Saw my shrink again today...is this guy for real???

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I went to my psychiatrist today to get a prescription for anti-depressants and also to maybe see if there's anything I can take for some AS symptoms (what's bothering me most right now is I can only eat one food at a time, so I eat that for lunch and dinner for months until one day I just get sick of it and from that time until I find out what else I can eat the thought of eating anything makes me physically ill). My mom came in with me because I freeze up when I see shrinks and he wouldn't see just my mom to talk about me, I had to be there. Anyway I've seen this guy a few times in the past 3 years, he's the one who originally diagnosed me with OCD. Well my mom is in there and starts talking about Asperger's about how I self-diagnosed and how after doing research it describes me exactly, especially my childhood, and was talking about different troubles I've encountered. She was describing my food issue and the doc asked if I was underweight and she said no (I have amazing metabolism...no matter how much or how little I eat I am always the same weight, give or take 5 lbs). So the doc then says that if I'm not losing weight it must not be that much of an issue and moves on to the next topic (I typically live off cereal until I find the next food I can eat.)

Then she starts talking about my social difficulties and he started talking about how Asperger's is a learning disability in that social skills are delayed but can be learned if the person puts forth any effort...and since I told him I was majoring in psychology he said that as I go along in my studies I will learn social skills from my major (! !! !!). This literally was his solution. He also suggested I pick up social skills by getting a job at a summer camp so I "interact more" with people. He was dead serious. AS to him is like dyslexia - it's tough but if you "study hard enough" you'll "get over it".

When my mom asked him to prescribe me something for depression he turned to me and asked me what I'd like to be put on. After he started talking out of his ass about AS I wanted to just get up and leave because it's 100% clear he needs to RETIRE since he has NO idea what he was talking about, but the fact that he was asking me, an 18 year old patient, what medication I should be put on, was almost too much to handle. This is also a doctor that has fallen asleep several times while talking to me (and my mom). The only reason we go back is because he prescribes stuff at the drop of the hat so it's just easy to go and get refills from him. Although I don't want to go back at all - I hate this guy.

I'm trying to find someone in my area that specializes in AS but everyone's several hours away...the only guy that's close to me has his number out of service so I'm going to drive to his office tomorrow to make an appt.

For all the people that dump all over Aspies for self-dxing...they are almost as full of crap as the ignorant doctors that we have to deal with. I'm not even trying to get a dx (I know I have it), I just want to get some prescriptions and some help with coping skills to help me make it through college (my reaction to stress is that I shut off...the last semester of college I only left my room for work, food, and once a week for the only class I WANTED to go to. I failed one class entirely, got a C in the other, though I have no idea how. My mom thinks I have a B- average and I don't want to disappoint her by telling her the truth).

Last edited by phenomenon on 14 May 2007, 5:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm sorry your shrink sucks so much. I hope you're able to find someone better.

This doesn't excuse the rest of his awful behavior, but I wonder if he asked you what you'd like to be on because you'd clearly done your research in other areas, so he figured you might have also researched different medications. That was the case with me and my psychiatrist. He asked me what I wanted to be on, and I already knew because both my parents are psychologists and had recommended Lexapro, which I actually have found helpful for my social anxiety.

I would not recommend this. I was a camp counselor for one summer and it was tough, tough tough. I'd never do it again.
What I *would* recommend is to find some group on campus which shares an interest of yours, preferably a small group, or at least one that meets in small groups. That way you can meet a few people in a low-stress setting who share your interests.

Advice/question: Is there any way that you can see a psychologist and then get prescribed drugs from a general doctor? That's how we do it.

Social skills can be learned academically. That part is true. But you have to learn how to read context, which is different and the main problem with autism. It also is unrelated to sensory integration disorder which can override any skills or understanding you have. If you suffer from frequent sensory overload, you may need anti-depressants for that alone.

I have the same problem you do. I only eat certian foods, and I have to eat them for lunch breakfast dinner brunch anytime. My family calls it kicks my last one was pizza sandwiches, and if I dont get them or if we run out of the food, I go insane, I'll literally throw up anything else I eat, it sucks. I went to my doctor once and he said I was anorexic which I'm not, and I'm not underweight at all, yet people say that because of my fast metabalism also. When I'm between kicks, I loose it, nothing excites me, and I loose weigh real fast, so I do what you do, usually live off of cereal just to live until I find my new kick of food.
Shrinks are such AHoles, they really are, they always think they know everything when they really don't. I hate talking to shrinks also, I always feel like their judging me, and they really don't give two craps what your saying, they just want the money, thats what I feel. I only go to guy therapists, because I hate girls, no offense to anyone becoming one, I just hate they way they treat me. Everything has to be guy to me, I never understood that, I can't have girl doctors in anything, has to be a guy, I do not know why. All the therapists I went to, I hated talking so it never helped, so he would just sit there and study me, which would not do anything, besides getting me upset. So I understand what your going through.

I'm really sorry for the hard time you are having with the medical profession, Phenomenon, epecially when you need them to get on with your life. Has your mother got the time to go doctor shopping without you?

It might be worth the effort to travel several hours to a specialised centre. Easy for me to say, but my family are getting wonderful service from such a place. Maybe you could go in semester breaks.

