Talking to People Without Caring What They Say

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starkid
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03 Jan 2017, 2:45 pm

On another forum someone complained about being bullied on the forum. Someone else advised him to stop caring about what other people say. I've seen several people say something like this, but I don't understand it.

Why would a person other than a troll be talking to people online without caring about what those people say? Or does one care at first and then just stop caring once other people say things one doesn't like?



ArielsSong
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03 Jan 2017, 2:51 pm

I think it just means 'care' from an emotional perspective.

I care what people say on the forum, in the way that I am interested in what they have to say and I enjoy learning their opinions. I like to discuss and learn from others. But, I'm not emotionally affected by the forum, so I don't 'care' in that sense. What someone says online does not positively or negatively affect me, beyond being a discussion point.



kraftiekortie
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03 Jan 2017, 2:53 pm

I think, basically, the poster is encouraging the bullied person to ignore the bully. Not to have such an emotional reaction that he/she feels like confronting the bully.

Ignoring the bully gives him less credibility immediately, and discouraging him/her from bullying further.

If the bully is answered, he/she feels he/she has more credibility--therefore, he/she is inspired to bully further.



starkid
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03 Jan 2017, 3:02 pm

ArielsSong wrote:
I care what people say on the forum, in the way that I am interested in what they have to say and I enjoy learning their opinions. I like to discuss and learn from others. But, I'm not emotionally affected by the forum, so I don't 'care' in that sense.


But being interested in something and not being emotionally affected by it seems contradictory. If you are interested in something, then doing it feels good, doesn't it? Doesn't enjoying something interesting give you positive emotions?



DataB4
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03 Jan 2017, 3:10 pm

I think it's the degree to which you care. You can find discussions interesting but not take random comments personally, for example. It's also about how much you trust random online opinions about you, and how much you believe in yourself so you can counter them in your head.



League_Girl
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03 Jan 2017, 3:34 pm

starkid wrote:
On another forum someone complained about being bullied on the forum. Someone else advised him to stop caring about what other people say. I've seen several people say something like this, but I don't understand it.

Why would a person other than a troll be talking to people online without caring about what those people say? Or does one care at first and then just stop caring once other people say things one doesn't like?




I think it just means don't let other comments get to you so much you let them offend you and hurt you. Just ignore those comments you don't like and don't take them seriously. If you care too much what others say, you will not have a peaceful time online and then you are having a bad day in real life because you are upset about something someone said online. It isn't really healthy and not the life you want to live. Also you don't want to be wasting your time online arguing with someone being all stressed out about it. So if you don't care what they say, their words have no affect on your emotions and you can still enjoy your time online and read the forums in peace and not dwelling on that comment. I think this also should apply in real life too. Let's say I make a mistake in public and a stranger yells a**hole to me, should I let that comment upset me or just move and and continue with my day still being happy without being upset over that incident?


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