" lists well and always use the "unsubscribe" button to distance myself from the tools and trolls.


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28 Nov 2016, 9:54 am

I don't think so. Normally, I hate confrontations and try to be nice.



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28 Nov 2016, 10:04 am

When, someone is saying something false, I tell them about it so they don't embarrass themselves. I'm not confrontational persay. I mostly just mind my own business.


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Shahunshah
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28 Nov 2016, 1:02 pm

AspieUtah wrote:
Those who see confrontation in normal conversation as a "go-to" thing to make a point end up on my "shun list." It is that simple. Get argumentative or insulting with me, and watch me avoid you from then on. I use the WrongPlanet.net "friends and foes" lists well and always use the "unsubscribe" button to distance myself from the tools and trolls.
I guess it depends which way you do it at times.

When I want a discussion. I sometimes ask the other person why they think that and if they are willing to discuss it then throw in a counterpoint.