Well, first off I'm sorry you didn't hear what you wanted to hear from him, but you know what I say to that: get over it. Dealing with AS is hard work sometimes. Why the hell do you think it's all about getting a rx and popping pills anyways? Who gave you that BS idea??? That's a victim mentality, and I have no patience for that. You have to go out into the world and learn skills that didn't come you naturally because, yes, AS causes delaysin your development. Delays - that's the clinically term for it too. That's why it's classified as a pervasive developmental disorder. Look it up.

Before I had any confirmation that I had AS, I learned a get deal of my social skills from being a music major, and later from studying theology and philosophy. Yes, from my academic majors. I also learned a lot of social skills from working crappy jobs like sales clerk at a tropical fish store and being a campus tutor because I had to interact with people. How else do you think people learn this stuff? Duh.

I agree with that shrink. I wouldn't use the words "get over it" in a complete sense, but I agree with the direction he tried to point you in. You'll always have AS, but you can learn these skills if you apply yourself and don't expect to be treated like you're hopelessly defected and deserving of special treatment all your life. I give him kudos for not caving into your neediness and apparent drug seeking, and instead telling you straight up that yes, you CAN learn these skills but YOU have to do the work. God knows, there'd be a hell of less whining on these AS forums if Aspies all around just accepted that fact.

Sure you're experiencing stress. I don't discount that. I've dealt with stress too, to the point I was nearly psychotic at a couple of point in my college days. But hey, you're at a massive advantage over me - I didn't know very much about AS until AFTER college. You have a lot more tools at your disposal than I did. And I'll tell you right now that to first thing you have to do to cope with stress constructively (speaking as someone who's been there adn succeeded with less of the resources you have) that you have to keep a strong, positive mentality about yourself. If all you do is whine and pout that you can't cope with the stress because you have AS, of course you'll fail. You've set yourself up for failure. You've told yourself you can't do it because, *sniff sniff*, you're a pitiful little helpless Aspie. For christ's sake.

You don't need pills. You need a serious attitude change. You need to find some self respect. You need to be seeing a therapist or a counselor or a f'ing drill sargent who'll kick you in the rear, and not some "specialist" who'll pander to your insecurities and navel gazing. Do you want to spend your life going to one shrink after another for pills, pills, and more pills because you won't do for yourself what only you can do for yourself? Seriously? Because that's exactly what this kind of arrogant, self-serving, self-pitying attitude will get you.

Is this guy even a real phyctraist or an idot?

Hi Phenomenon,

There's a webpage listing a large amount of psychologists specializing in AS, which you can get to by clicking here.

I thought the job of a shrink was to reach out to the neediness in others. I don't see that you were whining Phenomenon. You need help at this stage, and you are reaching out for it.

We are all different, and we all cope in different ways. Some like Cade get there with determination. Some like you get there by reaching out for help. Both of you are strong and are survivors. You could have both curled up in a corner, but you are out there getting on with your lives.

My grandson (7 years) is at the moment undergoing cognitive therapy. He is learning to have a strong, positive mentality about himself. But he needs intervention to achieve. and I think he will always need help in this area.

While I agree that people with AS can learn social skills if we apply ourselves, I don't think it is particularly helpful to tell an Aspie to "get over it" and force yourself to overcome AS. I also don't see anything wrong with admitting that you may need help, and seeking medication to aid. I don't think drugs are the only answer, but from what I've read (and I've had lousy experience with all medications myself) it can sometimes make a significant difference. Just as long as one doesn't expect the medication to do all the work for them.

That's insane.





That's actually quite reasonable.

Dang it, no Canadian listings...

Cade, you've obviously had something go very wrong in your life and have troubles far worse than mine that have left you twisted and hateful. I hope you find the inner strength to overcome these and become a human being at some point in your life.

I agree that interacting with people is a good idea, but a camp setting isn't very low stress when you're a counselor, especially if it's a residential camp so there's no escape from the people around you. I think he should start out in a more low-key setting first.

Cade,

Cut her some slack. The doctor was OBVIOUSLY pretty stupid. And anything about social relationships you can learn reliably in 25 years, you could certainly learn in 17. 15 is probably the most active time, you are around lots of people, and you just have more reason and ability to LEARN. And TWO YEARS! Yet people don't seem to learn well. After all, there IS little feedback, and feedback isn't that good. I certainly don't like the whining and insults either, but you COULD cut her some slack. The idea of forcing someone to be gregarious doesn't work very well, and certainly isn't as reliable as you imply.

Hi Cade,

A strong positive attitude is of course a great asset in finding one's way in life. But telling somebody they're "whining" is neither strong nor positive. Nor is it strong or positive to fight your AS, which is, and will always be, at the core of your being. You are not a faulty NT. You are a perfectly fine Aspie, with certain strengths and weaknesses just like anything else that lives.

Indeed we need some social skills in order to function in this world. Only those few, though, that cater to the equally few social needs that we have. Attempts to go beyond that would be fake and pathetic, we'd be like dogs made to wear clothes and ride bicycles.

You are not in any way, shape or form responsible for the expectations of others, you know. Unless you created an expectation, for instance by making a promise. The NT world is full of myths, and one of them is that if an expectation does not come true, people tend to conclude that "something went wrong" with the subject of the expectation, rather than admitting to the obvious: the expectation was wrong.

There are things that are, and things that you are. There are no things that "should be", or things that you "should be". Reality is all there is, so join it, experience it and do your thing in it. That's strong and positive.